Alternate Fantasy
by Draic
Summary: Squall somehow finds himself crossing between realities while asleep. In another life, Rinoa doesn't seem to exist. In the world we know, a dagger is found in Squall's pillow. All worlds have secrets...
1. Forgotten Angel

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Disclaimer: Alas, alack, I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, or any characters or places thereby related. Oh, woe is me!

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Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter One: Forgotten Angel

"Squall Leonhart!"

I looked up from the mess of papers on the desk in front of me and squinted to try and focus on the figure standing in my doorway.

"What is it?" I asked, irritated at being disturbed. The figure said nothing, but moved purposefully towards me. There was a soft swoosh as the door slid shut behind them, and my blurry vision finally cleared up, revealing blue garb, feminine features, dark hair, and a pretty, scowling face.

__

Oh no. I sighed. _Here it comes…_

Rinoa slammed her palms onto the desk and glared at me. "Do you have any idea how late it is, Squall? You haven't been sleeping properly for weeks!"

My eyes flickered towards the small clock on the edge of the desk, but I slowly and deliberately put down my pen and folded my arms, trying not to yawn. Now was not the time. "I have a lot to do," I told her, and waited for the retort I knew was coming. I wasn't disappointed.

"Well, _there's_ a surprise," she returned. "And why might this be, I wonder?" Rinoa paused, then shook her head irritably, dark hair waving over her face. "Squall, you're still doing it!"

"Doing what?" I asked, uninterested.

"You still don't trust anyone to help you out! We had this conversation a few days ago, in FH. Remember? Squall, you never let anyone help you and you never give anyone even a clue when you're in over your head."

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My reasons still haven't changed, Rinoa. What's the point of talking to other people about my problems? They've already got their own to sort out. It's better to stand on my own two feet and handle what I'm given, rather than relying on someone else for support. What if they can't handle the pressure? I'm not going to let everything come crashing down on top of me just because someone else can't handle it. No, on top of everything else that's the last thing I need.

I uncrossed my arms and rubbed my eyes. "Rinoa… What's your point?" I asked wearily. She rolled her eyes and sat on my bed.

"Squall, just because you're the head of Garden, it doesn't mean you can't still be a total idiot sometimes. You don't have to do everything yourself! All this work that keeps you up at night - Do you think Cid ever did paperwork? He _had_ a secretary, you know!"

I blinked. _He did? I never noticed. Maybe they were too busy to ever leave their office, wherever that is._

"Why should I dump all this work on someone else?" I demanded.

"Because you're too important to everyone to collapse when we need you most!" Rinoa snapped, and stormed to the door.

I was shocked by her ferocity. It sounded just like the fights we'd had after the Timber mission. Rinoa had changed since then, had matured a little, perhaps. But for the most part she was light-hearted, playful, often annoying, but… pleasant to be around. What had brought this on?

As the door slid open again, Rinoa turned her head slightly and said in a calmer tone, "Besides, it won't be 'dumping' work on anyone. If you share work, it makes less for each person to do. You obviously weren't taught that as a child." A glimpse of wings and she was gone.

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I wouldn't know - I can't remember my childhood. I rubbed my eyes again and tried to concentrate on the work in front of me, but the tiny print just couldn't reach my brain. _Hyne,_ _I can't stand this paperwork much longer… It would be nice to sleep in… Maybe Rinoa was right… Maybe I should get a secretary…_

I moved slowly and collapsed on my bed, staring through my hair to the ceiling above. _Who could I find to be my secretary? …Would I have to pay them? …Maybe I can dig up whoever Cid was using…Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow…_

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Sis… Are you gonna come back? …Or am I all alone?

"Wake up, Squall."

I groaned, and turned over. _Just a few more minutes, _I told myself.

The feminine voice persisted. "Come on, Squall, you slept in for most of the morning. You have to get up _sometime._"

I frowned slightly, eyes still closed. _I thought she _wanted_ me to get some sleep…_

I felt the pressure on my arms as someone forcibly pulled me to a sitting position. "Rinoa, please…" I moaned as I slowly opened my eyes.

I was faced with the multicoloured midriff of the girl who'd woken me. _Wearing something new today? Odd…_As I blinked my eyes a few times, she knelt by the bed, bringing her face to eye level. A coherent thought finally pierced my brain. _That's not Rinoa…_

A hand moved to brush a few blonde wisps out of her face, and eyes blue as the sky stared into mine.

"_Quistis_?" I said slowly.

The eyes seemed to sparkle as she flashed her teeth in an amused smile. "What, don't you recognise me?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head in confusion, and it suddenly dawned on me that she was not wearing her glasses. I felt her standing and followed suit, but couldn't help looking her up and down distractedly. Her usual red skirt and top had been replaced by a deep green material that bared her left leg and right shoulder, overlaid by a thick strip of cream that wound around her body, beginning with her right foot and vanishing somewhere around her left elbow. Attached to the cream strip were countless ribbons of various colours and lengths. I would have said something, but it was really none of my business if she'd chosen to give herself a makeover… besides, I'd been struck dumb by what she'd done to her hair. Tufts of blonde stuck out from her head at odd angles, each tied with ribbons akin to the ones that lined her outfit. I couldn't help feeling overwhelmed by the complete change in the formerly neat, composed Instructor.

"Come on, Squall, you're going to be late!" she insisted, and tapped her foot impatiently. She even seemed completely oblivious to my shock. Now _there_ was something new.

I shook my head again and tried to gather my thoughts. _Quistis in green…Why the change? …I didn't think she could afford another outfit… and her _hair!

I blinked. _Hang on, late for _what_?_

As I opened my mouth, she threw a pile of clothes at my head. "I'll wait outside while you change," she told me, and her footsteps told me she was heading for the door. As I pulled a pair of pants off my head, she added, "And then you can tell me who this Rinoa is."

The door swung shut behind her and as it clicked, her words finally registered.

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WHAT?!

I jumped off the bed, spilling the clothes all over the floor, and moved to the door, impatiently waiting for it to slide open. It didn't, and I looked at it in surprise. It was wooden. It had hinges and a doorknob. It wasn't the automatic door that had been there last night.

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What the hell is this!?

I pulled the door open and stopped, momentarily disoriented by the unfamiliar perspective; I found myself staring across a hallway at a row of doors. My room had been opposite a long window.

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What in Hyne's name…

I turned to look back around the room I was in - tiny bed shoved up against the right-hand wall, small table in the opposite corner… this miniscule space was a _cadet's_ dorm. I shook my head in confusion and my eyes fell upon the clothes on the floor: short pants, a blue vest and some sort of long purple scarf.

The only explanation was that it was all some elaborate joke, and I'd been the victim. I thought I'd let them know years ago that I wouldn't accept this sort of messing about.

"What are you waiting for?" Quistis asked from behind me. I whirled and narrowed my eyes accusingly at her, as she stood there with hands on hips. "Hey, don't glare at me like that," she continued, playfully poking me in the chest. "I don't care what side of the bed you woke on this morning, if you get me a detention you'll be partnering Gerssan for tomorrow's classes."

I was momentarily thrown off track by the strange threat and unfamiliar name, but decided to ignore it until I sorted out the matter at hand.

"What," I demanded, gesturing over my shoulder at the room behind me, "is this?"

Quistis was unimpressed; she merely raised her eyebrows at me and said, "…It's your _dorm_, Squall."

"This isn't funny, Quistis," I warned.

She shook her head, arms spread wide. "And I'm not laughing, Squall." I stared at her in utter confusion, and she pressed on. "What is _with _you this morning? I don't suppose this has got anything to do with Rinoa, does it?"

Rinoa. Of course. I'd bet this was all supposed to be some sort of 'fun' remedy for all my worries.

"Where is she?" I growled.

"How should I know?" Quistis cried, throwing up her hands. "I've never met the girl! _You_ tell _me_ where she is!"

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She's never met… Confused suspicion turned to panic as I desperately sought for any trace of humor in her eyes.

"…You're _serious_, aren't you?" I whispered, as my world spun around me. Quistis' puzzled look began to adopt a tinge of concern.

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She doesn't know who Rinoa is. She honestly doesn't have a clue… What the hell is going on? My mind was racing as I struggled to make sense of what was happening.

"Squall… are you feeling alright?" Quistis asked. "Maybe you should go see Doctor Dincht."

"Are you kidding?" I asked her distractedly. "If I go in to see him, I won't get out until lunchtime for his speeches. That guy just likes the sound of his own voice."

Quistis chuckled, and I stared at her in sudden alarm. _Where the hell did _that_ come from? I don't even _know _a Doctor Dincht… The only doctor I've ever had was Doctor Kad… Doctor…_

I blinked and looked around. What had I been doing?

Quistis was standing in front of me. "Sorry, what did you say?" I asked her.

Her eyes had been twinkling for some reason - she'd obviously been amused at something. But now her expression had changed to one of confusion.

"I didn't say anything, Squall," she replied, and folded her arms. "_You _were just telling me you didn't want to see Doctor Dincht."

I stared at her. _Did I? _"Why would I say something like that? I feel fine." I looked around at the empty hallway. "Hey, what time is it? Shouldn't we be in class?" I caught her expression of complete amazement and asked, "What is it?"

"What happened to Mister Grumpy?" she returned. "The way you were acting, I thought you were going to bite my head off. What's this girl _done_ to you?"

I stared at her blankly. "What girl?"

She gaped at me. "That's what I've been trying to find out! Who is Rinoa?"

"Rinoa?" I repeated. The name meant nothing to me. I shrugged.

"Squall, I asked you who Rinoa was only half a minute ago and you were _shocked_ that I didn't know. And now you're trying to tell me _you_ don't know who she is either? Either you're making this whole thing up as some ridiculous joke, or…"

She paused and looked at me suspiciously. Despite the many protests and questions I was building up, the only one that came out was, "Or what?"

She shifted her feet, began fiddling with her ribbons and wouldn't look at me. "I want you to tell me the truth, Squall," she said softly. "This girl Rinoa…" She took a deep breath and looked up. "Have you been cheating on me?"

I fell all over myself laughing. "_Cheating_ on you?"

Quistis blushed and looked down, shifting her feet. "Well, it was just that…"

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Hang on… "Cheating on _you_?" I reiterated, shocked and confused. _Cheating on her… on Quistis? Wouldn't that mean we're… Isn't she… what's going on? _Quistis looked none too pleased, but at least she had the fire back in her eyes.

"Oh, so now you've forgotten _me_? Well, let me remind you…" She did an odd little bow and clapped her hands. "For your personal entertainment, we bring to you… Me! My name is Quistis Miranh. I'm eighteen, I have blonde hair and blue eyes and I'm training to be a SeeD at Balamb Garden. I've also been going out with you, Squall Leonhart, for about four months now."

I just stared at her. Somehow, I couldn't quite grasp what she was talking about. There was an odd buzzing in my head, like there was a voice screaming out, "She's lying!" But, no… she was right… somehow she was telling the truth, but I was hearing lies. Quistis… no, there was nothing wrong with her last name… was there? Four months… yes, close enough… training? Of course Quistis was still training as a cadet – what else would she be? So why was part of my mind telling me this didn't make any sense? I rubbed my forehead distractedly and then stared at my hand. There was something odd about my head.

Quistis was still looking at me expectantly. "I think… the infirmary is a very good idea," I told her.

"Oh… okay. Um, do you want me to come with you?"

I smiled at her. "No, it's alright Quistis. I don't want to make you any more late."

That got her. She even managed a "But, Squall…" but she caught sight of her watch and started looking agitated.

"Hey, just tell Instructor Segal that I was sick and you had to take me to the Infirmary," I advised her. "You can't get in trouble for that."

She looked relieved. "That's perfect! Thanks, Squall…" She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and darted off. I watched her go with a smile, then headed off in the other direction.

As I made my way through Garden, I found myself admiring the craftsmanship of its makers. The delicate, streamlined curves of the walls and hallways, matched with the efficiency of the design… the pyramid-like tower with the spoked 'wheel' of hallways lined with lush foliage at the base… It was definitely a beautiful building, and a great place to live, however strange it seemed when considering our profession. We were mercenaries for hire, when it came down to it. But, watching the people passing by, I could say with great certainty that we wouldn't choose to be anywhere else.

I continued studying the passers-by and waved to those I knew. Some waved back, but there were a few people who waved to me that I didn't recognise at all… Except as I stared at them in surprise, I realised that I _did_ know them after all. Ordinarily I wouldn't have been too worried - some I didn't have that much to do with - until I suddenly realised that the unfamiliar boy who had just nodded to me was Durran Kovish, who I'd shared a dorm with for almost a full three years now.

Perhaps I really _did_ have a problem. Some weird sort of semi-amnesia or something.

Worst of all was when I got to the infirmary hallway. "Hey, Squall!" A dark-haired boy of about ten was calling to me and his face would just not click. If he knew my name, did that mean I knew him? Had I ever seen him before? Or was he just someone I passed in the hall? As I hesitated, he jogged up to me and bombarded me with a series of questions: "Hey! Where ya goin', Squall? Why aren't ya in class? Have you got an outdoor class today? Lowen had an outdoor class the other day and almost got eaten by a Bite Bug. Have you seen Lowen? He came out this way and Jani was chasing after him but I can't see Jani either. Do you know Jani? She likes you. If my Instructor asks you where I am, don't tell her, okay? She doesn't like Lowen and Jani doesn't like her cause she said to Brigady that…"

He had me backed up against a wall, but at this point I'd managed to edge around him sideways until he was no longer blocking the path down the southwest hallway. So as soon as he paused for breath, I blurted out:

"Uhh… I'm not feeling too well, uh, kid, so, uh, I'm going to, um, go. Bye!"

And I fled down the hallway, just short of running in panic. I burst through the double doors at the end of the hall and began, "Doctor, I need…"

Doctor Kadowaki looked up. She was wearing an apron and a hairnet.

"Let me guess… you need a hot dog?" she supplied, pointing at me with a spatula. My mouth worked soundlessly. "For your friend, of course," she continued, waving the implement and giggling. "'Cause he's lying there on his deathbed, and he grabs your hand and whispers… 'If only I had a hot dog… maybe I would have the strength to carry on...'" She laughed. "Really, the excuses you kids come up with… like that young lady who tried to tell me she was allergic to everything else we had to offer, and so she HAD to have the last hot dog… Although I rather like your story – I've always dreamed of being a doctor. Anyway, here you go… Squall, isn't it? Hope your friend feels better! Ha, ha!"

She prodded my hand with a stick of meat on a bun and I grabbed it by instinct only. Somehow I managed to close my gaping mouth and stammer out my thanks. Totally bewildered, I backed out of the Inf- Cafeteria.

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You've lived here for about a decade, Squall, and you can't even remember how to get to the Infirmary. Fantastic.

At least the kid was nowhere in sight. On the other hand, I could have asked him for directions - he seemed talkative enough…

"Hey, Squall! Is that hot dog for me?"

I jumped at the booming voice behind me and spun around, holding the hot dog out like a sword. Whereupon the tall, dark guy took it and said, "Thanks, Squall, they're always out of 'em by the time I get there."

"You know?" someone said, and then I realised with a start that it had been me.

Raijin looked confused. I knew the feeling.

"Uh…Okay…" he offered. "Well… see ya, Squall. And thanks again for the hot dog!"

In a trance, I called my farewells to the cadet's retreating back and then cursed as I returned to the problem at hand.

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I should have asked him where the infirmary is. Since he knows my name and I can remember his, maybe we could have had a normal conversation.

A short young woman in uniform walked past. Her hair was chestnut brown and I caught a flash of green eyes.

"Selphie?" I called, hopefully.

She stopped and turned to look at me. I hurried to catch up before the chance left.

"Selphie, can you tell me where the infirmary is? Please?"

Selphie looked up at me with those twinkling eyes. She sneered. "Lost your way, hotshot?"

I should have been used to Selphie's unfounded animosity towards me by now, but for some reason it was especially astonishing at that moment. What I _should_ have found astonishing was that I had actually been expecting a cheery, civil reply.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Could you find me someone who _will_ tell me where it is?"

She was all set up with her eyes narrowed and even had her lips in a thin line and everything when someone called out to her from behind me and spoiled the whole effect.

"Hey, Selphie!"

We both turned to the tall blonde guy who was jogging up to us. He wore a blue-green t-shirt underneath a singlet that was mostly purple except for a white streak across his chest, and a second that ran down the left side of his body, continued after the gap of his stomach on his long reddish pants. "I thought you were going to wait for me, Sel!" he said, and grinned as if that was a joke. Considering Selphie's usual temperment, perhaps it was.

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Hang on, did he just call her 'Sel'?

"Yeah, sorry Seifer," Selphie replied, eyes flickering towards me and looking more irritated than sorry.

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Sorry? To Seifer?

The blonde followed the shorter girl's eyes and suddenly seemed to notice me. "Oh, hey Squall. What's up?"

I gave a start. _Yes, Squall, this is called having a conversation. Maybe Seifer isn't your best friend, but you get along pretty well. _So why did it feel so weird to be addressed like that?

"…Uh…Can you tell me where the infirmary is?" I managed faintly. He frowned, but before he could say anything I added, "Please, no more questions. I think I have a kind of amnesia. I don't remember where the infirmary is, but I have to go there so they can fix me up. Okay?" I said, trying to keep the hysteria out of my voice.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, amnesia, hey? Weird…" He caught the look on my face and continued. "Ah, the infirmary is next to the training area." I stared at him. "…You don't remember where the training centre is?" he guessed, seeing the anguished look on my face. "Oh, uh, it's… HEY! SELPHIE!" he shouted at the small figure striding off down the main hall. She'd obviously tired of the company. Seifer turned back to me. "Look, Squall, just check the directory, okay?" He even pointed it out - all of twenty paces away - and sprinted after the brunette once more as I clapped a hand to my head in disgust. _Why the hell didn't I think of that? It's so blindingly obvious._

As Seifer reached the shorter girl, I heard him asking, "What was that about?"

Selphie gave him a look and started up the stairs to the elevator, but I caught the start of her rant.

"The guy's a complete moron, Seifer. I can't understand why…"

I managed to restrain myself until the elevator doors had snapped shut and the pair risen out of sight before I dashed madly to the directory.

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Better memorise this… again… in case I need to go somewhere else in a hurry. Let's see… clockwise from here, it's the cafeteria, quad, then the library, the dorms, and the infirmary! Yes! Then the training centre and the…magic testing area…

I didn't even bother wondering why I felt such surprise at the name of a place I'd been in so many, many times before.

I ran to the infirmary, tried to shake off the sudden visions of cars and hesitantly called, "Doctor?"

"Yes?" came a voice from one of the adjoining rooms.

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What was his name? Dr. Dincht? …I know a Dincht, don't I? Don't I?

A man in a white coat appeared, holding a trash can. "Oh, Squall! I was just cleaning up. What can I do for you?"

He was blonde, short and stocky. Though I was somewhat relieved to notice that he was clearly in his forties and unlike the ten-year-old, I recalled seeing this man many times before.

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Oh, thank Hyne. Finally, I can set this straight…

"Doctor… I think I've got a sort of amnesia…" I began, then realised that was practically all I knew about it.

"Oh really?" The doctor seemed impressed. "Well, I haven't had that in a while. What have you forgotten?"

I actually considered the question before I caught the broad smile etched on his face. He laughed and shook his head. "Oh come on, you shouldn't have been caught out by such a pathetic joke as that."

"Sorry," I muttered. "It's been a difficult morning."

"I can imagine," the doctor sympathised. "But I'm afraid if it truly is amnesia, there is nothing I can do for you. No reliable medicine but time."

"Fantastic," I said, rubbing my eyes. "Can I at least lie down for a while?"

"Oh, sure, go ahead." He gestured to the room he'd just left.

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He sure sounds familiar… I wish I knew why…

"Oh," he said casually as I passed, "if you happen to have any Guardians junctioned, it might help to get them out of your head for a while. They do tend to put a lot of strain on the mind… not to mention the body."

"Thanks," I said, wondering if he was hinting at something or if my screwed-up brain was just getting me paranoid.

However at the sight of the bed, all thought fled from my mind. I practically collapsed on the white sheets and closed my eyes…

I was standing in the rain, staring off into the distance. "Sis… Where are you?"

"I'm here, Squall."

"Sis?"

I couldn't believe it. Sis was back!

"Elle! You're back! I was doin' real good by myself. Did you see? …I missed you, Sis. I…"

She laughed, but it wasn't a nice laugh. It was high and cold, not at all like Elle's light laughter.

"Sis…?"

"You fool. You weak, pitiful fool. Did you imagine you had gotten rid of me? I have all the power this time… Squall. I hold all the keys. I will make you watch those you love suffer and die and then I will kill you. And this time, there will be no one to stop me."

She laughed again; the same high, chilling laugh. Elle turned to me and pulled out a silver knife.

"Sleep well, little brother."

I woke up screaming.

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Oh, Hyne. Elle…?

I brushed damp hair away from my sweat-streaked face and concentrated on breathing evenly again. My eyes focussed on the SeeD uniform hanging from the hook on the wall. Yes, I was a SeeD. I was in my room. I sighed in relief and lay down again.

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That was pretty bad. It was so real… How the hell did my mind drench up something like that?

I shifted my weight, trying to get comfortable under the hot, sweat-soaked sheets. Sleepily, I turned my head.

There was a silver knife sticking into the pillow, a finger's width from my face.

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Oh, shit.


	2. When You Least Expect It

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Disclaimer: Verily, I must admit the noble conceptions of Squaresoft to be beyond my humble grasp. Prithee, do not charge me for my pretense. Lawks, I do be a-talking strangeth!

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Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Two: When You Least Suspect It

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Oh, shit…

As I lay there, hypnotized by the gleaming silver blade inches from my face, there was a knock at the door. Before I could think of saying anything, the door opened.

"Squall? Are you awake? You --" Rinoa's voice cut off abruptly.

I shoved the pillow under the sheets a few seconds too late, sat up in bed and tried to look innocent. Rinoa's face was white and she spoke in a breathless whisper.

"Squall, is that a… a _knife_ in your pillow? Oh, Hyne, Squall…" She started towards me and stopped, bit her lip and reached a hand out to me, then abruptly grabbed the ring on the chain around her neck and held on for dear life.

"It's nothing," I told her. "…I dropped it." I added, and winced at the obvious lie.

I expected her to explode and yell at me hysterically, but she just stood there and looked at me, fear and concern and an image of myself reflected in her deep, dark eyes.

"Squall…" she murmured. Now I was worried. Wouldn't she _normally_ have yelled at me?

"What?" I asked hesitantly. Would I actually have preferred it if she yelled?

She shook her head slowly, as if shaking away painful thoughts. "…Quistis wants to talk to you."

__

Quistis. Vague memories of a dream surfaced, and I felt my face heating. I shook my head. _You've probably just received a death threat, Squall. This is not the time to get distracted by things like that._

"Where is she?" I asked, standing and crossing to the washbasin. I splashed my face and looked at Rinoa in the mirror. She was still fiddling with the ring at her throat. "Rinoa?"

She gave a start. "What? Oh, she's in the cafeteria." Some of the colour returned to her face, and she added half-heartedly, "You should get something to eat. You haven't been eating properly since the concer… um, since FH."

I sighed and rubbed my face with a towel. _Not since the SeeD exam, actually. Everything just seemed to pile up… Timber, the sorceress, Galbadia's prison, the missiles… I guess I thought it wouldn't be my problem once I told the Headmaster. I was going to dump everything on Cid, and then he turned around and dumped everything on me… ironic. Now I have to deal with Garden's problems as well as my own… It's so depressing…no wonder I can't find an appetite._

I looked up and saw Rinoa was watching me. Or watching through me. She was clearly gone again. Had something bad happened?

"Okay, I'm up." I said. She nodded absently and chewed her lip. "Rinoa…?"

"Mmm?"

"I need to get changed."

Rinoa blushed. "Oh, yeah, right… so, um, I'll see you later, then," she said. She made for the hall, but stopped in the doorway and turned to face me. "Squall, look after yourself, alright?"

I stared at her for a moment. _What? Me? Why? Oh…_

I'd actually forgotten about the knife for a while.

Rinoa grabbed my arm. "Alright? Squall?"

"…Alright." She turned to go.

"Rinoa?" I called.

"Yes?"

I scratched my head. "Um… You too… Look after yourself."

__

Oh, great. Fantastic. I sound like Laguna.

She smiled with her sad eyes and left.

I had a quick shower and got changed. Leaning over the bed to get my jacket, I looked down and remembered the knife.

__

Better not leave it lying around.

I pulled it the rest of the way out of my pillow and dropped it on top of a bunch of paper in the top drawer of my desk, then closed the drawer and locked it. I grabbed my jacket, dropped the key in my pocket and left the room.

Lost in my thoughts, I was halfway to the infirmary when I realised it wasn't the cafeteria. I actually had to look at the directory for the first time in about a decade, discounting the time I'd shown Selphie around.

Eventually, I did make it to the real cafeteria but standing there, looking up at the colossal menu was enough to make me lose my appetite through total indecision.

What should I get? Pie? Sandwiches?

"What'll you have, honey?" the cafeteria lady asked.

Then I saw it: the perfect solution.

I shrugged. "Whatever."

"Okay… how about some Balamb fish and chips and a little salad?"

"Fine."

She passed me a plate of food, and as I took it, she commented, "I haven't seen you in here much lately, Squall."

__

So?

"You've got to keep your strength up, Commander," she added with a smile.

I sighed. More advice, but no solutions.

"Whatever." I muttered. "Can I have my lunch now?"

She blinked and let go of my plate.

I walked to the eating area and searched the many faces for a sign of golden blonde hair or a green… a _red_ dress. _Green? Quistis doesn't wear green. _I wondered briefly at the image of Quistis in the twisting green-and-cream outfit, but soon shoved it to the back of my mind. Snapping out of my thoughts, I finally noticed the odd looks I was receiving.

__

I must look like a fool standing here like this. Oh, screw it. If she wants to talk to me that badly, she_ can find _me_._

I chose a table at the back, by a window and poked at the salad.

__

Who would send me threats by knife? Seifer? He has no idea where we are, now that the Garden's mobile. So… it had to be someone inside Garden. Who hates me that much? Or are they working for--

The clattering of cutlery broke me out of my trance and I looked up as Quistis moved to sit across the table from me.

She caught my eye and smiled. "Sorry, was I interrupting your train of thought?"

"Not really." I was staring at her plate.

Quistis had a serving of lasagne, a few slices of carrot and some lettuce. My mouth watered.

__

Why did I leave the decision to an overweight, middle-aged woman instead of making up my own mind?

I stared at my own plate and poked doubtfully at a chip.

"I didn't think you liked fish," Quistis commented, starting on her lasagne.

Eyes fixed on her fork, I said, "I don't… really…" I shook my head and looked back up at her face. "Rinoa told me you wanted to talk?"

"Mmm. We're nearing Trabia. We can be at… whatever's left of their Garden by noon tomorrow." She hesitated. "…I know you're probably going to want to check it out, so you'll need to think about whether to take Selphie straight away. Understandably, she's really uptight about this."

"She doesn't seem too upset."

Quistis rolled her eyes.

"And no one thought _you_ seemed stressed at all until you broke down in Galbadia when we heard Seifer had been executed."

I didn't really want to think about that. I looked down at my plate, and was surprised to find I'd eaten the fish and most of the chips. I looked back up at Quistis, who had put down her knife and fork and had her arms folded on the table. Quistis, who whether I liked it or not, knew me better than anyone else.

"…You seriously had no clue?" I asked.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Weird. I was expecting the usual 'whatever.' Maybe I'm losing my touch…" She caught my eye, and said, "Oh, I had some idea, Squall, but you do try so hard to suppress all emotion."

She dropped her eyes and intently studied her plate. I shifted uncomfortably.

"…Is that all you wanted to talk about? Selphie and Trabia?" I asked finally.

Quistis looked startled for some reason.

"Oh! No. No, of course not. For one thing, there's the MD level. Xu had an idea that we could send down some of the higher level SeeDs to get rid of the monsters and do some repairs."

"On what?"

That window you smashed for one, plus the ladder, that damned elevator… they might even find something useful."

I nodded, and she continued.

"The Garden Faculty need to be questioned. They seem to have been loyal to NORG rather than Garden or the Headmaster. Without NORG… we need to make sure they aren't going to do anything drastic, like try to kill Headmaster Cid again. Oh, and speaking of Cid --"

"Hey, Squall!" a male voice called. I put my hand to my head and sighed.

"Zell?" Quistis asked me without turning.

I nodded as the spiky-haired youth made his way to our table and plonked down next to Quistis.

"Oh, hey, Instruc -- uh, I mean, hi, Quistis."

He winced a little as Quistis' smile faded. She obviously still missed being an instructor, and although I was fairly sure NORG had some part in her dismissal, she hadn't reapplied, let alone been asked back. But it was really none of my business. She had to deal with her own problems…

"So, uh, what's going on?" Zell asked, breaking the silence.

"General meeting, by the looks of it," I replied scathingly. He just grinned. "So what were you saying about the Headmaster, Quistis?"

She looked around and leaned towards me a little. "He's resigned."

"What!?" Zell cried, all but drowning out my, "Why?"

"Shhh!" Quistis hissed at Zell. "We don't want anyone knowing about this! It might only be temporary…"

__

Might!? This is too important a matter to be unsure about! This is bad…

"… and even if it isn't, we don't want anyone panicking until we're sure. As for why… he's been under a lot of stress lately. Half the Garden recently tried to find and kill him, he is one of the few people on the planet who may know where Ellone is and what she means to Edea, _plus_ he was in charge of killing his own wife until recently and _now_ he has to stand aside and let it happen."

"Man," Zell said. We sat in silence for a while.

"If Cid leaves Garden… who's going to be the new Headmaster?" Zell asked quietly.

Quistis' eyes flickered, but she said nothing.

__

Oh, no. They're going to try and make me Headmaster. No way. I have enough problems already… I gotta get out of here.

"Well that all sounds fine to me," I told Quists. _Except for bloody Commander Headmaster Squall, it does!_ "Is there anything else?" I asked, planning to leave.

"No," Quistis said, and bent over her plate again.

"Hey, Squall," Zell said suddenly. "Was there really a knife in your pillow this morning?"

Quistis' head shot up. "What!?"

__

Oh, great. I sank back into my seat. I wasn't getting out of this one.

"Rinoa told you?" I asked Zell.

"Yeah, well, she looked worried and I asked why, so…" Catching my drift, he added, "It's not like she's spread it around the whole of Garden or anything. She didn't even seem to want to tell me."

__

Well, I guess it hadn't spread to Quistis, so that counts for something…

"Squall, this is serious!" Quistis said, looking worried. "Why didn't you tell us!? Someone could be trying to kill you!"

__

No, because if they were…

"If someone did want to kill me, they wouldn't leave a knife in my pillow when they had a perfect opportunity to put a knife in _me._" I told her.

"So it was a threat, then."

"A pretty poor one. There was no message or warning, just the knife itself." But then I suddenly remembered… _No message? There was that dream with Sis… No, that's impossible._

"But if it wasn't a threat, or an attempt to kill you… that doesn't make any sense." Zell put in.

__

How could someone from a dream affect the waking world?

"…Maybe it wasn't Squall they were trying to kill…?" Quistis mused. "On the other hand, why would you expect to find anyone else in Squall's dorm?"

The two of them continued the conversation, not noticing my preoccupation.

"Who could have done it?" Zell was saying.

__

Wasn't there another… dream?

"It has to be someone within Garden."

A few images resurfaced from the depths of my mind. _Quistis in green, Seifer… smiling… _I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate.

"You think one of_ us_ did it?"

__

If I can just remember what happened… It seemed so real; I remember that.

"Perhaps we have a stowaway?"

__

Rinoa! Quistis didn't know Rinoa… and… and Selphie had a temper, but was getting along with Seifer.

"Nah, _no-one_ gets past our gatekeeper. But what about in FH? No one was guarding the 2F entrance…"

__

Zell and Irvine… I don't remember… were they even around?

"The maintenance crew should have noticed… but where would they hide?"

__

Dr. Kadowaki was in the cafeteria, which was where the infirmary normally is…

"MD level?"

"Not likely, but we can tell the SeeDs going down there to look out, just in case."

__

It seemed like the whole Garden had been rearranged…

"Training grounds?" Zell offered. "Nah, too dangerous. Parking lot? Quad?"

__

Then there was that doctor. What was his name? Dincht, wasn't it?

"Squall, what did you do with the knife?"

__

I wonder… any relation to Zell?

"Squall!"

My train of thought popped like a bubble. "What?" I asked, annoyed.

"Where's the knife? You didn't just leave it in your pillow, did you?"

"Oh… I locked it in my drawer." Managing to recall the last image from my dream, I turned to Zell. "Zell… what does your father look like?" Quistis shared startled glances with Zell and they both stared at me.

"Uh… he's a little taller than me, he has blonde hair…" he began, and stopped. "Why the hell do you want to know?"

__

Why do_ I want to know? It was just a dream… _"… Just curious."

"I think I have a photo in my wallet… yeah." He pulled out the picture and slid it across the table. Staring out of the photo at me was a perfect replica of the doctor in my dream.

__

What does this mean?

I looked up at Zell. "Have I ever met your father?"

He scratched his head. "Uh, no… I don't think so… he's a train driver, so he's not in Balamb a lot."

__

Train driver, not a doctor. But…

"Has he ever… had a different career?"

"The hell!? … Well, from what I hear at home, he was a doctor when I was a kid. He's never really talked much about it…" He trailed off and stared at me, confused.

"Squall, why this sudden interest in Zell's father?" Quistis asked, totally bewildered. "You're not trying to accuse _him_ of attempting to kill you, are you?" Zell laughed nervously. I wasn't listening.

__

I've never met Zell's father, but I manage to conjure him up in the most life-like dream I've ever had? And a doctor, when he learned the trade when he was younger?

What if… somehow…

What if the dream was_ real?_

And the one with Sis…

No! No, this whole thing is a coincidence. I must've seen a picture of Zell's dad somewhere.

"Squall…"

"No, it's nothing," I cut in. "I'm fine."

"So what was with the question-and-answer jazz?" Zell asked.

__

How am I going to explain away this?

"I…"

I had no idea what to say.

Luckily, Quistis was there to get it totally wrong for me.

"Oh, Squall!" She was wearing that amused smile she did so well.

"What?" I asked.

"Did Rinoa finally get to you?"

I stared at her. _What?_

Zell caught on before I did. "Oh, your 'little talk' at the concert?"

I stared from one bemused face to another.

"This is an odd way to start expressing yourself, Squall, but I'm glad you're opening up."

"Yeah, I mean, I'm flattered and all, but… Man, you need to work on your timing!" Zell laughed.

I covered my eyes and tried not to laugh along with him, _at_ him.

"And to think that Rinoa came off thinking it went badly! She could use some lessons in Squall-reading, eh, Squall?" She was attempting to make a joke, but the joke was on her.

__

Ha! The so-called expert gets it wrong!

But I had to play my part. "Whatever," I said, and tried to look sulky.

Zell moved around the table and sat next to me, draping his arm across my shoulders. "Look, Quistis, we're best buds!"

They were both laughing at me now.

"I'm outta here." I said, no longer needing to act. I threw Zell's arm off me, stood and left them to laugh at my retreating back.

I wandered back to my dorm and locked the door. I needed something to do, to help clear my thoughts a bit. Should I go to the Training Centre? Was I really in the right state of mind to chance fighting a T-Rexaur? Probably not.

__

There's always the dreaded paperwork…

Except there wasn't. The stacks of paper I remembered from last night were gone. Had someone come in while I was out? I'd have to impress on people my need for privacy. I didn't really mind that all the work had been taken out of my hands – I hadn't actually given it away, so technically I wasn't dumping it on anyone. But I was annoyed that for once, I actually didn't have anything to do. I sat at my desk and looked at the few remaining slips of paper - the students' Garden Improvement Suggestions:

"More funds for the Library Committee" – Library Girl.

"Customary membership to the Garden Festival Committee" - S.T.

"More Hot Dogs!" - Z.D.

It was laughable really. None of these people really thought it would benefit Garden, but it would suit their own purposes quite well. Was this what I was expected to do; what the Commander of Balamb Garden was left to do? Wade through pleas for money, for pet projects and personal squabbles? I wondered what title was awarded to the people who actually did the work.

Mildly amused, I leaned back in my chair and put my hands behind my head. There was a metallic ring as something slipped out of my pocket and hit the floor. I sighed and looked down.

It was the key to my top drawer.

__

Oh. Yeah.

My good humour evaporated as I picked up the key and unlocked the dagger's prison.

I rummaged around the drawer, then stopped, confused. I tried to peer into the shadows at the back, then in sheer exasperation, I pulled the whole drawer out and turned it upside down.

Papers fountained out and glided through the air. A few lost Gil clinked onto my desk.

But the knife was gone.

**__**

Ooh… spooky! (Laughs) Hope everyone's having fun! Thanks to all the reviewers:

AUTHORS:

ZidanesNEWPrincess (hope you haven't fallen off your chair!)

Baby Rose (You still think it's just a dream?)

Elf Dragon (stop being mean to Quistis! You're so MEAN to her!)

faery-of-fiction (thanks for adding some detail to your review!!)

ANONYMITES:

FF8Goddess (my first ever reviewer… I do hope you find me again so you can see this thank you!)

Cailin (my second ever reviewer! Thanks so much!)

Mel

Well, everybody, hope you're enjoying yourselves, and remember the three R's: Read, Review, and… uh, forget the ravioli…

Draic


	3. Lacking Support

__

Disclaimer: Umm… I don't own any part of Final Fantasy 8, but I own this story, and you can't take that away from me… can you?

****

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Three: Lacking Support

The knife was gone.

__

What the hell is going on here!?

Someone had taken the blade from my locked drawer. Someone had access to my room, my possessions, and even if they didn't want to kill me - yet - they certainly weren't too pleased with me. None of this made me terribly happy. I had to do something about this. I was going to see the Headmaster.

I crossed the room, cursing as the door hesitated before sliding open. I made sure to lock the door behind me this time, and turned down the hallway only to bump into and bowl over one of the members of the library committee - those three seemed to turn up everywhere _except_ the library. Unable to express my fury, I glared at them until their irritated pouts wiped right off their faces and they began to look nervous. I brushed past them and continued on my way.

Perhaps normally I would have apologised. But those three were definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time and I was in no mood to put up with any of their idiotic drivel. I should have given them a detention. I probably had the authority to do that. I wasn't sure. On the other hand, they wouldn't be, either. There was another thing I could ask Headmaster Cid.

I was inside the elevator, watching the doors close and mentally wreaking vengeance upon the Library Committee when I remembered…

__

Oh… He resigned. He wouldn't be up in his office anymore.

So I had to force the doors back open and storm back to my room. Feeling like a fool really didn't help my mood any and I began cursing Cid as well. _What right does he have to just leave like that!? Where the hell has he gone? And why in Hyne's name did he leave all this to me?_

And when I saw the Library committee _still_ yapping mindlessly outside my door…

They shot off like frightened deer, fleeing in total panic. Momentarily pleased with myself, I watched them go with an evil smile. Then I remembered my privacy problem, growled at the startled passers-by and entered my room, muttering to myself. I wished I had a hinged door instead of this automatic piece of junk so I could slam it. But I made sure to lock the damn thing this time.

__

Not that it will help me any now, I thought sourly.

I threw myself onto my bed, but the sudden pressure on my pillow caused a small cloud of fluff to erupt from the hole in the casing with an insolent _phut_. I rolled my eyes, bemoaning my fate, then squeezed them shut in an effort to block out such injustice. _What the hell am I supposed to do now? Tell everyone I meet that my room is off-limits?_ No-one _is supposed to have a key to my room! Which automatically means it could be _anyone. _I suppose now I _know_ it has to be someone in Garden. Who could want to kill me? And… why? Someone from Deling? Galbadia Garden students? Possibly. We could have been infiltrated ages ago. But…why now?_

I awoke to the screeching of my alarm clock and assaulted it with my fist, not quite managing to smash it to bits. _Then_ I opened my eyes.

__

Six thirty a.m.!? I can't have slept through the whole afternoon!

I pulled back the sheets and got out of bed with the intention of checking the view from the window, but I tripped over a pair of boots by my bed and ended up sprawled on the floor.

A soft snoring I hadn't noticed before suddenly broke off into a snort and a girl's voice yawned, gasped and said, "Oh, Squall! What happened? Are you hurt?"

I stood and brushed myself off.

"No, I just tripped over these--" I gave a start and spun around. "Who are you and what are you doing in my room!?"

I rubbed my sleep-clogged eyes and stared at the female figure leaning towards me.

"Oh, we're not going through this again, are we?" said the woman, clad in a swirl of green.

"Oh no," I moaned, "I don't like this dream."

"Hmph," said the non-red clothed blonde-haired woman with a distinct lack of spectacles and shoulder-length gloves, "What's not to like?" Quistis continued.

I started slapping my cheeks in a desperate attempt to wake up.

"I can help you there," the totally fake, made-up, not-real figment of my imagination said, then gave me a surprisingly painful full-armed slap across the face.

"AAARGH!"

Figments of your imagination definitely shouldn't be allowed to cause you physical pain.

"Quistis! What the hell was--"

Her lips were suddenly pressed hard against mine and her arms snaked around my waist.

__

Errr…

"Wow," I said, once I could breathe again.

"Not a dream?" Quistis asked, almost threateningly.

"Oh, _definitely_," I heard myself say, then caught sight of my dopey puppy-dog expression in a mirror. I cleared my throat hastily and held up a hand towards the blonde.

"Can you wait right there for a second? I have to do something."

I tore a piece of paper out of the notepad on the desk and scribbled onto it:

QUISTIS IS - WAS - MY INSTRUCTOR

SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!

I underlined the 'NOT' a few times, stared at it, and added:

SHE WEARS GLASSES

I stared nervously at the woman across the room, who blew a kiss at me. I swallowed hard, and added:

AND SHE'S ALWAYS DRESSED IN RED.

But even as I read and re-read the phrases I'd written only seconds ago, the words lost any of the meaning they had held when I had written them.

"Are you sure you're okay, Squall?" Quistis asked, pouting a little. I couldn't imagine her wearing glasses - what a weird thing to write. "What are you writing, anyway?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about…" I hesitated and then asked, "Uh… when did you start wearing green? Don't you normally… haven't you ever… I thought I remembered you wearing red…"

Quistis peered at me. "No, I don't think so. What, you want a lady in red? Well, sorry, but I can't stand the colour. When do you think you saw me in red?"

I leaned back against the desk and wondered where this image had come from. "You know, I don't really remember. Maybe I imagined it."

"At least you remember _me_ now, Mister Who-are-you-and-what-are-you-doing-in-my-room."

I laughed. "I couldn't possibly forget _you_, Quistis. What I don't recall is why your boots are lying next to my bed, and why I'm here instead of the Infirmary.

She laughed as well. "Don't blame the boots for your clumsiness, Squall! And I had you moved here when Dr. Dincht told me you were fine but for this amnesia, which can't be cured in a hospital bed any better than in your own."

"So… why are _you_ here?" I asked.

She batted her eyelashes at me. "What, you don't want me here?"

"No, no, it's not that…" I protested.

She looked down at the floor, suddenly serious. "I just wanted to know that you were okay, Squall."

I smiled, pulled her close and said, "I couldn't be better."

She murmured something into my shoulder, laughing softly, then broke away abruptly, eyes wide.

"Oh no! We're late again!"

She dashed out of the room as I whirled to look at the clock. Class had started ten minutes ago. There was no time to change into casual wear; I'd have to go in the cadet uniform that I'd been sleeping in. I splashed my face, grabbed the jacket from the back of the chair and hopped around the room, pulling on my boots. I was just about to leave when I spotted Quistis' own footwear, still lying on the ground. I grabbed them and sprinted to her room. She wasn't there.

"Damn it," I cursed between breaths.

I took off for the elevator, heading for the 2F classroom, when I remembered…

__

Shit. We're in the Magic Training Area today.

With a curious feeling of déjà vu, I forced the doors open and sped to the southeast corner of Garden. Spotting Quistis, in her socks, peeking into the classroom, I called out, "Quistis!"

She jumped and spun to face me. Panting, I held out her boots.

"Quistis… I've… got your…"

A figure stepped into the hallway behind her. I stopped and stared.

"Kiros?" I asked in total disbelief.

The tall, dark man nodded at me. "Good to see you've recovered, Squall. It seems, however, that your memory is still playing up. Cadets like you refer to me as 'Instructor Segal'. Understand?"

I straightened up. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now, I suggest you give Miss Miranh her boots, so she can join the class. You both have detention."

Quistis moaned, but when Kiros looked at her, she quickly bent down to pull on her shoes.

"Now we're just waiting on Miss Tilmitt and… well, here they are."

Seifer and Selphie had just joined us.

"Good to see you two. You will be joining Miss Trepe and Mister Leonhart for detention tomorrow."

Seifer just shook his head, but Selphie protested.

"But Instructor Segal, we--"

"You know the rules, Selphie."

"Yes, sir," she said through clenched teeth. She glared at the instructor's back as he left us.

Seifer turned to her. "You're not going to tell him?"

"Why should I?"

"Because it's important! Because--"

"Tell him what?" Quistis interrupted, straightening and stamping her foot into her boot.

Seifer opened his mouth, but Selphie spoke instead.

"It's not your concern."

"Come on, Sel, they'll all find out sooner or later."

"Then let it be later!" she yelled, and stormed into class.

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Sorry," he told us, but followed the brunette without explaining further.

I turned to Quistis. "What was that about?"

"I don't know, but did you see her eyes?"

"Her eyes?" I asked blankly.

"They were all red."

I considered this. "So?"

She kicked me in the shins.

"So, you thickheaded fool, she's been crying!"

I stopped rubbing my leg and stared at her. _Selphie? Crying?_

"Oooh, you're so insensitive, Squall!"

She whirled around and followed the other two.

For a moment, I had seen her hair turn dark, her clothes turn blue, and wings spread across her shoulders.

I shook my head, and the vision vanished. _Weird_, I thought, then hurried into the room.

"I hope you've all done your homework," Kiros' voice was saying as I joined the class, "because it is vital to today's lesson."

Several people groaned. Homework had been to collect various types of Support Magic. It had been sprung upon us at the end of last class, and we had been given no reasons, or even any clues as to _which_ types we were supposed to get. I had spent my afternoon with Quistis in the Training Centre, drawing Sleep and Silence from Grats.

"Today's lesson," Kiros continued, "is training in the use of Reflect."

Panicked whispers started up immediately.

"Reflect? We were supposed to stock up on _Reflect_!?"

"How are we supposed to find Reflect spells in Balamb!?"

"No monsters here have that spell!"

"No Draw Points…"

"…supposed to refine…?"

"…don't have the GF to do that…"

Instructor Segal continued, forcing us to stop just to hear him. "You are to divide yourselves into pairs. The objective is to slip Support spells past your opponent's barrier, while keeping your own Reflect strong enough to withstand their attack. You must learn both your opponent's and your own magic skills in order to predict when a Reflect spell will wear off."

Ever since the word 'Reflect' had turned up again, the murmurs rose, eventually drowning the Instructor out entirely. He held up his hands for silence and in perfect unison, the class full of panicked expressions fell silent.

Kiros surveyed the class carefully, making sure everyone was paying attention. When every face was more or less calm and attentive, he threw the lifesaver:

"I will provide the Reflect spells."

He was almost drowned out again in an explosion of sighs of relief.

"Provided, of course, you have sufficient offensive Support Magic."

There were a few muffled groans, but most of the class looked happy - except Quistis. Scowling, she leant over and practically hissed in my ear, "How _could_ they turn up with _nothing_!?"

I smiled. Despite her playfulness, Quistis was a demon about rules. She would make it personal every time someone forgot even one line of Garden code. Of course, she had taken to bending a few lately…

I replied in a whisper. "_We_ were almost half an hour late this morning, Quistis."

She lost the scowl and started looking worried and sulky at the same time. An amusing combination.

We joined the line of students receiving the precious Reflect spells from the Instructor. While we waited, I tried to recall exactly how long Kiros had been here as an instructor. Maybe it was that voice in the back of my head again, but he seemed out of place here somehow. Like he was some creature from my dreams or something. I laughed to myself. _Yeah, a demon instructor from my nightmares. How original._

I looked ahead at Quistis' back and suddenly a thought occurred to me.

"Hey, Quistis," I whispered, and tugged on one of her hair ribbons.

"Hey, quit it," she whispered back, and reached up to secure the ribbon in place.

"Have you ever wanted to be an instructor?" I asked.

Her hand paused at her head, and she turned her head to look back at me for a moment. I couldn't read her expression.

"It's a dream, Squall. It's just a dream."

I considered this for a moment. "You mean you _do_ want to-?" I had to cut short my conversation as Instructor Segal took Quistis' hand and she closed her eyes. Then it was my turn to close my eyes and feel the energy moving into me from Kiros' hand.

He released my hand and I moved to one side, looking around. Spells were already flying around the room, hitting their targets or rebounding off their shields. As an added element of danger, whatever the walls were made of randomly absorbed or reflected any stray spells.

I caught sight of Quistis, enthralled in another pair's fight. I grinned and readied a Sleep spell as I sneaked up behind her.

"Silence!" she shouted.

"Sleep! Wha-?"

Quistis had been totally alert - or maybe she just knew me. Either way, she was now facing me, sending magical energy flying towards my face.

"Aaah! R- Reflect!" I shouted, not really expecting to make it in time. Instinctively, I shielded my face with my arms. There was a slight shaking sensation, then… nothing. I felt normal. I slowly brought my arms down.

Quistis was lying on the floor, asleep. I tried my voice, just in case. "H-Hello? Ahem. Esuna!" The spell moved towards Quistis, then rebounded, rewarding me with a tingling sensation. _Damn. She must have cast Reflect a little too late._ Well, Sleep wasn't exactly damaging… _Hey, what happened to the Silence spell?_

I looked around, and caught sight of Kiros rubbing Echo Screen about his throat and mouth. Grimacing at the taste, he also rubbed some on his tongue. He noticed me watching guiltily and crossed over to me. "Squ--ll? Much as I --njoy the t--ste of Ech-- Scr--en, I would appreci--te it if you would pay more att--ntion to where you're re--irecting your opponent's --pells."

"Sorry, sir."

"Other than that, I suppose you d--serve some praise for casting two spells in the time it took Miss Mira-- to cast one, especially when she had the element of surpr--se. Well done."

I was taken aback. "…Thank you, sir."

He nodded. "I suggest you help wake Miss Miranh. She will not wish to miss any more of class."

He moved to another couple - both behind Reflect shields and not daring to cast other spells, leaving me to shake my girlfriend awake.

"Ah… I… wha…"

She gave a familiar snort and jerked awake. She looked around blearily, then moaned, "Oh, Squall, I didn't lose again, did I?"

I laughed and helped her to her feet.

Half an hour later and with the foul taste of Echo Screen lingering in our mouths, we were called to stop.

"Now that you have all had practice," Kiros was saying, "I propose a tournament. I will provide every cadet with ten Reflects. I will pair you up, and the first to cause a change in status wins. The winners shall pair off and so on until there is only one ultimate champion."

"But we'll run out of Reflects!" someone shouted.

"Well when you do, you can come to me for more. But be aware that it is permitted to cast spells while your partner is restocking."

"Hey, that's not--"

"Fair?" Kiros' voice hardened. "In life, you can never be sure who will play buy the rules and who bend or break them if they see the need. In battle, you cannot stop to ask your enemy if they will abide by the rules - they will have killed you by then. You must always assume your enemy will do whatever it takes to win, and be prepared for a knife once your back is turned."

__

A knife… a knife in your back… in your… pillow…

"Squall! Are you okay?"

Quistis' voice broke the spell. I regained my senses in time to hear, "Squall! You're with Nida."

I muttered a reassurance to Quistis and jogged over to my first challenger, a fairly nondescript dark-haired guy I never really noticed before. I smiled uncertainly, trying to shake off stray thoughts about daggers, and he nodded back to me and rolled his eyes. Instructor Segal, meanwhile, had paired off the rest of the class and was retreating to a small platform on one side of the room. Except for the sounds of feet shuffling and soft murmurs, the room was silent.

Kiros raised one arm. "Go!" he shouted, and the room erupted.

"Reflect!" Nida yelled.

__

Damn. Gonna have to wait him out. But before then, he'll--

"Sleep!" called my opponent, pointing at me.

"Reflect!" I called back, concentrating firmly on his direction. The spell, already weakened by my shield, spluttered into nothing against his. But as it hit, I could momentarily see his shield. It wouldn't last five seconds.

__

Five… Four… Three… Two…

"Sleep!" I yelled, and watched as the spell slipped past his defences and hit the overconfident victim.

"Damn!" Nida cursed as it began affecting him. "Why ca--" He sank to the floor.

"Nida asleep!" Kiros called, and I realised he was keeping track of who was out. Another cadet who must have actually lost before Nida came to drag him over to the platform.

I dodged as a stray bolt of energy flew in my direction, and moved out of the line of fire.

"Squall and Junai!" Kiros called, and I had just enough time to wonder _Who?_ before a spell hit me in the back, barely reflecting at all.

I whirled, scanning the room and found Junai: a tall, dark haired girl staring intently at me.

"Silence!" I cried, and my spell spluttered against her shield, rebounding towards me. I dived out of the way and the spell hit the wall, dissipating into nothing. The flickering of Junai's shield had told me she had only just cast it. Mine, however, had run out.

"Blind!" she shouted, and a bolt of darkness sped towards me.

"Reflect!"

The bolt rebounded, but missed Junai altogether, passing over her head.

She smirked at me and I returned the favor. My Reflect was fresh, hers slightly less so, forcing us to wait it out. Suddenly, Junai buckled, swinging her head dazedly from side to side.

"Hey! What the-?" she cried.

"Junai blinded!" Kiros called. "Squall and Luthier!"

As she was led off and I moved to face the next challenger, I realised what had happened to Junai. The reflected Blind had rebounded off the wall and struck her in the back, at the weak point of her barrier.

"Talk about dumb luck," I muttered, and leapt into the fight.

After a while I managed to reach the point where I'd be focusing so much on the duel that I'd barely notice who my opponent was. Even when each duel ended, I wouldn't have time to think about the body on the ground before Kiros called the next match. At least, not until…

"Selphie and Squall!"

I groaned as I searched around the few remaining cadets for the short brunette. Selphie was an absolute demon in every sense of the word, but especially in battle. It would come as no surprise when she won the tournament. But in the meantime, I had to face the girl I'd seen give some very nasty bruises to her friends – and she didn't even _like_ me.

And there she was, smiling in anticipation. With a start, I realised my barrier had faded and what's more, I was out of Reflects! I had to make a move now, before Selphie could act.

I sent a Silence spell flying in her direction and ran for Kiros while she was distracted.

"Here." Kiros said, not looking down from his raised platform. He held out his hand and I grabbed it, closing my eyes as I felt the tingling energy pass into me. I opened my eyes and searched the room for Selphie, who seemed to be readying a spell. I spiraled in towards her, but she stayed facing me, eyes locked firmly on mine.

"Fira!" she hissed.

__

Did she just say…?

The flaming bolt sped towards me.

"Reflect!" I screamed, and cast with everything I had.

The bolt hit, and burrowed into my barrier. I could feel the heat, and the friction was making me shake visibly.

"AaaaaaaAAAAARRRGGHH!" I yelled, planting my feet and practically leaning into the fireball just to stay up. But finally the bolt eased off, rebounding and spinning off to one side.

I hunched over, hands on knees, panting. I felt the remnants of my shield dissipating, and wondered if I had the strength to use another Reflect. I looked up at Selphie. She smiled again.

"Sleep!" she called in a sweet, sing-song voice.

__

She can't be serious… not after that…

I pulled myself up and prepared to cast again.

"Quistis zombied!" Kiros shouted.

__

What? Quistis! I turned my head, trying to see if she was all right.

And it hit.

It was just a Sleep spell, but I could still feel… something… else…

As the hypnotic spell took over, I still tried to catch a glimpse of Quistis… a flash of green… anything… but all I could see… as the spell took over… was Selphie… laughing…

There was a pause, then through the darkness I heard a voice. Someone was talking… calling me… shaking me… but I couldn't…

I couldn't…

**__**

Hi everybody! Isn't this fun? Yay for psycho-bitch Selphie! J Thanks to everyone who reads this, and more thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially:

AUTHORS:

Ashbear (Why, thank you! You flatterer, you)

Vick330 (thanks very much. Great to hear from you)

Baby Rose (Yeah, I haven't seen many stories where Ellone is the bad guy…)

ZidanesNEWPrincess (Glad you're enjoying my twisted tales)

Phire Phoenix (mysterious? I like mysterious…)

Kia - Kawaii princess (yep, the only way to find out IS to read the next chapter.)

ANONYMITES:

Lissa

CT

Dpx (lol. Sure, keep the ravioli!)

Mia (hope you survived the confusion!)

Hwoarang/Xiaoyu

You guys rock! Remember everybodys, the three R's: Read, Review, and… what the hell is ravioli anyway?

Draic


	4. Memorial

****

This chapter is brought to you by ZidanesNEWPrincess

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(…Well, not really but it's a perfect opportunity for a plug for preciousss reviewer…)

Everyone, I recommend her story "I'll Always Be There" by my mate ZidanesNEWPrincess!

A romantic drama about Zell and his library girl, Ally.

http:y, cannot turn him down, Rinoa will understand, she's only four for Hyne's sake, she wouldn't know if I was there or not.

"…He's busy," she finished, as the engine roared to life.

"Oh," said Rinoa, and turned to look out the window at the passing trees. Julia had to force herself not to stop the car and take her daughter in her arms right then and there and cry to her that everything was going to be all right. If only someone would return the favour.

"Hey, come on now, Rinoa. Your father has an extra special surprise waiting for you when you get back…" _Assuming the poor thing's still alive. _"…and we always have fun together, don't we?"

"Yeah," Rinoa admitted, and slumped back into her seat. Julia reached over with one hand to give her daughter's a squeeze. The smile soon crept back on to the girl's face.

"So have you had a good birthday?" Julia asked, glancing over to her passenger, who nodded enthusiastically.

"Yep!"

"And how old are you again?" the older woman prompted.

"I'm five now!" Rinoa replied, one hand held with fingers spread above her head as she strained to reach the roof.

"Really?" her mother cried, acting shocked. "You can't be five already, can you?"

"Yeah!" Rinoa reminded her, outraged and giggling, "I've been five all day!"

Julia added her own soft laughter to Rinoa's higher squeals. "I think you're right, my angel. You're almost grown up now. My my… doesn't time fly…"

She chuckled to herself as she leaned forward to peer into the light mist - just as a truck appeared out of the darkness. Rinoa's mother swerved as she slammed on the brakes and the tyres squealed as her daughter's scream pierced the air and Julia dived for her little girl to wrap her arms around her, to protect her, to hold her, to keep her safe…

"Mommy… mommy…? Somebody… my mommy's hurt! Please… it's okay, mommy… I'm here… and I love you… and Daddy… Daddy's gonna be here too… and he'll make you all better… Don't go, mommy… Daaaddy! Where are you? Mommy's … mommy's bleeding! …it's okay, mommy… Daddy's gonna be here soon… I love you too, mommy… no, don't go… I love you, mommy, don't die… mommy, open your eyes…"


	5. A Sinkful of Blood

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Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 8 or even Final Fantasy VIII. How sad am I? Ahh, I'll get over it… Really, I will… I swear…

****

Alternate Fantasy

****

By Draic

Chapter Five: A Sinkful of Blood

"Squall?"

"Squall?"

"Squall!"

"Squall!!"

"Wake up, Squall!"

I opened my eyes to the two women leaning over me. Two beautiful women, their faces looking down at me from opposite sides of my vision.

"Thank Hyne you're awake, Squall," one was saying, sounding relieved

__

Quistis.

I smiled at her, still feeling dopey.

"Good morning, your highness. Did you sleep well?" asked the other, a tinge of sarcasm mingling with amusement. I turned my head to look at the other woman, wondering who she was. Two dark eyes were staring down at me. Her eyes were so deep. So dark, so deep… My brow furrowed.

__

… Rinoa?

Something was odd. My vision was blurry, more than the normal allowance for the few moments after awakening. The two visions above me seemed too close together somehow, like they shouldn't be… close… for some reason. The blonde was speaking.

"We were afraid you wouldn't wake…" Was she talking about herself and Rinoa? She didn't even seem to be acknowledging the other's existence. The lights and ceiling were oddly difficult to make out. Where were the walls?

"Why?" I asked, my vision suddenly and inexplicably attracted to the girls' foreheads.

Quistis leaned forward to answer, "It was only a Sleep spell, but…"

I wasn't listening. My eyes widened.

Their foreheads were… overlapping!

I sat up quickly, but as I did so, a wall of sound enveloped me. A whooshing, howling noise like wind through a tunnel screamed in my ears. I was moving through sludge, rising so slowly… Quistis' face was moving ever closer, while Rinoa's was pulling away, eyes widened and mouth opening. With a hissing noise, I passed _through_ Quistis. I gasped and it echoed in my ears, impossibly long and loud.

Abruptly, I jerked forward. The sound stopped and my vision cleared, except for a ringing silence and a tableau of flashing spots.

"Jeez, you could have warned me!" Rinoa complained. "I almost fell over trying not to get smashed in the face!"

My mind was racing. _What the hell just happened?_

Quistis was gone. Rinoa was in front of me. _Magic Training Area…? _I looked around quickly. I was in a dorm. _Not mine - mine is smaller. This is a SeeD's dorm…_I paused._ I _am_ a SeeD! This is my dorm! My desk, my jacket, my bed, my door…_The door! I'd locked it! I had!

I looked back at Rinoa, standing there in my dorm, smiling at me.

"How did you get into my room!?" I demanded, confusion harshening my voice. Her grin became a frown.

"The door was…" She looked up at it, seeming mildly puzzled.

"Locked," I finished, and stared at her pointedly.

"Um… I…" This was obviously not a topic she wanted to pursue. She was backing away, towards the door. I leapt out of bed and blocked her escape route. She stopped and bit her lip.

"Well?"

She was looked up at me, doubt and fear all over her features.

"I… ah… well, you know…"

I cut off Rinoa's stammering and yelled, "No, I don't know! It seems like every time I wake up, you're there! How have you been getting into my room all this time? What do you want from me!?"

"Um… well…"

"RINOA!" I hollered at her.

She spoke softly, clutching her necklace and staring at the floor. "… That night in FH convinced me that…"

I happened to glance over her shoulder. There, lying on top of my desk and pointing towards my bed, was the dagger.

A sound like roaring wind through a tunnel…

I jerked forward and slammed into her forehead.

"Owww!" She slapped a hand to her head, covering her face. _What was that? _I wondered.

She brought her hand down from her face and--

Blonde.

"Squall!"

"Quistis!?"

Now I held a hand to _my_ head. Wasn't Rinoa just...? Hadn't I just been talking to…?

"What was that about?" Quistis asked, then seemed to shake it off. "I'm so glad you're awake! The doctor was saying…"

…talking to…

She threw herself at me, arms around my neck and head pressed against my chest.

…to…

"Rinoa!" I shouted.

Quistis lifted her tear-streaked face and stared at me with her vivid blue eyes.

"Rinoa…?" she whispered, and her eyes went flat. She climbed off me and just stood there, looking out the window.

"I'm glad you're alright," she mumbled. She reached out a hand towards my shoulder, paused, then turned and left the room.

__

Go after her! Go after her, dammit! If I hadn't been so confused, I would have done just that. On the other hand…At that moment, I couldn't have cared less. I'd been talking to Rinoa in my dorm. Now I was in the infirmary… well, it _looked _like the infirmary, but things seemed a little strange… _A little strange? This is the way the infirmary's always been!_ I shook my head. It was strange. I felt like… like someone was taking over my mind.

__

No! I jumped out of bed and fumbled through the Infirmary's chest of drawers, snatching the first piece of paper I saw, and searching for a pen.

Nothing.

"Damn!" I shouted, thumping the drawer.

I had a feeling that time was running out. _I should have followed Quistis… she'll be really… No! Rinoa, dagger, dorm. Rinoa, dagger, dorm…_

I raced to the doctor's desk and scrabbled around for a pen.

Nothing. _Rinoa, dagger…_

I leaned over the desk to pull out the drawers on the opposite side, and a pencil fell out of my hip pocket. _Rinoa…_

I laughed silently, grabbed it and attacked the page held in my hand.

Rinoa. Rinoa has dark hair and dark eyes. She wears blue. I met her at the SeeD graduation party a few months ago. She was wearing white at the time. We saw a shooting star. We danced. That night, Quistis took me to the Secret Area and told me she wasn't an instructor anymore. We saved Ellone from a monster, then the white SeeD came and took her away. I first saw Ellone in the Infirmary after I fought a duel with Seifer. We gave eachother matching scars between the eyes.

I glanced up at my reflection in the window. No scar. I looked a little strange without it. Actually, without it I… without…

__

Ri-

I stared blankly at my reflection, and he stared blankly back at me. I looked down at the creased sheet of paper in my hand. It was written in pencil, and I was holding the pencil that had been used to write it. I must have been the one to write it, and yet I didn't have a clue what it meant. This was the second time I'd somehow sent myself messages that made no sense.

The sound of footsteps coming down the hall broke me out of my funk. I quickly crumpled up the paper and threw it in the bin. It was absolutely meaningless anyway, wasn't it?

I stared at it, lying there, and felt a sudden wave of nausea.

A hand touched my arm.

"AAAH!" I yelled. I fumbled for a weapon that wasn't there, and wildly pointed the pencil at the man's throat.

"Whoa! Hey, easy there," the man said, and as he stepped back and raised his hands I realised it was Dr. Dincht.

I stared at him and stammered out, "I…I'm sorry…I… didn't…"

The doctor cut me off. "What was that all about? They don't teach you to be this highly strung, do they? I was just going to say that you looked a lot better, except now I think I've changed my mind. At least we know your lungs are working." As I just stood there and stared at him, he added. "It might help if you put the pencil down."

I nodded wordlessly, lowered the pencil and fumbled for my pocket.

"I'm just going to check if you have a temperature, okay?" He raised one hand to my forehead, but cautiously, as if I was a wild animal. I tried not to make any sudden movements. "Well, you don't have a temperature, breathing seems normal…" He held my wrist to check my pulse, then looked up at me. "How do you feel?"

"Uh… okay, I guess."

He laughed as he repeated, "'Okay, I guess'?" Being nice and detailed, I see."

I managed a slightly hysterical grin. "Ha. Ha. Yeah. Um. I feel fine. Just tired, I guess."

"You feel tired? Still?" The doctor frowned and began scribbling on a scrap of paper on his desk.

"Is that bad?" I asked.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Well, that depends which way you look at it. It's great for me because it backs up my theory of why you collapsed like that."

I looked at him quizzically. "I collapsed because I was hit by a Sleep spell, doctor."

Amused, he replied, "Well, yes and no. Sleep spells usually last only for a few minutes. The longest I've ever seen someone out from a Sleep spell was perhaps half an hour. That particular Sleep spell was cast by Miss Tilmitt. I've heard she was also your own opponent in the tournament?"

I nodded and wondered where this was leading. "Selphie's a strong magic-user. If she put someone out for half an hour, surely she can put me out for a bit longer?"

His grin only widened. "How long do you think you've been asleep for, boy?"

It would have been about eight when I was hit, and according to the clock on the wall, it was now… A quarter past one.

"Five hours!" I said, shocked.

"Nope." He shook his head. "Try adding one."

"What… six hours?"

"Not one hour; One day."

I stared at him, openmouthed. "I've been asleep for twenty-nine hours!?"

He waved a hand. "Give or take a few – one thing I've learned from working here is never to trust the Infirmary clock."

I sat down abruptly on the desk.

"You see the problem." Doctor Dincht noted.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked him faintly.

"I think it's an allergy," the doctor said, as he moved around to sit at the desk chair.

"Allergy?" I repeated. "To what? To sleeping?"

"No, to Sleeping." The doctor laughed at my expression, and continued. "I believe you are allergic to Sleep spells. Some of the Instructors thought it must have been from fatigue or stress, in which case you just needed to rest for a while. I wasn't too sure about that – you don't look like someone who has a lot to worry about, if you don't mind me saying so. But you were just about comatose for far too long. We couldn't even wake you. Your blonde friend was very upset."

I rested my head in my hands. _Quistis… had she been waiting there the full thirty hours? And the first and only thing I do when I wake is call for Rinoa. I still don't even know who she is! Oh, shit… Why didn't I go after her? How am I going to explain away this one?_

"Hey, don't worry about it," Doctor Dincht said. "If I'm right, the effects will wear off before dinner – you'll be your usual hyperactive self in no time." I snorted. _Hyperactive?_ "Just be extra careful if you're fighting Grats in the training centre and stay away from any sort of sleeping pills – you never know, someone might have used powdered Sleep beads as the main ingredient. And look on the bright side – now if you sleep in and are late for class like you were yesterday morning, you've got an excuse. I'll even write you a note!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks, doctor," I said, reaching over the desk to shake his hand.

"No problem," he replied, "but speaking of yesterday morning… Your instructor passed by and said that if you woke before tonight, the detention still stands. You'll be working on the MD level. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news… you should have slept for a few more hours."

I groaned. "Okay, okay." And got up to leave.

"Oh, by the way," the doctor called, "Have you got over that amnesia you came in with the other day?"

My head snapped back towards him and I abruptly tripped over the bin, completely trashing the floor. "Ah… sorry," I said, and bent down to put everything back.

The doctor shook his head. "Don't worry about it – I'll clean it up. So… _have_ you got over your amnesia?"

I almost didn't hear him, staring at the paper I'd been picking off the floor, covered in my own handwriting.

"I don't know."

I couldn't find Quistis anywhere. She wasn't in the library, the quad, the cafeteria or even the infirmary. I wanted to check the Training Center, but I couldn't search everywhere for the simple reason that my allergy meant I could die if I went anywhere near a Grat. I doubted she was really there anyway. I even tried her dorm, but the door was locked and no-one answered. And since Garden Policy taught that everyone should lock their doors when they left, I couldn't even be sure she _was_ there. I called my apologies through the door, but one of her friends soon noticed and shooed me away.

"She's gone to Balamb for the day," she told me, but from the way she was glaring at me she knew I'd done something wrong to Quistis and so she would probably cover for her no matter where she was. Even so, I was out of ideas. I comforted myself with the knowledge that she had to go to detention that evening as well, but in the meantime I retreated to my own dorm.

I had kept the paper I'd found in the Infirmary, and now I lay it on the desk next to the first sheet I'd written on yesterday morning. It didn't make any more sense. If the messages were to be believed, Quistis had been my instructor, but wasn't any more - she'd lost the position after some dance… A SeeD party. How had I been at a party for SeeDs? Did that mean I had graduated? Quistis _had _admitted to me that she dreamed of being an Instructor… so was this some kind of vision of the future?

And the mysterious Rinoa appeared in the second message. But the small amount of information I was given about her just confirmed that I didn't know her. And if this _was_ a message from the future, then I wouldn't meet her until I became a SeeD.

As I searched the messages again, I noted the small but constant differences between the writing on the pages and my own handwriting. Whoever wrote this might not even be me - even a future me should surely have more similar handwriting? But… who else could it be from?

Sighing, I closed my eyes. There wasn't enough information here for me to work out anything definite. I couldn't even use it to explain to Quistis. She wouldn't accept such random information as an excuse. Love was such a difficult game. But maybe I could…

Suddenly, my eyes were open again.

"I decided then that… Squall, you…"

Someone touched my arm, and I followed it up to the face of a raven-haired beauty. Actually, it looked like her hair had been streaked with brown, but what bothered me the most was that she had clearly been talking to me for some time.

"What?" I whispered, addressing the world in general.

The girl looked at me with a confused smile, but pressed on. "You need somebody who understands you, Squall. But no one has managed to find out enough about you to even attempt such a thing…

I looked around the room. This wasn't my dorm. This was a SeeD's dorm. It seemed somehow familiar.

"…Although I understand Quistis came close."

My head snapped back to the girl in front of me. "Quistis?" I asked in surprise.

The dark-eyed girl just rolled her eyes, her smile shrinking a bit. "It was a joke, Squall. Even Quistis admits that she can only predict what you're going to say by the way your face clouds over."

I suddenly recognised this room. This morning, just after Quistis woke me up in the Infirmary, I had been here, looking at this girl for just a few moments before I'd returned to the world I knew. I thought it had been a dream…

"Anyway," the girl - Rinoa? - continued, "since you don't help anyone find out about yourself - quite the opposite, actually - I'm taking up the challenge of trying to work out what makes you tick."

"I'm not a clock," I growled, startling myself. The girl just laughed.

"Of course not, Squall. It's a figure of speech. But I figured that the best place to start would be your own room." She looked around pointedly and returned her gaze to my face. "That's all I want from you, Squall. If you want me to stay out of your dorm and," she giggled, "your underwear drawer, just tell me a little about yourself."

"I'll think about it," my voice informed her. This voice was taking over, I realised with a surge of panic. And I hadn't even _tried_ to find the answers to my questions! "Please just go."

Rinoa nodded, but with an almost sinister smile she said, "I'll get to you eventually, Squall. Sooner or later…" She trailed off, grinned and left.

I looked around the room. Almost completely spotless. _How very unlike me._ How in Hyne's name did this Rinoa expect to find anything in a room like this? There _was_ a very strange weapon on his desk, a sort of dagger…

__

The dagger!

What? No, hang on! I have to-

She didn't answer the question! The voice persisted.

__

At least let me… Stop it! Go away! I pleaded, as I felt myself moving to the door.

__

What are _you?_ He asked.

__

Please, at least let me write a note!

No answer. Of course not.

__

Arguing with myself. Not a good sign.

But I grabbed a sheet of paper from a drawer that was lying on top of the desk for some reason, and pulled a pencil from my pocket. _I guess some things never change._

Are you from my future?

__

Wow, that's very helpful, Squall. How can anyone answer a question like that?

Were you writing to me in the Infirmary? Writing about Rinoa, and a graduation ball, and Quistis not being an instructor any more?

__

Talk about Garden. Ask if it sounds familiar.

My name is Squall Leonhart. I'm seventeen, and I've been training to be a SeeD at Balamb Garden for about as long as I can remember. I've never been to a graduation ball - I'm only a cadet. And I don't know anyone called Rinoa. But Quistis told me she dreamed of being an Instructor. It makes me wonder if you are part of my future.

The voice was murmuring again. _Keep going!_ I told myself, and the pencil flew across the page as I wrote whatever came to mind.

In my time, Quistis is my girlfriend and we've been going out for months now. She asked me out the day of this year's SeeD exam. I told her to wait till that night, joking that if we made it, I'd go out with her, and if we didn't, I wouldn't. Ironically, the exam was postponed until this month. When we found out, we couldn't help but laugh. She claimed fate was making me decide for myself. So I did. She's very forgetful – she left her boots in my room when we were late the other day and I ran all over Garden trying to find her.

I smiled at the memory while I shook my hand out of a cramp and let it drop back onto the desk. A sharp pain ripped across my fingers.

"Aaah!"

I had cut myself on the dagger.

__

The dagger!

I raced to the door and out into the hallway, looking desperately up and down. _Damn! How could I let her get away like that? Some well-trained SeeD I am…_

My hand throbbed, and I looked down in surprise to see blood all over my hand.

__

Shit! I thought, more out of surprise than of pain. _How the hell did that happen?_

I quickly moved back into the dorm and pulled at the lower drawer of my desk with my good hand, cursing when I found it locked. I fumbled for my key, rattled it in the lock and yanked the drawer open. I grabbed the medical kit, giving a start as I noticed the dagger, bloodstained, on the desk. But my hand was aching pretty badly, so I retreated to the bathroom for the moment. As the water coursed over my bloody hand, I wondered again how I could have let Rinoa leave without answering my questions. I'd asked how she was getting into my room, and what she wanted. I could vaguely recall some long-winded explanation that she wanted to get to know me, but she never actually told me how she'd got into my locked room in the first place!

I sighed, turned off the tap and wiped my hand on a paper towel before it started bleeding again.

I pulled out a bandage from the medical kit and froze, the material slipping through my fingers and rolling across the floor.

My hand…

There was no cut.

I traced a finger around the line that was no longer there. Nothing.

I had a sinkful of bloody water and no wound.

I paced into the next room, wanting the conformation of blood on the dagger.

"Frickin' hell!" I cursed, not noticing my coining of Zell's line.

The dagger had vanished again.

The door was shut, but unlocked - as I had left it. It would have been easy enough for someone light on their feet to sneak in, grab the dagger and leave without me noticing.

Frustrated, I returned to the desk. There was a piece of paper with writing all over it that I hadn't noticed before, with a few drops of blood dotted across the page. As I read the seemingly nonsensical paragraph written on it, I realised that the only bloodstain that had come near the actual writing had covered one word.

Fate.

I shivered.

DING!

I jumped about a foot before I realised it was the goddamned intercom.

"Commander Leonhart, please report to the bridge."

I took one last look at the bloodstain and left my room, making absolutely certain to lock the door this time.

"There you are, Commander," Xu greeted me. I nodded in return.

"You look a little pale, Squall." Quistis noted. "Is something wrong?"

It was tempting to blurt out all the strange things that had been happening since yesterday morning, but even after all the madness I still believed it was best to keep your problems to yourself. The only person I trusted to help me was me. And if I ever did decide to tell Quistis -- or _anyone --_ of my problems, I certainly wouldn't do it in front of Xu and Nida. With my luck, the intercom would be on and my obvious insanity would be instantly apparent to every person in the building.

"I'm fine," I lied. "What's the problem?"

"We've arrived at Trabia," Xu informed me. "Their Garden is north of us, a short hike away. Will you want to leave now?"

"Yes." I needed to do something – anything - to get my mind off blood and blades.

"Who are you going to take with you?" Quistis asked.

"You and Selphie, if you don't mind." With any luck, Selphie would run ahead and leave me alone to talk - if I chose to, of course - with Quistis.

She shook her head. "I'll contact Selphie."

The brunette came almost immediately, smiling brightly and hopping from foot to foot. "Here I am!"

Her red eyes betrayed her facade. It seemed somehow familiar.

__

I don't know why - it's not something Selphie does often…

I wasn't sure if I meant crying, or letting the mask slip.

I guess both applied to me too.

I shook my head. "Let's go."

**__**

Well, first I guess I should explain the last chapter… but I'm not going to. Hehe! All I'm saying is that it's there for a reason.

For some of my older readers (from waay back 2-3 years ago), there has been major splitsville here. This chapter used to be combined with the next, and they were both in the same chapter as Chapter 7 is now. (Phew) The main reason they've been split up is because the chapter was so much longer than the others!! I couldn't really find any better place to stop. How DO people decide where to end a chapter, anyway?

But enough of that. Thanks to those who reviewed chapter 4:

AUTHORS:

ZidanesNEWPrincess (I haven't confused you yet? I'd better work harder…)

Solarwind Starfire (please, please finish your story!!!)

Kouryuu

Vick330 (boy do I like your reviews!)

White Crescent (If you find that Reflection fic you mentioned, please let me know! And… uh… did you actually beg me to let you WAIT for more!?)

Yaoifantasy

ANONYMITES:

CT (Eek! Um, good point actually. I really should know why Selphie doesn't like Squall in the other world. Thanks for pointing it out! I'll put my thinking cap on.)

Dark Phoenix (Thanks again, man. Check out my policy on Squinoas once I post it)

Ender

(PHEW!) Well, thanks once again to EVERYONE!!! I love you all!!!! Um, yeah, so if there's anything you don't understand or don't like about the story, please let me know. And remember the three R's: Read, Review, and… I don't know if I like ravioli… better make it rutabaga.

Draic

This chapter was brought to you by:

"Seifer's Camping Trip", a Vick330 production

It's humour! It's funny! And it's written by Vick!

(P.S. Go read it)

http:?storyid=379791

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	6. In Theory

__

Disclaimer: I don't own FF8. I don't think any one person really does. Is there anyone within Square that can actually stand up and say, "I own Final Fantasy VIII."? I don't think so. So can we get rid of the disclaimers? No? Oh well, it was worth a try…

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Six: In Theory

We trudged out into the searing white snow.

Selphie broke away from us again, racing off into the distance. She clearly wanted to get there and have it over and done with - she'd started darting ahead and waiting impatiently for us to catch up from the moment we'd left the elevator. I was in no hurry - I had other things on my mind; or rather, other things to try to get off my mind.

I was aware of Quistis glancing at me anxiously over her frosted glasses and giving the same look in the direction of the small girl on the horizon. She probably disapproved of my decision to face every battle rather than retreat from the challenges. On the other hand, she became agitated every time the other girl ran ahead, apparently trying both to slow her down and hurry me up. Personally, I thought she was fighting a losing battle on both counts.

Battle itself was calming in its simplicity. It was nowhere near as complex as my life had become:

Slash and pull the trigger. Avoid retaliation. If hit, use a Cura. Slash and pull the trigger…

It worked for a time, as I lost myself in the flow of the fight. Until I noticed the _blood_ dripping from my _blade_… Then I decided that maybe we had better stop wasting time and get where we were going… just as soon as I got the thick red liquid off my weapon.

Quistis was absolutely incredulous when I sat down on a rock in the freezing Trabian air, in the middle of a snowfield and pulled out my washcloth, but at least she refrained from commenting. I cleaned and polished the weapon until it shined, but… was it my imagination, or was it still faintly red? No. It had to be the light…

She seemed pleased when I began fleeing from encounters, but her previous expression returned when I began keeping pace with Selphie. In some way I couldn't define, I felt like I was being hunted.

In the end, it was still too slow for the small girl. Selphie ran out of patience and sprinted off. I got my wish, though at that moment I really didn't want it. I was in no mood to talk to Quistis about anything and she herself had barely spoken the whole trip. We wordlessly agreed to sprint after Selphie.

We caught up to her just as the walls of Trabia Garden came into view. Quistis gasped. We could see even from there that the walls were charred and blackened. Selphie was breathing hard, in almost convulsive sobs, but she didn't stop running and neither did we.

What was I supposed to do, pat her on the back and tell her it was all right? Because it certainly wasn't. For either of us. Perhaps I was exaggerating my own position, but… I felt so helpless…

As we paused at the crumbling remains of the main entrance, Quistis made to comfort Selphie, but just moved away to scan the pitted walls for some other point of ingress. She quickly found a likely spot and scaled the wall.

I hesitated. What lay behind the wall? Was there anything left? If it was all gone, would Selphie…?

"What, you're just going to _leave_ her there?" Quistis asked incredulously.

I sighed and began to climb the barrier as well.

Whatever had happened in there had happened. However Selphie reacted was none of my business. What was important here was the status of Trabia Garden and their willingness and capacity to fight Galbadia and the sorceress, our common enemy.

__

Liar. You know Trabia is hurt too badly to help. You're worried that Selphie might do something drastic. You don't want to lose anyone, even her.

Shut up! Leave me alone!

Great, now I'm talking to myself.

On the other side of the wall was a cracked and broken road. A figure in yellow was barely visible, running down the path.

"Hey, Squall!"

It was Irvine, Zell and Rinoa. I couldn't believe we hadn't noticed them running behind us - and they must have, to have arrived so close to our own arrival.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

I watched as they exchanged embarrassed glances.

"Oh, uh…they wanted a second group to come and uh… check the damage, figuring you would have your hands full with Selphie," Zell finally offered. He grinned sheepishly - he knew I wouldn't buy it for a second.

"Where is she, anyway?" Irvine asked, looking around. "Wasn't Selphie with you guys?"

"She ran off…" I said, pointing down the road.

"Hey, we'd better make sure she's alright!" Irvine said. He caught my eye and added, "So uh… then you guys could help us check the Garden!"

"Whatever," I said, but found my voice was overlaid with two others.

Quistis and Rinoa started giggling.

__

Great. It looks like Rinoa is taking lessons from the dear instructor.

"Don't you have something better to do?" I snapped.

"Yeah, I don't know how you two can laugh at a time like this!" Irvine put in. "We need to check on Selphie!"

He set off down the road and given the option of going with him or staying with those two girls, I soon followed the cowboy.

Surprisingly, a fair portion of the Garden was intact, if very dirty and cracked and chaotic. We found Selphie in what probably used to be the central square, talking to another dark-haired girl who seemed to be an old friend. I was surprised at the relief I felt when I saw Selphie grinning again. She turned around and spotted us. "Oh! This is our Commander, Squall and… um, Irvine Kinneas."

Irvine took his hat off and bowed to Selphie's friend, who looked us both up and down very deliberately and turned back to Selphie.

"Gee, Selphie, you catch all the studs."

I tried to ignore that, but I already felt my face heating.

"You never tell me about the hot guys in your life," she scolded Selphie, who giggled.

I could _feel _Irvine's self-indulgent smirk as he replaced his hat and pulled it over his face, but my skin was _burning_. I wished there were some dignified way to hide behind the taller man.

"Alright," the dark-haired girl said, rubbing her hands together. "Which one's yours?"

At that, Selphie stopped giggling and suddenly I wasn't the only one going red. "Um… I don't… uh… I mean…" She was actually bobbing up and down nervously. Her friend watched her reaction and glanced at Irvine, who smiled and winked back. The girl nodded and grinned, then focussed her attention on me.

"Oh, Selphie! This guy's sooo cute! Can I have him?"

It was the most awkward situation I could remember being in and Selphie didn't help one bit.

"Oh! _Squall_! Thank Hy… I mean _sure_ you ca… I mean…" She clapped a hand to her mouth and dissolved in embarrassed giggles.

"He isn't taken, is he?" her friend persisted.

"Yes, 'he' is," I snapped. "Twice over." I stormed off

"Wow, what's that supposed to mean?" I heard her ask Selphie as I left.

"You know, I have absolutely no idea," Selphie replied. "But that's pretty normal for Squall."

__

I can't believe I said that… Taken twice over…what did _I mean?_

On the one hand… well, obviously there was Rinoa. Everyone seemed to be trying to hook us up together, and despite our arguments and clashing personalities, I had to admit she was… and I… _had feelings_ for her. But… _twice_ over… What was this image of Quistis in green that kept sneaking into my mind? I hadn't actually taken that bloodstained letter seriously, had I? Still… it had been a fairly good mimicry of my own handwriting. And I suppose the differences could be explained by the story, however unlikely it was. But still… me and _Quistis? _I had never, and could never see myself going out with my Instructor. Granted, she wasn't an Instructor any more, but that was the way I'd been taught to see her. However she felt was none of my…

"Yo, Squall!"

I stopped and Zell came running up. "What is it?" I asked him.

"Well, Selphie said she's gonna look around a bit, then she'll meet us at the basketball courts. So that's where we're all going. Wanna come shoot some hoops while we're waitin'?"

I was a little surprised at the offer, but… "No thanks." I replied.

"Oh, okay," he said, sounding disappointed.

I opened my mouth and I realised with a jolt that I was actually considering asking Zell about girl trouble. Of all things and all people! Zell hadn't even realised how infatuated that library girl was with him until she followed him to Balamb just to give him a Combat King magazine. Even after his 'interview' with her friends - the 'Finding Out More About Zell' committee - and the time we discovered them comparing his answers in one of those matchmaking magazines, he still hadn't had a clue why she acted so odd around him!

Obviously, I changed my response. "Maybe later. I'm a little… tired right now."

"Oh, the Commander thing and all? Yeah, I guess it would get anyone a bit freaked after a while. Well, don't let it get to ya, man. Just remember…"

I rolled my eyes. "Let me guess. You want me to talk to all of you about it more?"

"Hell no!" Zell replied. "I probably wouldn't understand half of what you said, especially if you try to be all discreet about it or go at it sideways like that thing with Pa. I was just going to remind you to go to the basketball court. See ya!"

I couldn't help but laugh. No, Zell probably _wouldn't_ understand a lot of what I would talk about. Visions in my head? Messages from another plane of existence? Things like these would confuse anyone.

Zell was someone who got straight to the point, with no beating around the bush. Sometimes it was nice for someone to hand things to you plain and simple, rather than all this subtle hinting Rinoa and Quistis did so often.

I spent a while moving around the remains of the Garden under the pretense that I was checking the structural damage. What I was actually doing was following Selphie around, trying to judge her reaction to the whole thing. Eventually, I decided she had expected the worst-case scenario and so she was incredibly relieved to see people still _living_ in her former home. For the most part, she was her usual cheerful self again. For the other…

Still trailing her around the Garden, we headed for a clearing of sorts a little away from the busier areas. I had lost sight of her, but could hear snatches of her voice from a little to my right. I peered around the rocky outcrop and was greeted with a somber sight. Selphie was kneeling in the middle of a graveyard, talking in a low voice. There was no one else around. My face flushed and I moved back behind the rocks. It felt like a private moment, and I shouldn't be there. What was I doing here? I was Squall Leonhart. Other people intruded on _my_ privacy. I'd never willingly put myself in a position where I was the intruder before. Five months ago I had refused to listen to Quistis' problems; now I was practically hunting down any issues Selphie might have. Why was I doing this now?

__

Know your team members, I tried to tell myself. But there was a blindingly obvious fault in that, too. My _team members_? When had I started thinking of these people as _my_ team, accepting myself as the leader and accepting responsibility for the other members? I had never even included myself as part of a _team_ before. It had always been me… and everyone else. Sure, I was part of Garden and Hyne above, I was the _leader_ of Garden, but this felt so different. Why on earth, upon returning to Garden, had I kept the same five people by my side when there were dozens of SeeDs with better qualifications and experience than, say, Zell and Selphie, if perhaps not Quistis. Irvine wasn't even a full SeeD yet… and Rinoa? If someone had asked… and why _hadn't _anyone asked? …what possible reasoning could I give them for keeping Rinoa with me and not safe at Garden? That she was my client and as such I had responsibility for and to her? All the more reason for her to stay at Garden. No, the only explanation was that I felt a bond with each of them that I had chosen not to break.

That clinched it: I was doomed.

With a strange thrill, I turned to check on Selphie again…

But instead I found myself staring at two scraps of paper with my exact handwriting all over them.

I shook myself and looked around. Where was I? Oh yes, my dorm. Yes, my _cadet _dorm. I'd been hopelessly studying the two weird messages I'd received from… someone. Possibly myself. Except I seemed to recall being in a SeeD dorm just a few moments ago. I'd been …writing something? And there was a girl… she was cute, but I hadn't understood a thing she was saying. It certainly sounded like a dream.

I was at the window now. Strange… I didn't remember getting up from the desk… although there was also a hazy memory of writing something new on those two sheets I'd found. Why would I do that?

I returned to the desk, and yes, there was more on the pages, in the same scrawl that was not-quite mine:

I suspect this is a trick of some kind, but as I don't have a clue what's going on, I'm going to answer your questions. I seem to recall writing everything on these pages but I know for a fact that I haven't been near the infirmary in a long time, which makes the whole idea seem even more absurd. It's absolutely impossible.

I could tell that this guy had considered stopping then and there, but there was more:

My name is also Squall Leonhart and I am also seventeen, turning eighteen this month.

My mind suddenly woke from its daze. Eighteen this month! It was the same for me, and I hadn't told him when my own birthday was, so he couldn't possibly be copying my own details. If I was receiving messages from my future self, there could only be a matter of weeks seperating us at most. Although… he hadn't said _which_ month he was in at the moment…

I passed the annual SeeD exam in late March and the night of the ceremony was the same night I met Rinoa, as well as the night Quistis lost her Instructor status. Frankly, I find the notion of Quistis and you together completely ridiculous, as I never associated with Quistis until she became my Instructor.

I winced. He was right - it _would_ seem ridiculous. You just don't think of your Instructor that way. But I'd known Quistis for years…

Whatever feelings she may have for me are none of

It cut off there, and started again - it seemed he'd changed his mind about what to say.

She may have had feelings for me that night, but five months is a long time; even if she did, things change.

As for whether I am from your future, I doubt it. If you are to be believed, we are both seventeen. I have never even _thought_ about going out with Quistis, and I won't change my mind before my birthday. Also, I've never heard of a SeeD Exam being postponed for months on end. The Headmaster wouldn't approve.

The last line read:

I think I may have upset your Quistis. If so, I apologise.

I leaned back in the chair, stunned and confused. Five months from his SeeD Exam in March meant that today's date for him was also August. I'd been right. But he was right, too. He couldn't possibly be part of my future or past… we seemed to be in two different situations. So what in Hyne's name was going on?

As for the last line, I guess I'd find out just how upset 'my' Quistis was this evening. Speaking of which…

I checked the clock, and sighed. Time for detention. I stood and stretched, making a mental note to ask about Squall's birthdate. There would be plenty of time to think while we were doing whatever dull chore we had been assigned to.

**__**

Yeah, right, Squall. Like there's ever plenty of time to think. Oh, you have no idea what you're in for… heh heh heh…What? The readers are here? OH!

Um, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Can I plead temporary insanity? (snorts, muffled laughter)

Well, that's another chapter. Rather shorter than most others, I admit, but I needed to make room for the next one… you'll see what I mean.

AUTHORS:

RustificatedID (nice name)

Kouryuu (yess… pity the Selphie…)

Darksquall (believable? Thank Hyne)

Solarwind Starfire (I'm telling you, finish the story!)

Vick330 (character personalities… that's a relief. But are they unique personalities?)

ANONYMITES:

White Crescent (Um, how much does Selphie remind you of Fujin? Because I really hope I haven't just switched people's personalities…)

Dark Phoenix

So… Everyone… Put an R over here and an R over there and an R in your ear… um, that might hurt. How big is a rutabaga?

Draic

This chapter was brought to you by "Stop" and "Alone", delicacies by kouryuu

Under-your-skin, psychological poetry found at fictionpress.net

http:?storyid=653554

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	7. Special Chewing Gum

__

Disclaimer: I stand by my previous statement: Everyone knows that no single person owns FF8, so of course I don't, either.

****

Alternate Fantasy

****

By Draic

Chapter Seven: Special Chewing Gum

The elevator doors closed and the world outside rose. Possibly because I was going down… Either way, I emerged in the eerie blue world of the MD level. Not my favourite place to spend the evening. It was originally intended as the living quarters of an important Shumi, a race of people that lived underground. No one I knew understood why the Shumi hadn't come to Garden or why he was asked to come in the first place. But now the MD level was a storage area. Boxes were piled everywhere and sheets of paper, plastic containers and bits of metal were strewn all over the place. Not for the first time, I wondered how they'd brought all this junk down here in that tiny elevator.

"Hello?" I called.

Seifer's head poked up out of a box. Or possibly from behind the box. "Oh, hey, Squall. We're all over here."

I wove a path between boxes and found a cleared space where Quistis and Selphie were sitting. Selphie wore her cadet uniform, a sharp contrast to Quistis' ribbons. On the other hand, I was still wearing my own cadet uniform. In disgust, I realised I'd been wearing the same clothes since my memory problem, three days ago. I didn't smell too bad, but the first chance I got I was taking a shower.

Selphie looked up, smiled sweetly and asked, "Sleep well, Squall?"

I ignored her and sat next to Quistis, who casually stood and crossed over to help Seifer take down a few boxes. I sighed. _Yes, Squall, Quistis is just a tad upset._

"So what exactly are we doing?" I asked. Selphie snorted and Quistis didn't look at me.

When Seifer finally noticed this, he said, "We're taking inventory."

"For how long?"

"Until it's done," Selphie snapped.

Wow. This was not going to be much fun for any of us.

"What are the rest of you doing?"

"I'm checking and labelling the boxes, Selphie is checking the last records from like 1000 years ago…"

"Funny, that. The Garden was only created 14 years ago."

Seifer ignored me and for a wonder, Selphie didn't take the opportunity to jeer at me.

"Selphie is checking the records and Quistis is…"

"Moping," Selphie said nastily. "She's all upset because her precious Squally was having a f--"

She was interrupted by a plastic container shooting past her ear, soon to be followed by a deflated basketball that smacked the girl on the side of the face and stuck there with a distinctive PTTHP sound.

Selphie jumped to her feet and peeled the rubber from her face. "You little bitch!"

"Look who's talking." Quistis shot back, her eyes icy to Selphie's fire.

Selphie clenched her fists and stepped forward. "Alright, you f--"

This time, Quistis herself flew through the air at the shorter girl. Seifer and I could only gape as she tackled the brunette and drove her into a stack of boxes. There were a series of grunts, shrieks and curses, then the unmistakable glow of magic shone from among the boxes. A blast of air ripped through the room, gathering all the paper and sending it soaring around our heads like snow. Boxes tumbled and the contents spilled out all over the floor. The next thing we knew, there was a fountain of water spurting out in all directions. My first hysterical thought was _SAVE THE PAPER!!!!_

Seifer seemed to be thinking more clearly and he yelled to me "Cast Reflect on yourself!"

I understood - basic SeeD training: protect yourselves, then eliminate the threat. The green glow of Reflect surrounded us and we advanced on the lair of the screaming banshees. As one, we threw off the top layer of boxes and cast our own magic:

"Silence!"

"Break!"

The noise stopped, except for the steady _drip, drip_ of the water. Seifer and I continued to clear a space around the frozen women until they were clear of the debris.

We could only stare at the bizarre sculpture of the two intertwined figures. Selphie had a firm grip on Quistis' hair and had the other hand shoved hard against her face. Quistis had a handful of Selphie's top and had managed to find the basketball again, having been caught with it only a few inches from Selphie's face. Together we heaved them to an upright position, but after a few unsuccessful attempts we realised they wouldn't balance that way and had to lean them against a wall. We couldn't even separate them. Their eyes followed our movements - the only part of them able to move.

"Now," Seifer began, barely containing his laughter. "Do you promise to behave?"

In unison, both girls rolled their eyes. They couldn't answer, of course.

"Okay, Squall… do the honours," he instructed.

"What? Um… I don't have any Esuna…"

"Soft? Echo Screen? Remedy? Dispel!?"

"…"

"You're joking!?"

The girls' eyes were bulging.

"Where's yours, then?" I countered.

"…"

"Yeah, so don't complain about _me_ having no healing items or magic if _you_ don't."

I was pretty sure Quistis had fainted. It was hard to tell - the only difference was that her eyes were glassy.

We emptied our pockets and came up with one, single bottle of Soft.

"Uhhh..." I commented.

"Who do we use it on?"

"Quistis!"

"Why?"

"…because, uh…she has healing magic!" It _was_ true - at least, I thought it was true - but that hadn't been my real reason… I would always prefer a fully-functional, angry Quistis over Selphie.

"Oh. Okay, then."

"But…"

"What?"

"She's unconscious…"

"Oh."

"…"

"Slap her!" Seifer suggested.

"What?"

"To wake her up!" I stared at him.

"Uhh… I'd rather _you_ did it…"

"Oh, okay."

Seifer moved over to Quistis, leaning at an odd angle on the wall. Her eyes were still glassy. He drew his hand back and slapped her hard across her cheek. Her petrified, stone-hard cheek.

"Owwww!" Seifer yelped, holding his hand.

"Seifer… I meant _after_ you use Soft."

"Oh. Right."

He poured the Soft over her head and watched it trickle over her features, restoring her original colour.

The basketball dropped from her hand and she sagged against the stone Selphie, causing them both to fall crashing to the floor once more.

"Sorry, Sel…"

It was hard without being able to narrow her eyes, but I swear Selphie was _glaring_ at us.

We pulled her back up again, propped her up with a few boxes and then we discovered another problem…

"Squall…"

"Yeah?"

"Selphie can't let go of Quistis' hair…"

"What, so she's _stuck _like that?"

"…"

I swear that now Selphie was smiling. Freaky.

"We could cut her hair…" Seifer suggested.

"What!? Are you CRAZY!? Do you know how much Quistis loves her hair? She'll go ballistic!"

"Well, then we'll just have to leave her how she is."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"…So slap her already!"

"Oh, yeah, right."

He crouched down, pulled back his good hand and slapped Quistis across the other cheek. Her eyes and mouth flew open, but she said nothing.

"Wow. She took that pretty well," he commented.

She bit him.

"OWWW!" he yelled, leaping up and rubbing his hand.

"Quistis! What did you do that for!?"

She rolled her eyes.

__

Oh…

"Seifer… she's still Silenced."

"So?"

"We needed her to heal Selphie."

"So?"

I stared at him. Quistis stared at him. Selphie stared at him.

"Oh."

He stared at the floor, then looked up suddenly.

"We could search her."

"What?"

"For healing items."

We stared at Quistis.

"Where would she keep them?" I wondered. "She doesn't have any pockets…"

"You never asked her?"

I scratched my head. "Not exactly, no."

"Then we'd need to frisk her."

"_Frisk_ her?"

"Yeah, frisk her. You know, when you…"

"I know! But… _frisk_ her!?"

We turned to Quistis. She attempted to crawl away, but could barely move due to the stone hand enclosed around her hair – not to mention the weight of Selphie herself.

I kneeled in front of Quistis.

"Quistis, do you have any healing items?"

She didn't respond.

"Quistis, will you please heal Selphie?"

She shook her head.

"Please?"

She shook her head again and stuck her tongue out.

"Quistis, if you don't heal Selphie we're going to need to…"

"FRISK you," Seifer supplied.

Her eyes went wide.

"Where do you keep your items, Quistis?"

She waved me away. I understood, and turned around.

"Turn around, Seifer."

"…"

"Turn around!"

"I am, okay!? Jeez…"

"Okay, you can turn around again," Quistis said.

She was standing away from Selphie and glaring at her. Selphie's hand was moving, making rude signs at Quistis. It was the only mobile part of her body.

"Quistis, are you going to free more of Selphie than just her hand?"

"No," she replied calmly.

"Don't make me make Seifer…" I warned her

"Frisk…" Seifer said.

"No," she repeated

"Screw this," said Seifer, and lunged for Quistis, pinning her against the wall.

"It's now or never, Quistis," I commented.

"Look, Sel's stuck over there like a statue," Seifer told me. "I'm not going to waste time asking her if she's just going to be so stuck-up about it."

Seifer frisked Quistis.

"Ugh," said Quistis, and slapped him.

"Believe me, that was as horrible for me as it was for you."

"Hey!" she said, offended. She would have slapped him again if he hadn't ducked away.

"Seifer… you just frisked her…"

"Yeah, that was the idea. And I've found a bottle of Soft and I can use it on Selphie."

"SEIFER! You just FRISKED my GIRLFRIEND!"

"Umm… you don't sound too happy."

I lunged for Seifer. Seifer lunged for Selphie. I tackled Seifer, and the bottle of Soft smashed against Selphie's stomach. The liquid ran down her lower body, leaving her upper half still frozen.

"Damn!" Seifer shouted.

"Squall, stop fighting with Seifer," Quistis said.

"Huh? But I was… defending… your… honour…?"

"How nice. But Instructor Segal will be down here to check at any moment and everything is worse off than when we started! Stop fighting with Seifer and help me clean up."

"Yeah, fine, whatever." I turned to Seifer. "Umm… sorry."

Seifer was staring at Selphie. "Quistis, do you have any more Softs?"

"No, sorry." She didn't sound too sorry, but I instinctively knew that she was telling the truth.

"But if Kiros comes down and sees Selphie like this…"

"Turn her upside down," I suggested.

"Excuse me?"

"Turn her upside down. Whatever's left of the liquid will run back up her body and free her upper half."

"Sorry, Sel, but it looks like I'm gonna have to do this."

Seifer heaved the girl over so her head was touching the floor and her legs were sticking up in the air. With her free hand, she held her skirt up.

After this experience, her SeeD uniform included a pair of the male trousers.

Quistis began gathering the scattered sheets of paper together, while I scrounged around until I found a mop, putting it to good use. Seifer was still trying to keep Selphie vertical. My idea had worked and the Soft was slowly freeing Selphie's upper body as well.

"Well, it doesn't look like you've done much clean-- Seifer! What are you doing with Selphie?!"

We spun around - Seifer nearly dropping Selphie in the process - and there was Instructor Segal, staring at Seifer suspiciously. I hoped he couldn't see that Selphie's face was grey - she was in shadow and the Soft was starting to trickle down her face, so maybe…

"Umm…" Seifer said, panicking. "We were… practicing… uh… Gymnastics!"

"Gymnastics," Kiros said flatly.

While his attention was elsewhere, I tried quickly and discreetly to mop up the last of the water, then hid the mop behind what must have been the last stack of boxes remaining upright.

"Yeah, gymnastics," Quistis supplied.

"And why are you practicing gymnastics?"

"Oh… we're practicing gymnastics because… we… got cramps and needed to stretch!"

"By doing… headstands."

"…"

Selphie shook free of Seifer and stood up the right way. Her hair was a tinge grey, her spikes bent by the weight of her stone tips.

"Well, it worked. Selphie's feeling much less numb now, aren't you, Selphie?"

Mistake. Selphie was still silenced.

She nodded vigorously.

"Is something wrong, Selphie?" Kiros asked.

She shook her head vigorously.

"… I see."

"Oh, I think Selphie must still have mouth cramps," I said, trying to get the others to realise she was Silenced before they said something stupid.

"_Mouth_ cramps?" Kiros asked. I winced. _And you thought you could stop the others from saying something stupid? Just shut up now, Squall._

"Yeah," Quistis supplied. "Mouth cramps. Ever since we came down here, she's just been jabbering on and on and on and on and on and--"

"Well how about we give her some of that special chewing gum, Quistis?" I interrupted.

"Huh?"

"You do have some of that SPECIAL CHEWING GUM, don't you, Quistis? For her MOUTH CRAMPS?"

"Oh. Yes. Here is the special chewing gum, Squall." I grabbed the item that Quistis was concealing behind her hand.

"Thank you for the special chewing gum, Quistis. I'll just take it to Selphie."

I moved over to Selphie, who was wearing a ghastly smile.

"Here, Selphie, have some special chewing gum." I stood in front of her to block Kiros' view, and gave her the tube of Echo Screen. She squirted half the tube in her mouth and quickly rubbed some on her neck. I took the tube and stepped back, stepping all the way back to behind Seifer, where I could safely shove the tube in my pocket.

"Is that special chewing gum working, Selphie?" Kiros asked.

She looked sick. I doubt she was paying any attention to anything outside her own mouth.

"Selphie, Instructor Kiros just asked you if the special CHEWING gum was working," Seifer reminded.

Selphie got the hint and tried hard to look like she was chewing on the cream.

"Hey, I could use some of that gum during my lectures. Could you spare some?" Kiros asked.

Everyone looked at me for some reason. I was still hiding behind Seifer.

"We… don't have any more!" I said, peeking out from behind the taller man. He stepped on my foot, murmuring, "You look like a five-year-old", so in my nerves I practically leapt away from him.

"Well, what's it called, then?" Kiros asked, giving me a strange look in return for my unprecedented jumping practice.

"… I don't know!" I cried.

"You don't know? How can you not know?" he persisted.

"Uhh… Because… Because it's QUISTIS' gum!"

Everyone looked at Quistis.

"Yeah, but I borrowed it from Seifer!"

Everyone looked at Seifer.

"I bought it from Selphie!"

Everyone looked at Selphie. _Shit. We gotta stop doing that!_

"…"

"Is this true, Selphie?"

"…"

"Selphie, you're going to have to tell him," I warned.

"Is it your gum, Selphie?"

"…Yesh…"

A glob of cream shot from her mouth onto the floor.

Seifer quickly stepped on it.

"You, uh, have to spit it out once your done, sir, because it… it…"

"Is really no good for your digestion," Quistis put in.

"Oh really? So what is it called, Selphie?"

"…" She shrugged.

"She hasn't thought of a name yet, sir." We stared at him in shock, and his wide eyes told us he really hadn't meant to say that aloud.

"Ahh… that is… because… she MADE the special chewing gum," he corrected himself. We sighed in relief.

"Oh, she did, did she?"

"Isn't that against Garden code?" Quistis asked, then clapped a hand to her mouth in horror. She really couldn't have helped herself, could she?

"Not according to Line 5 Paragraph 6 under Code 62B," I said, randomly making up numbers.

"Students should keep to their own bed?" Kiros asked, confused.

"Uhh… maybe I'm a little rusty…" I muttered. _How could he know the entire school code?_

"Anyway, Selphie, can I borrow or buy some?"

She looked horrified. Technically, she had already spat out her gum and no longer had an excuse not to talk. We watched in fascination as she _swallowed_ half a tube of Echo Screen.

"…euhhhh…"

"I think that was the last of it, sir," Seifer said.

"Oh, what a pity. When are you making more?"

"No… time… soon," she said hoarsely.

"Not until we check up on the Garden Code, anyway, sir," I put in.

"Good idea. Well, as I came down here to check your progress, I should do just that."

__

Ohhh, great.

Kiros walked around the room. "Hmm… Looks much the same as it was last time I came down here. At least you haven't made a mess. What's this? Has someone been mopping?"

"Uh… yes, sir," I admitted.

"Why?"

"Because it was dirty, sir?"

"I see. Isn't it customary to remove all objects in the room and mop the _whole_ floor at once?"

"Yes, sir."

"So why didn't you do that?"

"…Temporary insanity, sir?" I pleaded.

"Yes, there seems to be a lot of that going around lately," he said, looking around at all of us. "Hmmm… Well, I'll tell you what. You four go up and get something to eat, and then you can come back down here and finish up. How does that sound?"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Great!"

"…ack…"

"Alright. Good luck with your job, I guess."

And he _finally_ left us alone, getting into the elevator. We all slumped against the walls, laughing and crying in hysterical relief. We actually made a pretty good team - when we weren't at each other's throats. But… as the elevator rose, I was sure I could hear the Instructor's own laughter.

He couldn't have just been toying with us all along, could he? Surely not…

I shook it off and we went to have dinner.

**__**

See what I meant? There wasn't time for Squall to think during that 'dull chore', now was there? Seriously, this was never an intended part of the storyline. They just came down for detention and went nuts for six pages. I tried to stop them! Or not. But it was amazing how it just seemed to happen without me needing to be part of it. Okay, so it's a comedy sketch, not a blockbuster musical, but I was pretty impressed!

AUTHORS:

Ayako

ShadowsOfDeath (!!! …Scary)

Ashbear (really, how hard is it to see Squall and Quistis together? Especially seeing as they're not themselves! But I really like your review!)

Kouryuu (lol, that's the plan)

Lady-Mage Firebreeze (wow, your review is almost as long as mine are! Yes, I also love Squall's psychology)

Solarwind Starfire (Write the damn - oh, I'm funny am I? In that case, you're excused.)

Lil Angel

FloralBlackMoon (yeah, the switching is the hardest part to write simply. What can I do?)

Quall Goddess (thanks for coming back!)

Rodi Hanc

Optical Goddess (yeah, it had been a year since I updated. Shame! I'll try not to do it again…)

CuteMooglez (Dream sequence gone! Boom! No more confusion! Well… less confusion…)

Faery-of-fiction (gosh, you are like the ideal reader - you get excited about all the things I wrote the story to do!)

ANONYMITES:

Jaded Fury (Ellone is now gone. It is good. Are you happy?)

Hwoarang/Xiaoyu (How should I know what's going on?)

AW

White Crescent (AAAH! You're an anonymite! What happened? And glad to provide inspiration)

Dark Phoenix

Once again, thanks to everyone who bothers to read this stuff, more thanks for all the people who bother to review, and thank Hyne for the people who tell me that something just doesn't make sense! I need to hear these things.

Now, boys and girls, does anyone remember the three R's? "Read!" That's right, Tommy! "Review!" Good work, Jane! What about you, Sussinfruss? "Uh… Rutabaga?" (Teacher bursts into tears and goes to sit sobbing in the corner - she had repressed memories - don't ask…)

Draic

This chapter is proudly brought to you by "Understanding", a White Crescent endeavour.

This is a very cool fanfic, from the point of view of Angelo. Very sweet.

(So devour it!)

http:?storyid=399359

****


	8. Memoreal

__

Disclaimer: FF8 claims I don't own it. I claim FF8 doesn't own me…

****

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Eight: Memoreal

Julia Caraway smiled as her daughter came running from the doors of the mansion where they lived. Julia lived for her little girl, and loved to take her for outings such as this. But whether they went to the theatre (as was their destination this night) or the zoo or the museum, the only things that the 28-year-old woman saw were the expressions of amazement and wonder that lit up her daughter's face and warmed her own heart.

Rinoa nearly stumbled over the hem of her pretty new blue dress, embroidered by hand with pink and white flowers. "You shouldn't run so fast," Julia called out, but her teeth flashed in a smile. She opened the passenger door of the car, but Rinoa launched herself at her mother, wrapping her arms around the woman's legs and getting tangled in the long red gown her mother wore.

"Come on, Rinoa, we're going to have a wonderful adventure tonight, but not if you don't get it the car," her mother cajoled as she disentangled her daughter from her skirts. Rinoa giggled and leapt into the car with one gigantic jump. Julia walked around the front of the car and stepped into the driver's seat somewhat more gracefully, then leaned over to do up Rinoa's seatbelt.

"I'm a princess tonight, Mama!" the little girl decreed, and squealed with delight as her mother tickled her nose.

"You certainly are, Princess Rinoa," Julia replied. She turned back and twisted the key in the ignition.

"Is Daddy coming this time?"

The car stalled.

"N…no, honey," Julia managed, flashing her daughter an apologetic smile, which faded as she looked ahead through the windscreen. "He's…"

__

Working, studying, filing, in a meeting, military inspection, training, recruitment, on a diplomatic mission, business with the President, formal dinner, expected to be there, the President needs to be seen to have the full backing of the military, cannot turn him down, Rinoa will understand, she's only four for Hyne's sake, she wouldn't know if I was there or not.

"…He's busy," she finished, as the engine roared to life.

"Oh," said Rinoa, and turned to look out the window at the passing trees. Julia had to force herself not to stop the car and take her daughter in her arms right then and there, and cry to her that everything was going to be all right. If only someone would return the favour.

"Hey, come on now, Rinoa. Your father has an extra special surprise waiting for you when you get back…" _Assuming the poor thing's still alive. _"…and we always have fun together, don't we?"

"Yeah," Rinoa admitted, and slumped back into her seat. Julia reached over with one hand to give her daughter's a squeeze.

"So have you had a good birthday?" Julia asked, glancing over to her passenger, who didn't reply. "Rinoa?"

"What?" the girl asked, jumping a little in her seat and turning to look wide-eyed at her mother.

"Are you enjoying your birthday?" Julia repeated, watching Rinoa anxiously in the mirror. Was she feeling alright?

"Oh. Yeah!" Rinoa replied, and her impish grin slipped back onto her face, to her mother's relief.

"And how old are you again?" the older woman prompted.

"I'm five now!" Rinoa replied, one hand held with fingers spread above her head, as she strained to reach the roof.

"Really?" her mother cried, acting shocked. "You can't be five already, can you?"

"Yeah!" Rinoa reminded her, outraged and giggling, "I've been five all day!"

Julia added her own soft laughter to Rinoa's higher squeals. "I think you're right, my angel. You're-"

There was a movement in the side of Julia's vision, and a sudden breeze whipped her hair over her face. She pulled it back into place with one hand and glanced over at her daughter. The door on the passenger side was open and Rinoa was leaning out the gap. As Julia watched in horror, Rinoa leapt from the car.

"No! Rinoa!"

Julia slammed her foot down on the brakes, and a truck lurched out of the darkness. The tyres squealed horribly as Julia swerved to one side. The impact ripped through the car and it's lone occupant…

The car horn screamed through the darkness; the woman inside lay unmoving against the steering wheel.

**__**

Mmm-hmmm. Hands up who spotted the differences? All will be revealed… in time… heh heh heh. So here goes!

AUTHORS:

Lucentia (thank you!)

Cute Mooglez (you make me smile J )

Quall Goddess (like the new Squall better? Heresy! If you mean the way I write them, that's okay.)

Vick330 (That's exactly right. Different timelines, not completely AU)

ANONYMITES

Kitty (AAH! Anonymite! Um, sorry, it's not your fault. Oh, simple answer to your problem: it didn't happen. Whole dream sequence was wrong and bad. So it's not there anymore)

Sidheranma (yes, I still live… probably)

Dark Phoenix (Roneo? Yeah, it does sound like ice-cream. Dunno why…)

Squall's gal (Aichie! Woah, I can't believe I didn't notice that! Thanks for pointing it out - all fixed up now.)

Thanks a lot, guys! Watch out for the next few chapters - some nasty twists coming up. In the meantime, the 3Rs! Read, Review, and… "DON'T SAY IT!!! AAAARRGHH!!" (Sorry, miss teacher person)

Draic

Now, this chapter - THIS chapter, is proudly represented by Ashbear's "Castles In The Sky"

A wonderful place for an exciting, refreshing, dramatic and romantic getaway.

(Go there. Go there now)

http:?storyid=276798

And also by Dark Phoenix's "Leave of Absence"

A story for people who don't really write stories.

(Yeah. Just you try to find it)


	9. Dust

__

Disclaimer: _What can I say? Except that I'm not a highly respected gaming company that must make millions from their work. I just write stories about their games. Maybe some of the success will brush off on me._

****

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Nine: Dust

I was watching a scene unfold at a cemetary. There was a girl in yellow talking to the headstones. It was cold. _Where am I?_ I thought, rubbing my arms. Looking down at the heavy black jacket I wore, I corrected myself. _Where is _he_?_

"I finally got to play in my own band," the girl said softly, and with a start I realised it was Selphie. I moved slightly to get a better view and with another jolt I realised she was crying. Selphie, crying, but with an oddly bright smile on her face. Now _that_ was something.

__

Ooh, you're so insensitive, Squall!

I backed up and looked around guiltily as I recalled Quistis' words. No-one here but me. _Hang on, there was something I wanted to ask this guy…_

I bent down and scratched letters in the snow. _You don't see snow like this in_ _Balamb,_ I thought as I wrote.

Hang on…What was I writing?

I stood up and stepped back.

Squall: Is your birthday the 23rd of Au

I shook my head in amazement. The 'other one' had obviously been here. But why did he want to know my birthday?

The sound of crunching footsteps broke into my thoughts. Selphie was returning. I hastily scrubbed out the writing and fled back to the Garden as quickly and quietly as possible.

I leaned against a wall and tried to look casual as Selphie approached. She was greeted by a young woman and a little girl. The smile was instantly back on Selphie's face and both girls received tight hugs. The woman spoke to her and the girl tugged on Selphie's skirt, jumping up and down. When she leaned over, the girl whispered something in her ear and pointed towards me. Selphie looked over at me and waved, a knowing smile playing on her face.

I nodded back and cleared my throat, embarrassed. Had the little girl seen me following Selphie? I pushed away from the wall and hurried away to look for the basketball court.

Everyone else was there already, waiting for Selphie. I caught Zell's murmuring. "Man, what's taking her so long?"

I looked at him, surprised. 'So long?' But we had only been here for…

I squinted in the direction of the sun, checking the time.

…Three hours!? Had I actually spent the greater part of three hours stalking Selphie, watching her dealing with her grief and bursting into tears one minute and laughing at jokes the next? I must have been in worse condition than I thought.

__

I'd better go get her, or we'll never get home.

I moved to go, when a basketball came flying out of nowhere. I barely caught it before it hit me in the stomach. I stared at the orange rubber and suddenly found in the depths of my mind an image of Quistis attacking Selphie with a flat basketball. There was no way _that_ was part of my reality.

I let the ball drop from my hands and roll over to rest at Selphie's feet. I hadn't even noticed her join us.

"Hey, take me with you when you fight the sorceress, okay? I want to get my revenge."

__

That sounds like something 'Sel' would say, I thought with a smile, then spent the next few moments trying to work out who I'd ever heard give Selphie that nickname.

"Umm… I've been thinking… Do we really have to fight?"

__

What?

Rinoa was standing there, addressing all of us but looking at me.

"I don't understand, Rinoa," I told her. "You are part of a resistance movement. Unlike other people who were all talk, you took to your weapons and fought. And now you don't want to do that any more?"

The others were getting upset; confused. They didn't understand why Rinoa didn't want to have to fight. I wasn't sure I did, either. We were SeeDs, after all. We had been trained since an early age to be fighters - soldiers, mercenaries. It often seemed like we killed for a living, harsh as it sounded. But at the same time, we saved many lives. Why wouldn't Rinoa want to do the same?

I tuned back in to the conversation. "…When we get into battle, everyone's tempo seems to pick up… and I get left behind."

__

She's not a SeeD, I reminded myself. _She hasn't had a decade of training and conditioning to be able to fight, to kill. Yet she does it anyway. All this time, she has been playing by her own choices. Because of the way we were raised, we didn't have too many choices. But she made the decision to come along with us. To do things she hasn't been prepared for, that she wasn't ready for. She lost her innocence all at once, not gradually like the rest of us._

I suddenly felt a rush of emotion for the lost angel. She had been so strong during all of this, masquerading as a fully qualified SeeD and paying the consequences in silence.

"Rinoa, I understand." It wasn't me who said it, however much I wanted to. It was Irvine.

"When I was 4 or 5 or so, I lived at an orphanage…"

And piece by piece, our pasts were revealed.

Thirteen years ago, we had lived in an orphanage by the sea. Irvy, Sefie, Quisty, Zell, Seifer, and me. Squally. Even the mysterious Ellone was revealed as Sis, the last person I could stand to lose. The orphanage had been run by…

"Matron's full name is Edea Kramer," Irvine announced, and nodded to the gasps. "Yes. Matron is Sorceress Edea."

__

So that's why he was so shaky during the assassination. He knew_ that Edea was the one who raised us all. He knew… and he still worked up the courage to shoot her. He must have been so relieved when it didn't work... it is so much easier to forget who and what it is you're fighting when you're in the heat of close combat…_

My respect for the girl-chasing cowboy went up a notch.

"…We may have to fight Matron, whom we all love very much. But I don't mind. It's not as though I drifted here on the tides of fate."

__

That makes sense, I guess… I wonder what changed his mind?

"So I understand what you're saying, Rinoa. But I still say we fight. Hey, at least it'll keep us together a little longer."

__

Keep us together? I looked around at our little group. Yes, after this was over, we'd be split up again, wouldn't we? Of course, Squall. What did you expect?

"Squall? What do you say?"

__

…No.

No, I… I can't take that now. I need… I want to stay with these guys… I… whatever it takes to keep us together…

"Rinoa, it's up to you," I said, not directly answering the question. "I think the rest of us are going to fight. It's the only way we can move on with our lives."

__

Move on? Aren't I just hanging on to my past? …but I'm sure Rinoa doesn't see it that way…

"If that makes any sense to you at all… come with us," I told her. "I'm sure that's what everyone wants."

They all nodded and murmured their agreement.

"… Alright," she replied softly.

"Good," I said, genuinely relieved. "We'd better get going now. We don't want to miss Garden."

The others moved off, but Rinoa stopped and turned to face me.

"Squall…"

"Yes?"

She reached for her necklace. "Look, I just wan… to s… that I…"

Her voice was fading in and out and my vision was blurring. I felt sick.

"Rinoa…"

No answer.

"Rinoa? Rinoa!"

"Squall! Wake up, you lazy git!"

I jolted upright. Someone was shaking me, shouting into my ear. I was in the cafeteria. The _other_ cafeteria.

"Shit!" I swore.

"I'll say. I can't believe you actually fell asleep in your plate!"

I turned around and glared, until I realised it was Selphie; she had her hair pulled back, where it exploded in a mass of spikes. _Okay, I haven't seen that before…_

Then I realised what she'd said, reached up, sighed, and began picking food out of my hair.

"Are we cleaning up again?" I asked. _Here we go: Othersquall's returning._

She rolled her eyes. "Well, what do you expect?"

She actually sounded almost friendly.

"By the way, you have gravy in your ear."

She ran off, leaving me to clean out my ear with a napkin. Then, remembering his question, I picked up another napkin, wrote 'Yes, 23rd August' on it with my- his pencil and shoved it in his pocket. Then I returned his tray to the cafeteria benches, and wandered out of the room and along the hallway, hoping the owner of this body would come back soon. In the meantime, I decided to find the bathroom and get the rest of this gunk out of his ears.

I took the elevator down, briefly wondering what had made Selphie so happy. Then I frowned. That _had_ been a memory from my world, hadn't it? It was getting a little hard to tell.

"Finally," Seifer commented as I entered the clearing again.

"I _did_ have to wash the food out of my hair and ears," I protested.

"Well we were waiting long enough," he replied, but couldn't hide his amusement.

"We weren't going to start breaking our backs until you were here to break yours, too." Selphie put in.

"Thanks ever so much."

Quistis said nothing. She was organising various objects from the floor into piles. She didn't look much like she wanted to talk, either. I sighed. I thought we'd be okay now, since she'd actually been talking to me during the whole chewing gum thing, but I guess I was wrong.

"Squall, can you come help me with these boxes?" Seifer asked.

"Yeah, sure."

We worked in silence for a while, until I heard someone whistling. It was Selphie.

"Why's she in such a good mood?" I whispered to Seifer.

"She heard that the Headmaster is going to send SeeDs to…" He stopped and looked at me. "She didn't want me to tell anyone… you'll find out soon enough, anyway. I heard they're setting the SeeD exam there, too."

"What? The SeeD exam? Where?"

"In… No, I can't tell you."

"…Fine."

We stacked a few more boxes.

"Hey, what happened to you during the Reflect tournament?"

"… I fell asleep."

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "Really? I somehow failed to notice that."

I don't know why, but I didn't feel comfortable letting word out that I was allergic to Sleep magic. Knowing some of the people living in Garden, they would tend to take advantage of it. I suppose Kiros would call it 'hiding your weaknesses'. Whatever the reason, I wasn't just going to tell Seifer. "I guess it was just a really strong spell," I said. "Uh… Selphie's pretty good with magic…"

"Yeah, she is. There was one time she cast a Silence spell on me and I… well, I don't really want to talk about what happened… that _week_."

I laughed, and he joined in. "So how did the tournament end?" I asked him. "I _was_ blacked out for the last of it…"

"Well, after you went down, I got attacked by this really shy girl who hangs out in the library. She was Beserked, and she looked like a demon. It was even worse because you never see her angry at all, and she was shrieking and snarling and just about frothing at the mouth. While I was trying to fend her off, the guy I was facing Blinded me, and I ended up trying to ward off this crazy library girl when I couldn't even _see_ her. Then-"

"Hang on, wasn't Quistis Zombied? Or was I already delusional?"

"Oh yeah, it was really freaky. The first sight I had when they used the Eye Drops was Quistis staring at me, face all green, and drooling."

"Drooling?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah!" Seifer replied. "I know they claim that you still have your own mind while you're Zombied, but I swear Quistis was trying to eat me… I'm bet I could find the bite marks to prove it."

I held my hands up in mock terror. "Please don't. I couldn't handle the truth."

He grinned. "Anyway, the guy who had been fighting me was the only one left in the tournament other than Selphie, so they had to duke it out. He was really smart - he kept his shield topped up almost before it wore out. He kept up a steady stream of spells and had Selphie on her toes. But Selphie was playing hard, too. She would cast a spell, then get in behind him and cast another. She almost got him when she accidentally Beserked that library girl again…"

__

Probably did it on purpose…

"The guy got distracted, and she had her chance then, but he'd only turned to cast Esuna on the girl. He knew he didn't have to worry about her after that, so he turned back in time to dodge Selphie's spell. They ended up circling eachother, both hiding behind a new Reflect… and then he got her."

"How!?" I asked.

"He knew she wasn't going to let her shield down and he knew by now that she wasn't going to fall for any tricks. So he prepared a spell…"

He waved his hands dramatically.

"…and cast in on himself! He was safe behind his own Reflect and since it had already been Reflected by his own shield, hers wouldn't work. It was at such short range that Selphie didn't have a chance to avoid it and next thing you know, she'd been Stopped. She was really mad once we healed her and she found out what had happened."

"Wow. So who was the guy?"

"Oh… I don't remember his name… Hey, Selphie! What's the name of the guy who beat you yesterday?"

The whistling abruptly stopped and there was suddenly a container hurtling towards Seifer's face.

"Yaaah!" he cried, barely catching it before it hit him.

I doubled over, laughing.

"Irvine."  
Quistis' voice cut off my laughter as effectively as if she'd used a guillotine. I straightened and stared at her back, as she was still facing away from the rest of us.

"What?"

"The guy's name was Irvine," she said over her shoulder.

__

Irvine…

"When I was 4 or so…"

"I can't do it, dammit!"

"Is it true SeeD aren't supposed to question their orders?"

"I might be there later with a certain someone."

"Except for Rinoa, we were all there."

"An orphanage by the sea."

"Squall?" Seifer called, waving a hand in front of my eyes. "You look really spooked. You know this Irvine guy?"

"Yes." I replied. "No. Maybe…" What had just happened? It was like a deluge of information - like when you wake up in the morning and suddenly remember where you are. I had a feeling these snippets of memory I'd received were somehow from the _other _Squall… except they seemed to be sparking off things that had happened in my own memory. I could barely take it all in, let alone explain it.

"Uh huh… so what exactly does that mean?"

I barely heard him. "Seifer, do you remember your childhood?"

He gave me an amused but curious look. "What, you want to be a psychiatrist? No, I don't remember much about my childhood. Why?"

"Do you remember… a stone building… by the sea? It was an orphanage… and there was a… a sort of light…"

"A lighthouse?" he whispered. His face had gone pale.

"Yeah. And we lived there… with all these other kids… "

"Sefie…" he murmured.

"What?" I asked.

"Selphie! Do you remember where you lived as a kid?"

She turned and gave him a scathing look. She was obviously still stinging from the reminder of her defeat.

"No, seriously!" Seifer persisted. "Do you remember when we used to call you… Sefie?"

She froze, then spun around and stared wide-eyed at Seifer, as if seeing him for the first time.

"…Seifer?" she asked, sounding oddly scared.

"What's the matter with you three?"

Quistis had turned around and seen the odd looks on all our faces.

"And Irvine was there…"

"We called him Irvy…"

"And we always used to play war…"

"You guys are making no sense whatsoever," Quistis said.

"Quisty!"

She stared at me.

"Quisty!?" she repeated, obviously not understanding. "What on earth… Why are you looking at me like that?"

She looked like she wanted to run away.

"Quisty. We called you Quisty." I said.

"Sefie, Irvy, Squally, Quisty…" Seifer murmured.

"And Seifie." Selphie added, and giggled. She _giggled!_ "But you hated how much it sounded like my nickname, so you insisted on being called Seif. You thought it made you sound cool."

"There were other kids, too…" Seifer said, eyes practically shining with excitement.

"Was there… was there a woman?" Quistis asked, voice shaking. "A woman with hair down to her waist?"

"She had dark hair…" I added. "And she always wore black…"

"Matron…" Seifer whispered.

I looked over as Quistis put a hand to her mouth. She was crying.

"Quisty… what's wrong?" I asked.

She looked up at me, tears streaming down her face.

"Matron… she…"

She gulped and continued.

"We were at the beach, and when we came back… Matron… she was dead!"

**__**

Told you. Nasty twist. Poor Matron… Why do we have to torture our beloved characters? Poor characters… I can't take it, I tell you! Poor Draic… Oh well.

AUTHORS:

Griever5 (sigh. Yes, another cliffhanger.)

Vick330 (yes! Right! Thanks.)

CuteMooglez (not talking - I'll spoil it!)

Faery-of-fiction (oh wow. You ARE the perfect reviewer. Not the best critic, but definitely the best reviewer)

Ghost Whisper (haunting? Wow. Thanks)

ANONYMITES:

Trepie 28 (Shh… the newbies haven't met him yet! But glad you like him)

Dark Phoenix (hey, nonononono! Not dead! Definitely not dead. Please come back!)

So… whatcha thinking at the moment? What's going on? Whodunnit?

Well, you're not going to find out from me. Not yet, anyway. I would love to hear your theories, though - my email is just above my author bio. Feel free to drop me a line!

Therefore, Read, Review, and Reply! 3R's! It'll be fun! Well, for me, anyway…

Draic

****

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Perhaps if we gather enough reviews, the story will be continued!

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	10. Ashes

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Disclaimer: Grr… running out of ideas… I guess I'll just have to steal the characters of some game and screw with them. I can pretend they're mine. What? I can't? But I've already written a fair portion of the story! Oh well. Thanks a lot, Squaresoft.

****

Alternate Fantasy

****

By Draic

Chapter Ten: Ashes

Silence ruled the blue glow of the MD level as I stared at Quistis and she stared at me, searching for something to say, some way to deny what I'd just heard her say. Quistis broke eye contact and turned away.

"Edea… Matron's dead?" I asked, shocked. Quistis could only sob in reply. I awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to offer some comfort, but I felt like I was the one who needed comforting.

"Quisty," I said softly, "It's okay… It all happened a long time ago."

"But we've only just remembered it!" she cried.

She abruptly turned and threw her arms about me, sobbing into my shoulder.

"Oh, Squall… how can we have forgotten her? She was always so kind to us… like a mother… and then she died… she didn't deserve to… she spent so much of her life looking after us… and then we just forget about her!"

__

The price of the GF… whispered the voice.

"Quisty… it wasn't your fault."

She didn't seem to hear me. She pulled away from me and stared off into the distance.

"We shouldn't have left her… We could have done something."

I threw up my hands in exasperation.

"Quistis, we were five. _What_ could we have done?"

She didn't answer, but moved to a nearby crate, sat down with her head in her hands and began murmuring and moaning softly to herself.

"We came back from the beach…" Seifer muttered, "and she was just lying there on the ground." He motioned with a hand and we stared numbly at the spot on the floor.

"She was lying face down," I heard myself say. "We thought maybe it wasn't her."

I could almost see it: A woman in black facedown on the stones and six small figures standing around her.

"But we recognised her clothes," I continued.

__

"Maybe she's sleeping," Sefie said, but all six of us had wide-eyed faces. Everyone was scared.

"We… we have to help her!" Quisty said. "Seifer! Zell! Help me turn her over!"

"Don't tell me what to do…" Seifer began, but he didn't sound like he meant it. He bent down, anxiously rubbing his arm.

Zell didn't move.

"Zell! Come on! Please!" Quisty pleaded.

He moved like he was asleep. I'd seen that once - he'd been walking around the house with his eyes half-open. He ended up in the cupboard. But it wasn't funny this time. He looked scary. But he moved and crouched next to Seifer. They didn't even look at each other. And for the first time ever, the three of them did something together without arguing.

Her body turned over slowly. It was definitely Matron.

Sefie gasped. "What's wrong wif her, Quisty?"

Quisty took Matron's pale hand, and shivered. "She's so cold…"

She fumbled with her wrist for a while…and then bent down and put her ear to Matron's chest. She closed her eyes, like she was going to sleep.

How could she go to sleep? She was supposed to be helping Matron! If Sis was here, she'd know what to do. Sis was so clever. But Quisty wasn't helping… was she?

I was about to tell her off, when she moved funny. She did a little jump backwards, and ended up falling on her butt. I nearly laughed, but then she said, "I can't hear her heart! She's… oh no…"

"What? Quisty? She's what!?"

"She's… dead!"

And she hunched up in a little ball and began crying. Irvy bent down and he and Seifer tried to wake Matron up, but Seifer just stopped after a while and dropped his hand onto hers. Selphie just stood there, rocking back and forth, tears falling off her nose. Zell had his back to us, facing the sea. I could hear him sobbing.

No… she couldn't be… no…

"NO!" I yelled.

I didn't want her to be dead! Sis… Sis could help. I had to find her!

I ran…

"Squall!"

I ran…

The gloom of the MD level suddenly seemed too dark, with too many shadows.

I turned away from the others. I didn't want them to see the tears in my eyes. I rubbed them hard, only succeeding in making my eyes red.

"How did she die?" someone whispered. I turned around again.

Selphie was for once meeting my eyes without that hateful fire burning within them; her flames had been quenched by the tears running down her cheeks.

"I don't remember," I answered softly. "There wasn't any blood or anything…"

We just stood there for a while, lost in our own thoughts and one by one, we seemed to lose the strength to stand; even as I collapsed on a nearby crate, Selphie sank down to the floor and Seifer leaned back on the wall.

I idly rubbed my forehead, as if trying to will more memories forth, but nothing came. After a moment, I realised I'd been tracing my scar - the one that wasn't there…

"So," Seifer said, breaking the silence, "…So this Irvine guy grew up with us?"

"I guess so," I replied.

"Maybe we should go talk to him, then."

"You might want to wait a few hours, Seifer," I said, pulling back my sleeve and tapping my watch. "He might be awake then."

Seifer glanced at his own watch.

"Oh no!" he moaned. "We're way past curfew! I can't be caught again! Instructor Segal would kill me!"

He fled for the elevator.

"Seifer…" Selphie began, standing up. "Seifer? HEY, SEIFER!"

He didn't seem to hear her. The elevator doors shut and with that familiar 'ding', the elevator rose out of sight.

"Bastard," Selphie muttered.

"He likes you," I said, joking, but a little too tired to give it much energy. Selphie's eyes widened and her mouth opened… I turned to Quistis, still sitting on the crate, with her head down.

"Hey, Quisty. It's past curfew! Are you coming?"

She didn't answer.

"Quistis?"

I knelt in front of her and gazed up into her face.

"Quistis…"

"What's wrong?" Selphie asked, a little huffily.

"She's… asleep."

As if to punctuate, Quistis gave out a little snore.

"Wake her up, then!"

"Selphie, can you help me carry her to her room?"

She folded her arms and looked at me skeptically. "You've got to be kidding!"

I tried to make a puppy-dog face. "Please?"

She laughed. "You're pathetic. You look like a rabid dog."

__

Rabid dog, puppy dog…close enough.

"So will you?"

She looked like she was about to snap at me, but her expression changed abruptly and she bit back whatever remark she was going to make. Instead, she rolled her eyes and casually rubbed her face. "Oh, fine. Just make sure she doesn't kick me."

She took Quistis' feet and I held her under her arms. She was surprisingly… heavy. I looked at Selphie suspiciously. Was she actually carrying any of the weight or just keeping Quistis' feet off the ground? She caught my gaze, and smiled evilly.

We got to the elevator eventually, Selphie all but dropping Quistis once we were in. She pressed the 1F button. The 'ding' seemed unnaturally loud. I looked anxiously at Quistis, but she was still fast asleep, propped up against the side of the elevator.

__

How can she sleep this heavily? I wondered. _On the other hand, she stayed up for me when I had that amnesia, and then while I was Infirmary… How much sleep has she been getting lately?_

"Hey…Squall… what happened to the other guy… um, Zell?"

I turned from Quistis to Selphie, slouched against the elevator wall.

"Huh? Oh, the other guy from the orphanage? I'm not sure." I scratched my head. "Come to think of it, it _does _seem a little weird that the four of us end up here - five, including Irvine, and he doesn't."

"How did we get here, anyway?" she asked. "It's not like many boats come to Centra. I'm guessing that's why the orphanage was there in the first place - it was so far away from the war. We were _supposed_ to be safe there."

I smiled sadly, following her train of thought. "But not safe enough, obviously…" I sighed. "Well, I suppose someone else had to know that we were there…"

"I don't remember any other adults… do you?"

I half-closed my eyes. "No… no, I don't think so."

"Hmm."

I looked over at her. She had that slightly irritated look that usually meant she'd met a problem she couldn't work out.

"What is it?" I asked her.

Once again, I watched in surprise as she bit back her first reply and instead gave me a straight answer.

"How did we survive?" she said, looking at me as though she was trying to pull a solution from my body. "We were in such a remote location, the only adult around had died… How did we feed ourselves? How did we get off the island?"

"Didn't Edea fish for a fair bit of it? She must have taught one of-"

"Why didn't whatever killed her kill us as well?" She interrupted, obviously not interested in my theories. But, as always, she had a good point. We sat in silent thought for a few minutes, but I couldn't come up with anything. But it suddenly occurred to me…

"Hey… does it seem like this elevator's taking a long time or…"

She stared at me. I stared at her.

We both stared at the glass doors and the unmoving walls outside.

"Oh no."

"Of all the places and…" I began.

"…people to get stuck with…" Selphie continued.

We glared at eachother.

"You know, I think you're starting to get on my nerves again." Selphie informed me.

"Oh, so there was a time when I wasn't getting on your nerves?" I countered.

"Oh, shut up," she grumbled.

I pressed the emergency button and waited.

There was a distinct lack of power return.

I pressed it again and for good measure, gave it a heavy thumping.

"Why are you guys so obsessive with buttons?" Sephie moaned. "If you press it once, you have to press it a thousand times."

I ignored her and pressed the alarm button.

"Of course you do realise that everyone's asleep, so there's no one to hear the alarm?"

"I don't hear you making any efforts to help," I shot back.

"Oh, you want my help?" Selphie asked, grinning.

"Faced with the risk of having to wait forever while you laugh at my futile attempts, yes, I do want your help," replied, a little resentfully.

"Okies," Selphie said, unusually cheerily. "Give me a boost."

I blinked. _A boost?_ "You mean… the ceiling?"

She rolled her eyes. "For a high-ranking cadet, you can be so thick. Of course, the ceiling."

She spun me around so I was facing away, grabbed my shoulders and the next thing I knew, her boots were digging into my collarbone. I instinctively grabbed them to hold her steady.

"Don't do that," she told me instantly, "it puts me off."

"Fine," I muttered. "I'll just stand here like an ornamental shelf until you're done."

"And don't talk, either. I'm trying to concentrate."

I wondered if I should move, just to piss her off.

"Okay, I've got the hatch open." Her weight suddenly lifted from my shoulders. "See ya!"

I looked up in time to see her legs disappear through the hole. "What!? Hey, what about me?"

She peered over through the hole. "Don't be such a wimp. Jump, boy, jump!"

"Yeah, but what about Quistis?" I called angrily.

"Not my problem. Leave her there." She looked around, scanning the walls. "She's asleep anyway - she won't notice. And when she wakes up… she _can _look after herself, you know."

I looked up at the hole above me, and then down at Quistis.

"I'll wait for her to wake up," I called.

"Aww, how sweet." She had vanished from sight, but I'd recognise the heavy sarcasm a mile away; Selphie was having fun.

"Just try to help a little - maybe get someone to fix the elevator?"

"No guarantees at this hour," her voice echoed down the shaft.

I swore. "Go to hell, Selphie - you'd like it there. Diablos would be more considerate!"

I heard her laughter, and then she was gone.

I slumped down opposite Quistis, still asleep despite all the yelling. She'd even missed the chance to tell me off for swearing.

"Well, isn't this going to be exciting," I muttered.

After half an hour or so with nothing to do, I fell asleep.

"Uh…?"

The raven-haired girl blinked.

"Yes, Squall?"

I looked around dazedly. The cracked, broken and slightly snowed in basketball court seemed to swim before my eyes before becoming solid again. I groaned.

"You've got to be kidding." I muttered. _So much for getting some actual sleep…_

"Squall!" Rinoa cried.

I looked at her, surprised at her look of hurt and outrage. "What? No, no, I wasn't talking to you. I was… talking to myself."

She peered at me suspiciously and finally said briskly, "At least you've started thinking _aloud_, then. Saves all the guessing we have to do. Quistis will be disappointed, though – she'll have to find a new game." She paused, tapped her foot and said, "So what's your answer, Squall?"

Bringing Quistis back into my train of thought definitely hadn't helped my concentration. I stared at her blankly. "Did you ask a question?"

Rinoa closed her eyes and bowed her head. When she spoke, her voice was all too calm, but a slight tremor in her voice betrayed the emotion she must be feeling. "Squall, you weren't listening _at all_, were you? As far as you're concerned, I'm just another person to endure and ignore, aren't I? Well, that's fine then, because I'd just about given up anyway. I'll leave you alone with yourself. That's what you want, isn't it?"

She looked up and I could have drowned in the deep pools of her eyes – pools that were threatening to overflow. I felt so helpless. What did she want? What was I supposed to do? The Garden manual definitely didn't address situations like these. And while I was staring with my mouth half-open, she was walking away from me, through the ruins of the Trabian Garden.

__

Oh, Hyne, what did I do now? What did I say? What did she_ say? Oh, great. Just perfect._

I sat down at the edge of the court after viciously kicking the basketball as far from me as possible, and pressed my hand against my forehead.

__

How am I supposed to deal with this?

Quistis and Zell were waiting for me as I trudged towards the entrance, but the other three were nowhere in sight.

"Where are the others?" I asked wearily.

"Selphie and Irvine wanted to get back to Garden as soon as possible," Quistis began.

Zell snorted. "Yeah, right. I think Irvine's just makin' the most of the situation, if you know what I mean."

Quistis ignored him. "So they were just waiting for the rest of us. I was going to go with them, but then…" She looked at me sideways and continued, "Then Rinoa came running up to us, asking to go as soon as possible. She left with Irvine and Selphie ten minutes ago."

I sighed. _It would have been safer to go together…_

"We could catch up to them if we pushed ourselves," Quistis offered.

I shook my head. "No. They can take care of themselves." _Hopefully…_

I led the way to the hole in the wall the students were using as an entrance and strode off. I intended to be back in my bed by nightfall.

Zell and Quistis hung back for a while, talking, but eventually Zell jogged to catch up to me.

"You know, Rinoa looked pretty upset…" he said, glancing at me.

"…" I commented. Too tired to think. Especially about anything concerning Rinoa.

"Well, it's just… she's a nice girl, don't you think? Never though I'd be saying this to you, but man she is hot!" He grinned playfully.

"…"

The smile slipped and he coughed nervously. "Yeah, well, just remember, Squall: You've got yourself quite a catch - It'd be a shame to let her go."

"She's not a fish," I informed him stonily.

To my surprise, the grin came back. "Yeah, well… that's for you to decide, I guess."

With that, he jogged ahead, leaving me to puzzle out his meaning.

"So where are we going, Commander?" Xu asked, apparently oblivious to my mood.

"We're looking for a stone orphanage near a lighthouse," I told her. _I'm not your bloody commander, woman! I've been a SeeD for not even half a year yet. You're at least six years my senior, a SeeD for at least that length of time… hell, you even taught me classes! Why in Hyne's name are _you_ the one calling _me_ 'Commander'?_

"I think there's a lighthouse on the west coast of Centra," Xu mused.

"So we go there," I said, now holding back a yawn along with my irritation. "We may find a clue as to Ellone's whereabouts… I'll be in my dorm if you need me."

I resumed my trudging as I moved through the halls, broken only by the empty stupor of the elevator. It actually took me a few minutes of standing and staring at my door before I could work up the energy to open it. I didn't bother changing but did remember to lock the door before sinking gratefully into bed.

__

If only it could stay like this forever…

__

I was standing in the rain, staring off into the distance. "Sis… Where are you?"

"Squall."

It was Sis! I couldn't believe it! Sis was back!

Hang on…Why was this familiar?

__

"I need to talk to you."

"You… you tried to kill me!"

__

"There is no time for idle chatter."

"Idle chatter? Is that what you call it? Look, I'm not going to listen to you. This is a dream, anyway, so I'll just wake up…"

__

"No, you won't. Trust me."

I laughed nervously, unsettled both by Sis' confidence and my own high-pitched voice - the voice of a child.

"Trust you? After the dagger!?"

__

"If you wish to wake up, you need to listen."

Now I was just confused. Not to mention speechless.

__

"Pay attention, Squall. You must remember…"

This was ridiculous. I was standing in the crumbling ruins of my childhood home, peering through the rain at my 'sister', who had left me in this place twelve years ago. Then again, I seemed to be a five-year-old once more. Ellone herself was exactly as I remembered her, yet there was something odd in the way she spoke and carried herself. This was definitely a dream - the fact that neither of us was getting wet confirmed that. But for the second time, this dream was not running its usual course.

On the other hand, perhaps this was not _my_ dream.

__

"You must remember," Sis repeated, in that voice that seemed to pass through her instead of projecting from her own mouth.

"Remember what?" I asked.

__

"Surely you have noticed… It has all changed now, Squall."

"…What has?"

__

"Everything. Can't you feel the fracture, the fragmentation, the sense of everything unravelling?"

I shrugged and kept my face blank, hoping to hear more.

__

"But you must. It is part of your being. You must grasp it; You must know it. If you don't… You have no comprehension of how much hangs over your head, boy. You must feel the tear inside your very existence..." She paused, and tilted her head slightly.

__

"I must go. I will leave you with this…"

She held out a hand, and I shrieked as my arm was engulfed in flame. As I batted helplessly at the fire, Sis' voice echoed in my ears.

__

"We will meet again."

I opened my eyes to a small, dark room. My arm was tingling. I realised I had been sleeping on it, and massaged the life back into it while my sleep-clogged eyes slowly adjusted. I was still in the elevator, which was still not moving.

"Squall?"

I turned my head. Quistis was sitting against the wall opposite me, her eyes open and looking into my own.

"Hi, Quistis," I replied.

She made a small smile. "You look so cute when you're asleep."

"What does that make me now I'm awake?" I asked jokingly.

She reached out towards me and touched my lips with her fingers.

"Squall," she said softly, "I'm sorry. I know you weren't cheating on me and I'm sorry for doubting you. Can you forgive me?"

I was shocked. In a sleepy kind of way. Quistis would _never_ apologise this quickly about something like this. What had changed during the time I'd been asleep?

"Quistis… of course I forgive you. But… what brought this on?"

She smiled a tired but happy smile and moved to rest her head in my lap.

"I know who Rinoa is," she said, and closed her eyes once more.

_ ****_

Yay! Rinoa's coming back! Uh, maybe. I'll have to make up another chapter to find out. J

AUTHORS:

Vick330: (um, okay)

I hope everyone's keeping up. Oh, and I should probably mention to the readers from way back that the whole weird freaky dream I had around this point with Squall and Ultimecia is absolutely WRONG. It never happened, mainly because it was wreaking havoc with the story and I couldn't make it work, so I had to delete it and come up with some new ideas. Plus I'm sure I automatically made things clearer just by deleting those scenes. Okay with everyone?

I seem to recall people telling me how confusing that 'weird trippy dream thing' was. See, everyone? The 3R's work! Read, Review, and when you Re-read, the whole thing is so much easier to understand…

Draic

This chapter can only be brought to you by the one and only "Me, Myself and… Huh? - Vick 330!

Come to think of it, this story is probably the closest to my own… except it's a humour!

(Humour? Let's go!)

http:?storyid=742815


	11. Heated

Disclaimer: Oh boy oh boy oh boy. You're telling me that if I write this story about their characters, I actually own part of Squaresoft? Cool! I - uh - what? The other way around? They own part of my story? Oh. But I liked my version so much better...  
  
Alternate Fantasy  
  
By Draic  
  
Chapter Eleven: Heated  
  
"I know who Rinoa is," she said, and closed her eyes. I stared at the face in my lap. How!? How do you know Rinoa? But she was already breathing deeply, fast asleep. I stared at the unmoving walls behind the glass and sank into a sort of trance, questions spinning round and round in my mind. How can Quistis know about Rinoa, if I don't? Well, I don't know her personally, I just know her through... Squall. The other Squall. Damn. What is this thing that keeps happening? Why me? What have I done? And why do I keep having these dreams? Who is this person? What did they mean? Remember something... something in my past? Where? When? How can I know something I don't even understand? And what was with that flame thing? I rubbed my arm nervously. Damn freaky. I wish Sis wouldn't keep trying to kill me... The elevator suddenly jerked. The lights flickered back on and Quistis' eyelids snapped open. She squinted up at me. "What time is it?" she asked. I looked at my watch and groaned. "Almost sunrise. Do you think we can get an exemption from class today?" She brought one hand over her forehead and closed her eyes again. "I wouldn't count on it. Besides, do you want to tell Instructor Segal why we're so tired?" "Because we were asleep together in an elevator?" I shook my head. "Nope, you're right. I can't see it working." Ding! We both looked up as the door opened to reveal the astonished junior cadet who had summoned the elevator. "Good morning," Quistis said from my lap. I added my own greeting and we both broke up in a fit of giggles.  
  
Quistis and I parted at the dorms, after I told her of our plan to meet with Irvine. She agreed. "I definitely want to be there...Try for lunchtime?" she asked. "Yeah." She nodded and walked off to the girls' dorms. I returned to my own dorm to grab a change of clothes, then hit the showers, trying to stay awake... Ding! "No," I moaned, half asleep. "No more elevators..." "...tention ... SeeD ...ates. Attention ... eeD candidates." Someone was calling, but the water was muffling the words. I abruptly realised it was the intercom, not the elevator, and fumbled for the taps. "...annual Field Test for SeeD will be held tomorrow morning. The written exam will be held this afternoon. Students who have not yet undertaken basic GF training should prepare themselves. Report immediately to your homeroom for further information." I panicked. What? Tomorrow!? They can't spring the SeeD exam on us like that... can they? I considered for five seconds... and then threw on my clothes and bolted.  
  
I burst into homeroom with my hair still dripping down my back, greeted with a roomful of students, all staring. Homeroom was only ever this full once a year - when the 'important' exams were upon us. "Well, Squall, it's nice to see you actually consider your future at Garden to be important!" scolded the woman at the front of the room. "Sorry, Instructor Trepe," I began, "I was caught in the shower..." Hang on, did I just call her...? "Instructor what!? Squall, if you can't even remember your own instructor's name, how can you possibly hope to pass the exams?" A round of snickers crossed the room as I stood and gaped in confusion as the black-haired Instructor glared back at me and the real Quistis Trepe ... no; Quistis Miranh ... hurried up the aisle and grabbed me by the arm. "Instructor Foset, please excuse Squall. He has had some problems with amnesia lately," she informed the older woman. The instructor looked shocked and whispered something to herself. I thought I heard, "...GF affected... already?" Wordlessly, she waved us to our seats and sat down herself. Quistis dragged me back down the aisle and had to force me to sit down before I managed to gather back my senses. She leaned over and whispered, "You know, you're really starting to worry me, Squall. Maybe I should try to get used to it." She frowned like she did when something was puzzling her and seemed about to say something else, but all the study panels flickered on and Instructor Foset was standing again. Quistis hurried back to her own seat before the speech started. "As you have heard, the written exam is to be held this afternoon, due to the urgent nature of the field exam. You will hear more about the field exam after the written test, but please note that many of the fully-fledged SeeDs have already been dispatched, which should leave much less opportunity for cadets to become distracted." A dark-haired boy I didn't recognise jumped up and said, "If the field exam is so urgent, why are we wasting time with the written exam?" A few students murmured agreement. "Sit down, Hewlut!" the Instructor commanded. The boy reluctantly did so and Instructor Foset continued. "It is because this mission is so urgent that we have sent SeeD already. Despite your willingness to rush into battle, Hewlut, we will stick by Garden's law and send only those cadets who we are sure will come back alive from such an encounter!" Hewlut still looked a little sulky, but many of the other students looked shaken by the Instructor's words. I wondered what could possibly be so important as to have thrown the whole of Garden into chaos within one morning. "Now if you consult the timetables shown on your study panels, you will notice that..." I looked blearily at the screen in front of me and tried to stay awake. Much pinching was involved.  
  
We spent the rest of the morning in private study until lunchtime. Well, some people were studying. Technically, the only set condition was that we had to be quiet, not that we had to be studying. Personally, I felt if you were trying to learn things last minute, you hadn't worked hard enough. Quistis disagreed, however, and was engrossed in her study panel. I spent the whole time randomly flicking through the battle guide screens and pretending to be concentrating. I kept thinking about Rinoa, and Edea, and Ellone, and dreams... I tuned back into life a bit later on, broken out of my stupor by Dr... Lunchlady Kadowaki. I was in the cafeteria. "Are you going to order something, honey?" "Oh, uh... I'll just have some fish and..." An odd feeling in the back of my head made me stop. "No, on second thoughts, I'll have some lasagne, thanks." I searched through the tables for anyone I knew. Not even Seifer or Selphie...and I didn't really see either of them as the kind to be off studying madly like Quistis. Looking back across the tables, I found my gaze caught on a guy sitting alone at a table, head down, and cap over his face. Something about him seemed familiar. I made my way over to his table and put down my plate. "Do you mind if I sit here?" He looked up, surprised, but shook his head. And then planted his face firmly back down over his plate. I sat down across from him. What was it about him? Had I seen him before in class? He hadn't shown any signs of recognition. I noticed him looking at me from under his cap and I realised I had been staring at him since I sat down. I picked up my fork and started on the lasagne. Hyne, this is good food. I have to remember to thank Squall for the tip. Hah. Most useful thing he's done for me since all this started. I wish I understood what was going on. Dreams, realities, and then back in my own normal world, Garden is in a panic. Great time to be a SeeD cadet. Maybe this is just my own perspective? Wonder if this guy is hiding the same sort of... I looked up again, and gave a start. The guy was gone! I turned and scanned the cafeteria. Nowhere to be seen. Damn, he was quiet... and fast. I heard a plate clink on the table behind me and turned to see Quistis taking the guy's place. She was rubbing her eyes tiredly. "So, what did you get out of him?" she asked. Confused, I said, "Huh? Out of who?" "Out of Irvine. Didn't you talk to him about... well, about the orphanage?" "Oh. No, I was gonna wait for the rest of us before we talked to him." Odd how I had included Selphie and Seifer as 'us'. "Besides," I continued, "I don't even know what he looks like." She looked startled and nearly choked on her chicken for laughing. "What?" I asked. "Squall, he was just sitting here." "What do you mean?" Realization suddenly dawned on me. "You mean... that was Irvine?" I turned again, as if expecting him to appear just because I knew who he was. "Oh, Squall..." Quistis said. I could hear the laughter in her voice. "Never mind. I wanted to be there myself when we did talk to him. We should probably find the others, too. After we eat - I'm starving." My stomach rumbled in agreement. I gave up on looking for Irvine and turned back to my plate. The lasagne looked particularly good today. I grabbed a forkful and raised it to my mouth, noticing as I did so that there was a light red mark along my arm, like I'd been sunburned. That's odd. I don't...  
Remember... My fork clattered on the table. "It can't be..." I whispered, holding my arm towards me. Quistis looked up from her chicken. "What's wrong?" "I...I'm uh... just a little shaky..." I stammered, and lowered my eyes to my arm again. The entire length of my arm was red. I hadn't even been outside in the last half-week or so, let alone standing in the sun for hours on end. "What, pre-exam jitters? You?" I vaguely heard. There was no reasonable explanation for this. No explanation other than... I thrust my arm into my lap and stared at Quistis, wide-eyed. "Honestly, Squall, you couldn't fail this exam if you tried. If you don't pass, no one will. And I'm not just saying that because I'm your girlfriend." "Huh? What?" I asked, distracted by this new train of thought. "O-oh... No, it's not that, Quistis... I just..." I shook my head helplessly and held out my arm towards her. She leaned over and inspected it thoroughly, then looked up at me. "What?" "I've been burned! Don't you..." I trailed off as I stared at my arm. Maybe it was a tinge red... maybe... but nothing as serious as a burn. I sighed in relief and explained to Quistis. "I thought I'd been burned. Must have been a rash or something... See, I had this dream where my arm just burst into flame..." I shook my head and chuckled softly. "I suppose I'm just stressed and seeing things. You have no idea what I've been through these past few days." She looked at me, eyebrows raised. "From what I can remember, I've been there with you through just about everything you've done this week." I winced. None too smart, Squall. "You're right, Quisty," I said. "I'm sorry." She shrugged and took a bite. "So what is it then?" she asked eventually. "You're not still tired, are you?" I shook my head. "A little, but I'd say that's left over from the elevator thing." "Then do you mean the amnesia?" "I guess so," I answered. In a way, it was. In a big way, actually. Just not quite amnesia... "You know, I can't help but wonder how you got that in the first place. You didn't hit your head, did you?" I tried to think back. "I don't think so." Quistis had her hands clasped under her chin, looking at me like I was a puzzle to be put together. "It's strange that you'd just suddenly get amnesia for no reason, don't you think? And it's a pretty weird type of amnesia. You haven't forgotten anything important, even if you do have to take your time to remember." I suppose that's the thing with living in two worlds – it takes a while for the other guy's mind to catch up. Or for his to leave mine when I'm here. I have to try to remember what people did and didn't do in whichever reality I'm currently in. And sometimes there just isn't time to think... "You know, I think it might not really be amnesia at all," Quistis declared, gesturing with her fork. "I think you just put yourself under too much pressure. You're concentrating so hard on your studies, cramming so much into your head, that you're forgetting the everyday details, like people's names, places and times – the things that you normally take for granted." "Maybe..." I said. Yeah, right. It's not like I've been studying that hard, anyway. Quistis is the one spending so much time with the books. ...Why don't I just tell her about... well, Squall? Okay, so it sounds crazy, but at least she'll hear me out and think it through from every angle before she sends me to a psychiatrist. Go for it! "Quistis... the truth is... you see... uh..." Ding! I groaned. "Attention all SeeD candidates. Please move to room C2 for the commencement of the written examination." Quistis sighed and rolled her eyes. "You know, I'd almost forgotten we have The Exam today," she said sarcastically. "Look, we'd better go - I have to collect my things from the Library first. Can we talk after the exam?" I nodded gloomily. She smiled a little and playfully tugged my bandana over my eyes. "Good luck," she whispered, her breath tickling my ear. But by the time I'd pulled off the makeshift blindfold she'd already disappeared, tray and all. As I slowly stood, it occurred to me that I'd missed the opportunity to ask about Rinoa – again.  
  
Twenty minutes later, myself and the thirty or so other SeeD candidates were seated in the examinations room, in neat rows, alphabetical order, keypads tapping furiously and the clock pounding each second out of our grasp. For any student who looked up, the door at the front of the room was a constant mockery, for between the door and us was another line of computer terminals, behind which sat every Instructor in Garden. As soon as any candidate answered a question, the next would immediately flash onto the screen, while the previous submission would be sent to one of the Instructors, who would criticise and pick it to bits before marking it and sending the result to a screen set up in the hallway outside. The variety of questions alone was staggering. Not only were there multiple choice questions, one-word-answers, short- and long-response questions, the topics were almost endless. Knowledge was required of various monsters and their strengths and weaknesses; magic and elements; items and their uses; Guardian Forces and junctioning as well as familiarity with a wide variety of weapons and specifics of your individual weapon of choice, IN ADDITION to a solid grasp of geography, world politics and history, from the Lunar Cry 80 years ago to the hierarchy of modern Dollet. Lastly and often most frustrating were questions of ethics!!! And some perverse creature known as the Headmaster had strange ideas about the Chaos theory, and so the questions were now totally and utterly random, as opposed to the exams of only two years ago, when all questions were sorted into form and topic. It was almost impossibly difficult – but that was what it took to become a SeeD.  
  
You are travelling through the mountainous regions of Trabia in a party of four when you encounter a Ruby Dragon. Party member #1 is a Rank 25 SeeD, trained with a broadsword, with the Guardian forces Ifrit and Quezacotl junctioned, and base level offence magic. Party member #2 is a newly graduated Rank 10 SeeD, trained as a sniper, with unlimited ammunition and no Guardian Forces or magic. You are a Rank 15 SeeD, trained with a crossbow. You have the Guardian Force Carbuncle, and are highly skilled in all types of Support magic. Your squad leader is a Rank A SeeD, trained with a spear, with the Guardian Forces Shiva and Diablos, as well as medium level offensive magic. Your squad leader has been gravely injured, and no members of your party have any restorative magic or items. You cannot escape the encounter. Detail your course of action.  
  
I sighed and rubbed my eyes, not even bothering to stifle my yawning. Ruby Dragons were weak against ice, so I started on the scenario by having member #1 junction Blizzard to his weapon and member #2 serve as a distraction. I'd realised that Shiva and Diablos could easily defeat the Ruby Dragon, but the trick was to revive the Squad Leader first. Yes, that was the real problem. With the Squad Leader out of the fight, we had no chance. Especially not "me". I mean, what was the point of training in only Support magic? I stared thoughtfully at the screen, then hesitantly typed in: "I would cast the status magics Zombie and Bio on the Squad Leader. Zombied allies are damaged by restorative spells such as Regen, so conversely, a zombie should actually be healed by poison." I frowned blearily at what I'd written and wondered if that was true or if I had made it up. It did sound like it would work. Possibly. As I clicked on 'submit', the thought of a zombied Quistis sprang into my mind, and I idly wondered exactly how Holy Water turned a Zombie back into a normal person. Bet Quistis didn't like getting water poured over her like that... And I bet Selphie didn't like Quistis casting Water on her in the MD Level that day... What was that place for again? Someone important... a Shumi?  
  
List the major settlements on the Galbadian continent and the quickest methods of travel to each from Balamb Town.  
  
"Shou' just... fly there..." I murmured. Stupid question, really. After all, Squall had somehow made it to Trabia in just one day. He was here in Balamb Garden that morning... I know - I was there. 'Bout time someone figured a quicker way than that damn Dollet ferry. I barely noticed my eyes closing as my thoughts drifted further and further away. Strange realities, disturbing dreams and confused memories. Selphie and Seifer knew about the Seed Exam. Irvine knew the secrets of the past. Quistis knew Rinoa. And I knew... nothing...  
  
"Matwyn?" The lady in black lay there on the stones, and the small figures spiralled around her, moving closer and then darting away. The sound of crying and whimpering was everywhere. Why wouldn't it stop? Why wouldn't they stop? Why wouldn't she stop? I fled, searching for Sis, searching for her dark hair and dark eyes, searching for her smile, searching for her warm arms around me. She would make everything better. She would make them all stop. And I found her. She knew I needed her. She was here. She had come back. It was her. If only she would get up, everything would be better. I had to wake her up. She was lying down and wouldn't look at me. She was lying down like Matron on the ground, but she wasn't. She couldn't be. I could wake her up. Sis would wake up. I had found Sis Ellone and she would wake would wake up  
  
"WAKE UP!" I yelled to Sis. But she wasn't there. Instead, there were thirty students and a dozen instructors all gaping up at me. "Sorry," I mumbled, and sat down again. I had fallen asleep in the middle of the SeeD exam and the on-screen clock told me there was only five minutes left. But I couldn't have cared less. It had been a dream, yes, but it had also been partly memory. On that day, twelve years ago, we had found Edea dead. I had run away, in search of Ellone. And I had found her. Sis was lying face-down in the flower field. And like Matron, she wouldn't move.  
  
Well, not as much of a cliffhanger, I guess. But it's not shaping up to be a very nice reality for Squall - Edea dead, Rinoa missing, and now Ellone is gone, too. Poor boy. Oh, don't worry - not everyone dies. Very reassuring, huh? Well, at least I got another chapter up. And it does start to make sense from here. Well, it does to me. Uh, I think... Let's just move on.  
  
AUTHORS: Freakker: (I'm sure there has to be a story like this out there somewhere... until I find it, thanks.) Sayiera (well, I'm sure there has to be a... hey! That sounds familiar...) Vick330 (hehe, playing with words is fun. Thanks for noticing)  
  
ANONYMITES: Sophie (thankies!)  
  
And that's the end of the story. No, kidding! Come back! Stay! (phew) Don't do that to me! After all, you can't just ignore the three R's: Read, review, and... um... uh... blast! Where's that dictionary? Stay there, I promise I'll be back... uhmm... Draic  
  
Now a word from our sponsors, CuteMooglez, who kindly offer "Trading Spaces" to all readers who wish to see Squall and Selphie in unusual shapes and forms (now with free sugar high) And that word is: "tee-hee!" http:?storyid=1020435 


	12. Hide The Scars

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Disclaimer: So I don't own FF8 aspects of this story, okay? I'm fine with that. I'm not bitter at all. In fact, I don't want to own it! I'm fine the way I am, thank you very much.

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Twelve: Hide the Scars

The middle-aged blonde sighed, rose from his simple but cluttered wooden desk and crossed to a small filing cabinet to the right of the desk. Crouching down, he pulled open and flicked through the lower drawer, finally pulling out a sheaf of papers marked 'Alie, Tytha'. Shaking his head in irritation, he stood and kicked the drawer shut.

Rifling through the pages, he pulled out one entitled, "Medical Records". Resting for a moment on the edge of the desk, Parelan skimmed through the contents, though it was his own handwriting scrawled over the page and he knew the contents by heart:

"Tytha Alie was first admitted to the Infirmary after an incident during a class on Monster recognition. According to her Instructor, she'd wandered too close to the Grat enclosure and had received a sharp blow to the midriff, cracking a rib.

She was later brought in with deep lacerations across her neck and throat, inflicted during a combat training session by her partner, Cadet Yil Derreth.

After her first attempt at the Fire Cavern test, she was treated for severe burns. During an encounter with a Bomb, she was driven to the edge of the pathway and lost her footing. Her right foot was submerged to the ankle in lava. Despite partial protection from her Elemental Defence Junction, she lost the use of her foot."

The blonde moved purposefully back to his chair, clutching the paper with white knuckles. He grabbed a nearby pen and scrawled a new entry on the paper:

"Tytha was again admitted after the Field Exam so a bullet could be removed from her left thigh. There were no complications."

He signed the entry, just as he had all the others. Dr P. Dincht, M.D

Then he threw the pen at the wall opposite.

Dr. Dincht rested his head in his hands. He had hoped never to see Tytha again. He had hoped never to have to see another of her injuries, or to hear of the circumstances surrounding the event.

Tytha was careless, naïve and inexperienced when the doctor first met her, and somehow managed to retain those qualities through the seven years since that first tearful encounter. And no one else seemed at all worried about that.

The blonde tried to shake away that line of thinking, and rose from his desk once more. He paced across the room and bent down to retrieve his pen. Straightening, he found himself staring through the open doorway at the girl lying on the bed.

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Even her teachers don't seem to understand. She's clumsy, she has no focus and she has entirely the wrong sort of mind for fighting. She wasn't ready to be trained with a deadly weapon. She wasn't ready to enter the Fire Cavern. And she sure as hell wasn't ready to take the SeeD Exam. She's proved them wrong over and over again… and they still think she's ready to be a SeeD! Luck can only hold out for so long…

Tytha was clearly awake but facing the window, presumably watching the sun scaling the sky, as nothing else seemed to be happening in the plains that stretched out to the northern mountains. As he silently studied her slender form, she stirred and rolled over, her short dark hair replaced by pale blue eyes and a small mouth that broke into a slightly crooked smile at the sight of the man in the doorway.

"Hi, Doctor Dincht."

"I thought by now we might have been on a first name basis, Cadet Alie," the doctor said, flashing a smile of his own.

"Sorry, Doctor," the girl replied, giggling a little.

He winced inside, but kept the smile on his face. "Well, since you insist on seeing me that way, I guess I have to comply. So how are you feeling?"

"Fine."

At his raised eyebrow, she straightened to a sitting position and corrected herself. "I mean, I can't feel much of my leg, though it does ache a bit."

"That's good to hear. You were shot in the thigh, after all; I should hope you'd be a bit worse than 'fine'. The ache is probably just the painkillers wearing off, but let me know if it gets any worse."

"Okay," Tytha replied, and turned to the window once more.

"What is it you're looking at?" the blonde asked.

Tytha turned her head and looked at him with shining eyes. "I'm waiting for the flowers," she said.

The doctor blinked. "The flowers?"

She went slightly pink, but explained herself. "A few years ago, I went exploring with my friends and found this huge patch of flowers near the edge of the forest. You can't see them now, but when the sun gets a little higher…" she sighed. "They're like a beautiful patchwork quilt."

"You should write that down," the doctor advised. "I think I'll have to see this for myself. Call me in when you find them?"

"Sure!" she said, and rolled back to the window.

The doctor turned to leave the room, but seemed to change his mind. "Congratulations on passing the SeeD exam."

"Thanks!" the girl replied, not looking away from the window. Dr. Dincht shook his head amusedly.

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Flowers. She's just passed her SeeD exam despite being shot, and all she's thinking about is flowers.

As he passed through the doorway, his grin slipped.

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Hyne, Tytha, what are you doing here? You're no soldier; you're a dreamer. You should be painting pictures or writing poetry or something! Garden or no, if you're looking for flowers, you're in the wrong place… I just wish you could have worked that out yourself by now.

Tytha's biggest problem was probably also her greatest asset; she was incredibly resilient. She'd had to be, in order to keep going with her training after so many injuries. Whatever life threw at her, she'd bounce back twice as determined as before. But that meant that instead of using her failures to learn from, she was diving headlong back into the same fight - and not realising how badly she was losing.

Someone would have to point it out to her. Point it out so plainly and clearly that there was no room for argument. It would hurt. Hyne would it hurt. But the doctor knew better than most that things tend to get worse before they get better.

He crossed once more to his desk, pulled the keyboard towards him and began typing.

The Doctor grinned. It was a beautiful morning, he hadn't had to treat any worse than a twisted ankle in the last few days, and he'd just witnessed his son perform a backward handspring.Zell was absolutely ecstatic, and had been practically bouncing off the walls as he raced off to tell everyone he knew. There was something incredibly infectious about Zell's laughter, in his father's extremely biased opinion, and he almost felt like turning a cartwheel himself.

He felt so inspired that he was actually cleaning his desk. It was a rare occurrence that the doctor could bear to sort through the piles of paperwork that not only enveloped the desk, but also spilled over its edges. The filing cabinet was going to be a lot fuller than it had been in a while before this day was done.

There was a knock at the door, and the blonde turned to find Headmaster Cid standing in the doorway. The older, dark-haired man gave an amused smile at the surprise written across the doctor's face.

"Do you mind if I come in?" the Headmaster asked.

"Sure! Come on in!" the younger man replied. He scratched his head idly as he looked around the room. "Uh… I'm afraid there's only one chair… and the desk is such a mess…"

Cid waved his hand amicably. "Don't worry about it, Doctor. If there's one thing I've learned from all those darn speeches, it's how to be comfortable standing up."

Dr. Dincht grinned. "Well, if you're sure… So how are you, old man?" he asked, leaning back on the desk.

"''Old man?'" The Headmaster repeated, folding his arms. "Please. I'm barely ten years your senior, Doctor."

"Well, a lot can happen in ten years, Cid. Look at Zell - he's not much older than ten and just this morning showed me a flawless backward handspring."

Cid smiled to himself. "Well, he certainly has a lot of energy. It seems he finally found the right way to channel it."

"That he did," said his father. "But enough of this fatherly babble. What brings you to my humble office?"

Cid paused before replying, unfolding his arms and studying his hands. "It has come to my attention that you have expressed some concern over the treatment of SeeD Tytha Alie."

The doctor's grin slid off his face and he sighed. "I was wondering when I'd be hearing about that."

"You must realise, doctor, that stripping a student of the ranking of SeeD is not a punishment we have ever performed before… let alone rejecting them and severing all their ties with Garden!"

"I know."

"What exactly is it about Miss Alie that makes you think she is deserving of such a thing?"

"She's not," Dincht said wretchedly, "and that's the worst of it." He pushed off the desk and began pacing back and forth. "She's one of the cheeriest and most upbeat people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. She's very intelligent and has a great sense of humour…

"But…?" Cid supplied.

"But…" the blonde turned to face the Headmaster. "She shouldn't be here. She's a dreamer, not a mercenary! Have you seen her sketches? Her poetry? She's certainly the best developing artist I've seen during my time here. She should be drawing for a living, not playing at soldiers."

"Don't you think that's for her to decide?" the Headmaster asked gently. "She seems quite happy to be here."

"And ordinarily that would be enough for me. But have you seen her medical record?"

"She's had a few accidents," Cid admitted.

"She's bloody careless!"

"Now, now…"

"She is and you know it! She's careless, she has little concentration and she can't think ahead. You can't afford to have someone like that on a battlefield, let alone a more specialised mission."

"Her Instructors seem to think otherwise."

"Then her Instructors are wrong!"

There was a silence as the two men watched each other. Doctor Dincht suddenly realised two things. Firstly, that his hands were clenched in fists. Secondly, that Cid himself was one of Tytha's Instructors.

"I'm sorry, Cid…" he started, relaxing his hands.

Cid stepped forward, clasping his hands in front of him. The doctor recognised the pose. It was usually reserved for admonishing rambunctious students. This did not bode well.

"It seems to me, doctor, that this is not about Miss Alie at all. In fact, I think you need to reassess which battle you are fighting."

The blonde rubbed a hand across his face. "Please spare me the runaround, Cid. What do you mean?"

"I think your true complaint is over the way we Instructors select our SeeDs. Am I right?"

The older man's dark eyes glared frostily into the doctor's blue.

"Headmaster, please do not make this personal. I'm just asking you to review the way you train your students."

"Refusing to consider personal implications is always a mistake, Doctor. You want me to raise the expectations of SeeD? I suggest you consider what effect that will have on the other students, your 'son' included."

Parelan's breath left him as the Headmaster's implications sunk in. He stared at the older man, stunned.

"I'm sure I don't need to remind you of Zell's records, Doctor. They are not unlike SeeD Tytha's own. I'm sure you would have noticed the likeness yourself."

Cid turned to leave the room as Dr. Dincht slumped against his desk.

"And Doctor?" Cid called over his shoulder. "Try not to make this personal."

The desk was now bare but for two folders; two names. Tytha Alie and Zell Dincht. Zell's folder had never been filed away since the blonde's entry to Garden. It had always been where the doctor could easily access it - on his desk. But as the doctor grew busier and messier, the folder had been buried under the maelstrom of paper that was now stacked against the filing cabinet.

Doctor Dincht was pacing around in a daze. He'd ordered lunch from the cafeteria, but had barely touched it since it arrived. He knew exactly what was in those two folders. He'd written every line and had more than a professional interest in both. He didn't need to read them… he didn't need to put them side by side to compare the two… and yet he never had before. Never before had he connected his personal misgivings about Garden's effectiveness with his son. Zell was a great student, wasn't he? Enthusiastic, skilled, with a keen interest and a tendency to bounce back from whatever life threw at him…

The phrase stuck in his mind. Hadn't he been thinking exactly the same thing about Tytha? That her quick recovery skills meant she didn't learn? The Headmaster was right. The two were much too similar.

The doctor stopped pacing and squeezed his eyes closed. _I'm sure I don't need to remind you of Zell's records, Doctor…_

Soon after his eighth birthday, Zell had broken his left arm during a gymnastics lesson with his Instructor, Kelo Ender. At age ten, like Tytha, he'd had a run-in with a Grat and ended up comatose from a nasty blow to the head. On that information alone, there'd be not much cause for concern, but the break had occurred because he'd attempted a dive from a wooden horse on his first lesson and the Grat incident had been part of a dare - he'd been challenged by another cadet to steal one of the mother Grat's eggs from it's nest.

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They are not unlike Tytha's own…

Perhaps Zell didn't exhibit the utter carelessness that Tytha did, but Tytha herself hadn't shown as much of it at Zell's age. The signs were definitely there, though. Headstrong, overexcitable, and unable to see the consequences of his actions…

There'd been no accidents lately, though… perhaps that showed that, unlike Tytha, Zell was learning? His father sincerely hoped so.

He glanced over at the stack paper against the filing cabinet and sighed. _If Cid hadn't come in this morning, I might have had all that sorted by now. _He crossed wearily to the filing cabinet and picked up the top sheet.

"Dr. Dincht! Dr. Dincht!"

The man in demand looked up from the last few papers at the source of the panicked voice.

"Yes? What is it?"

The agitated cadet danced from foot to foot. "There's been an accident! We didn't mean it, I swear!"

The doctor straightened. "Don't worry about that now. What happened and where?"

"We were in the training centre," the boy said, and bit his lip. "He's bleeding… I think he hurt his head…"

"Is he away from the monsters?" Parelan cut in.

"Yeah… we got him to the Secret Area… I'm really sorry!"

"You've done the right things so far," the doctor said as he grabbed his medical kit from a hook on the wall. He turned to the cadet, who was still rubbing his arm frantically. "Look, if you want to help, see if you can get me a bucket of water for me. And Instructor Foset should be in the cafeteria. Get her to guide you back through the Training Centre."

The boy nodded and dashed off. Parelan followed him down the corridor and turned left, breaking through a trio of girls as he hurried to the Training Centre. As he reached the entrance to the humid jungle, he pulled a small whistle from his pocket and raised it to his mouth. There was no sound as he blew through the instrument, but the rustling in the surrounding bushes told of Grats scurrying away. Clenching the whistle in his teeth, he continued running, every exhale sending up a wave of rustling. As he neared the entrance to the Secret Area, he dropped the whistle back into his pocket and broke through the archway.

Against the backdrop of the setting sun was a disturbing scene. Five junior cadets and an older man were crowded around a sixth student, lying unmoving on the ground. As the doctor approached, the Instructor motioned for the cadets to stand back. Parelan could now see the boy on the ground. More importantly, he could see the blood and dirt that covered the left side of his face and stained his hair bright crimson.

"What happened?" the doctor asked as he knelt beside the boy. He took note of the boy's chest rising and falling then took a cloth and a flask of water from his bag, wet the cloth and began washing the boy's neck as the Instructor answered.

"He got in the way of Lowen's cat-o-nine-tails. Hit him across the face."

The doctor's fingers had already found the pulse at the boy's throat and his attention moved further upwards. The entire left side of the boy's face was a mess of torn flesh. In one place, the doctor could see the kid's cheekbone. Parelan took a breath and forced himself to concentrate on what he was doing, rather than what he was doing it _to_.

"…Where's this Lowen now?" the doctor asked of the Instructor. _Look after all patients._

"I sent him to get you," the man replied. _Good. At least he's doing something to help._ The Instructor's voice had sounded a little strained, but also familiar. The doctor glanced up for a second.

"Thought that was you, Kelo. Where's…"

"…Pa?"

Parelan Dincht stared down at his son. His hand froze.

Zell lapsed into unconsciousness again.

Cid entered the Secret Area, for once not there to send over-excitable couples back to their respective dorms. Instructor Ender looked up as he passed then resumed speaking softly to six of the seven cadets on the balcony. The seventh was at the opposite end, seemingly asleep on the floor. He was lying with his head facing away from the Headmaster, and there was blood in his hair. Resna Foset was setting up a stretcher beside the boy.

The last person on the balcony was leaning against the railing and also facing away from Cid, staring out over the treetops at the bright lights of Garden's central sectors.

As the Headmaster joined him at the railing, he murmured, "Could you spare a cigarette?"

"You don't smoke, doctor," Cid reminded him softly.

The blonde man laughed, a harsh sound quite unlike the heartfelt chuckles Cid had grown accustomed to. "Aren't I usually the one telling you that?" the doctor mused. "But right now, I can understand why I keep having to ask you to get rid of them. I don't suppose I can drink, either. No. I shouldn't do that."

There was a heavy silence but for the murmuring of the children. The Headmaster broke it first.

"How is he?"

The doctor still didn't turn his head. "…Alive," he stated after a moment. "His vital signs are stable, but he's lost a lot of blood so I'll need to keep him resting up in the Infirmary for a couple of days. His… face needed stitches despite the healing magic I used on him, so it will still leave quite a few scars."

"I'm relieved," Cid said.

"He almost lost an eye."

Cid had no reply for that.

"You know how it happened?" Parelan asked. Cid didn't answer; he wasn't expected to. "Kelo was training one kid to use a cat-o-nine-tails while the others were supposed to be watching. But Zell decided to show the others the backward handspring he learned this morning. He leapt right into the path of the whip."

The older man looked over at the doctor and hesitated. "It was a dangerous decision the Instructor made…"

"No," the younger man cut in. He stood up straight and looked at Cid for the first time since he'd arrived.

"No, Cid. It was a stupid, careless thing for Zell to do. You were right about him. He's just as much of a problem as Tytha is."

"I didn't mean it like that…" Cid protested.

Dr. Dincht cut over him. "Both of them think they are invincible. They think they are ready to take on anything that comes for them." He took a deep breath. "And that's why I have to ask you again to change your teaching methods. Because they're not, Cid. They're not even close."

"Parelan-"

"No, Cid. That's all. I resign."

With that, the blonde turned from the stunned Headmaster and moved to tend to his son.

****

Yesh shirree. Looking back on this chapter, it could well have been a story on it's own. In fact, I even know what happens next and am currently trying to work out if I can work it into the story somewhere else. I don't want to spend another chapter on Parelan at this point in time, and this chapter is too long as it is to add in any more. It isn't even part of the main plotline and look what's happened! (Sigh). Now then…

AUTHORS:

Faery-of-fiction (you're so dedicated and perceptive. Unlike Squall - that's why he didn't recognise Irvine)

Seventhe (hehe, you're funny. You sound like me! Um, that's supposed to be a compliment, I think…)

Vick330 (ask and you shall be answered…later. And you have an interesting point there about the confusion. Hmm… By the by, I hope this chapter answered some of your early questions, though I'd been planning it before you asked them, too… if there's still confusion, please let me know)

Oh, and I have a feeling I should mention that in this chapter, I borrowed two ideas from two great authors without their permission:

The silent whistle that scares away Training Centre monsters comes from "Sowing The SeeDs" by Greenbeans;

And the fact that Cid smokes was brought in because it is part of Geitzeng's three-part series (Figlio Perduto, Pity the Child, A Question of Honor)

Okay, so they're not huge story elements but it feels nice to give some sort of continuity or 'blending' of stories to keep the same 'world'.

I'm pretty sure I've been doing the same thing throughout the story so far, and I'll try to mention those as well, but until then, the only one I can recall is the idea of Rinoa being in the car at the time of Julia's crash wasn't my own. I think it came from Ashbear's "Castles In The Sky", but I haven't read the story for a while so I'm not completely certain.

So then, remember (because I nearly forgot): Read, Review, and Roneo! Um, on second thoughts, don't. The last one, I mean! Just don't do the last one! Oh, dammit. Well, see you next time!

Draic

P.S. The next chapter should be up pretty soon, seeing as it is already written - I just need to check it once more.

This chapter is dedicated to Greenbeans "Sowing the SeeDs" and Gietzeng's serieseses, as apology for stealing cigarettes and whistles while they weren't paying attention.

(Besides, Dark Phoenix still isn't an author, so I can't advertise any Dark Phoenixy stories)

Seriously, both are FANTASTIC stories, but plenty long - get yourself a meal and a cushion

(All packed? Let's go!)

http:?storyid=385337

(gietzeng - "Figlio Perduto)


	13. A Way With Words

__

Disclaimer: So I don't own FF8 aspects of this story, okay? I'm fine with that. I'm not bitter at all. In fact, I don't want to own it! I'm fine the way I am, thank you very much.

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Twelve: Hide the Scars

The middle-aged blonde sighed, rose from his simple but cluttered wooden desk and crossed to a small filing cabinet to the right of the desk. Crouching down, he pulled open and flicked through the lower drawer, finally pulling out a sheaf of papers marked 'Alie, Tytha'. Shaking his head in irritation, he stood and kicked the drawer shut.

Rifling through the pages, he pulled out one entitled, "Medical Records". Resting for a moment on the edge of the desk, Parelan skimmed through the contents, though it was his own handwriting scrawled over the page and he knew the contents by heart:

"Tytha Alie was first admitted to the Infirmary after an incident during a class on Monster recognition. According to her Instructor, she'd wandered too close to the Grat enclosure and had received a sharp blow to the midriff, cracking a rib.

She was later brought in with deep lacerations across her neck and throat, inflicted during a combat training session by her partner, Cadet Yil Derreth.

After her first attempt at the Fire Cavern test, she was treated for severe burns. During an encounter with a Bomb, she was driven to the edge of the pathway and lost her footing. Her right foot was submerged to the ankle in lava. Despite partial protection from her Elemental Defence Junction, she lost the use of her foot."

The blonde moved purposefully back to his chair, clutching the paper with white knuckles. He grabbed a nearby pen and scrawled a new entry on the paper:

"Tytha was again admitted after the Field Exam so a bullet could be removed from her left thigh. There were no complications."

He signed the entry, just as he had all the others. Dr P. Dincht, M.D

Then he threw the pen at the wall opposite.

Dr. Dincht rested his head in his hands. He had hoped never to see Tytha again. He had hoped never to have to see another of her injuries, or to hear of the circumstances surrounding the event.

Tytha was careless, naïve and inexperienced when the doctor first met her, and somehow managed to retain those qualities through the seven years since that first tearful encounter. And no one else seemed at all worried about that.

The blonde tried to shake away that line of thinking, and rose from his desk once more. He paced across the room and bent down to retrieve his pen. Straightening, he found himself staring through the open doorway at the girl lying on the bed.

__

Even her teachers don't seem to understand. She's clumsy, she has no focus and she has entirely the wrong sort of mind for fighting. She wasn't ready to be trained with a deadly weapon. She wasn't ready to enter the Fire Cavern. And she sure as hell wasn't ready to take the SeeD Exam. She's proved them wrong over and over again… and they still think she's ready to be a SeeD! Luck can only hold out for so long…

Tytha was clearly awake but facing the window, presumably watching the sun scaling the sky, as nothing else seemed to be happening in the plains that stretched out to the northern mountains. As he silently studied her slender form, she stirred and rolled over, her short dark hair replaced by pale blue eyes and a small mouth that broke into a slightly crooked smile at the sight of the man in the doorway.

"Hi, Doctor Dincht."

"I thought by now we might have been on a first name basis, Cadet Alie," the doctor said, flashing a smile of his own.

"Sorry, Doctor," the girl replied, giggling a little.

He winced inside, but kept the smile on his face. "Well, since you insist on seeing me that way, I guess I have to comply. So how are you feeling?"

"Fine."

At his raised eyebrow, she straightened to a sitting position and corrected herself. "I mean, I can't feel much of my leg, though it does ache a bit."

"That's good to hear. You were shot in the thigh, after all; I should hope you'd be a bit worse than 'fine'. The ache is probably just the painkillers wearing off, but let me know if it gets any worse."

"Okay," Tytha replied, and turned to the window once more.

"What is it you're looking at?" the blonde asked.

Tytha turned her head and looked at him with shining eyes. "I'm waiting for the flowers," she said.

The doctor blinked. "The flowers?"

She went slightly pink, but explained herself. "A few years ago, I went exploring with my friends and found this huge patch of flowers near the edge of the forest. You can't see them now, but when the sun gets a little higher…" she sighed. "They're like a beautiful patchwork quilt."

"You should write that down," the doctor advised. "I think I'll have to see this for myself. Call me in when you find them?"

"Sure!" she said, and rolled back to the window.

The doctor turned to leave the room, but seemed to change his mind. "Congratulations on passing the SeeD exam."

"Thanks!" the girl replied, not looking away from the window. Dr. Dincht shook his head amusedly.

__

Flowers. She's just passed her SeeD exam despite being shot, and all she's thinking about is flowers.

As he passed through the doorway, his grin slipped.

__

Hyne, Tytha, what are you doing here? You're no soldier; you're a dreamer. You should be painting pictures or writing poetry or something! Garden or no, if you're looking for flowers, you're in the wrong place… I just wish you could have worked that out yourself by now.

Tytha's biggest problem was probably also her greatest asset; she was incredibly resilient. She'd had to be, in order to keep going with her training after so many injuries. Whatever life threw at her, she'd bounce back twice as determined as before. But that meant that instead of using her failures to learn from, she was diving headlong back into the same fight - and not realising how badly she was losing.

Someone would have to point it out to her. Point it out so plainly and clearly that there was no room for argument. It would hurt. Hyne would it hurt. But the doctor knew better than most that things tend to get worse before they get better.

He crossed once more to his desk, pulled the keyboard towards him and began typing.

The Doctor grinned. It was a beautiful morning, he hadn't had to treat any worse than a twisted ankle in the last few days, and he'd just witnessed his son perform a backward handspring.Zell was absolutely ecstatic, and had been practically bouncing off the walls as he raced off to tell everyone he knew. There was something incredibly infectious about Zell's laughter, in his father's extremely biased opinion, and he almost felt like turning a cartwheel himself.

He felt so inspired that he was actually cleaning his desk. It was a rare occurrence that the doctor could bear to sort through the piles of paperwork that not only enveloped the desk, but also spilled over its edges. The filing cabinet was going to be a lot fuller than it had been in a while before this day was done.

There was a knock at the door, and the blonde turned to find Headmaster Cid standing in the doorway. The older, dark-haired man gave an amused smile at the surprise written across the doctor's face.

"Do you mind if I come in?" the Headmaster asked.

"Sure! Come on in!" the younger man replied. He scratched his head idly as he looked around the room. "Uh… I'm afraid there's only one chair… and the desk is such a mess…"

Cid waved his hand amicably. "Don't worry about it, Doctor. If there's one thing I've learned from all those darn speeches, it's how to be comfortable standing up."

Dr. Dincht grinned. "Well, if you're sure… So how are you, old man?" he asked, leaning back on the desk.

"''Old man?'" The Headmaster repeated, folding his arms. "Please. I'm barely ten years your senior, Doctor."

"Well, a lot can happen in ten years, Cid. Look at Zell - he's not much older than ten and just this morning showed me a flawless backward handspring."

Cid smiled to himself. "Well, he certainly has a lot of energy. It seems he finally found the right way to channel it."

"That he did," said his father. "But enough of this fatherly babble. What brings you to my humble office?"

Cid paused before replying, unfolding his arms and studying his hands. "It has come to my attention that you have expressed some concern over the treatment of SeeD Tytha Alie."

The doctor's grin slid off his face and he sighed. "I was wondering when I'd be hearing about that."

"You must realise, doctor, that stripping a student of the ranking of SeeD is not a punishment we have ever performed before… let alone rejecting them and severing all their ties with Garden!"

"I know."

"What exactly is it about Miss Alie that makes you think she is deserving of such a thing?"

"She's not," Dincht said wretchedly, "and that's the worst of it." He pushed off the desk and began pacing back and forth. "She's one of the cheeriest and most upbeat people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. She's very intelligent and has a great sense of humour…

"But…?" Cid supplied.

"But…" the blonde turned to face the Headmaster. "She shouldn't be here. She's a dreamer, not a mercenary! Have you seen her sketches? Her poetry? She's certainly the best developing artist I've seen during my time here. She should be drawing for a living, not playing at soldiers."

"Don't you think that's for her to decide?" the Headmaster asked gently. "She seems quite happy to be here."

"And ordinarily that would be enough for me. But have you seen her medical record?"

"She's had a few accidents," Cid admitted.

"She's bloody careless!"

"Now, now…"

"She is and you know it! She's careless, she has little concentration and she can't think ahead. You can't afford to have someone like that on a battlefield, let alone a more specialised mission."

"Her Instructors seem to think otherwise."

"Then her Instructors are wrong!"

There was a silence as the two men watched each other. Doctor Dincht suddenly realised two things. Firstly, that his hands were clenched in fists. Secondly, that Cid himself was one of Tytha's Instructors.

"I'm sorry, Cid…" he started, relaxing his hands.

Cid stepped forward, clasping his hands in front of him. The doctor recognised the pose. It was usually reserved for admonishing rambunctious students. This did not bode well.

"It seems to me, doctor, that this is not about Miss Alie at all. In fact, I think you need to reassess which battle you are fighting."

The blonde rubbed a hand across his face. "Please spare me the runaround, Cid. What do you mean?"

"I think your true complaint is over the way we Instructors select our SeeDs. Am I right?"

The older man's dark eyes glared frostily into the doctor's blue.

"Headmaster, please do not make this personal. I'm just asking you to review the way you train your students."

"Refusing to consider personal implications is always a mistake, Doctor. You want me to raise the expectations of SeeD? I suggest you consider what effect that will have on the other students, your 'son' included."

Parelan's breath left him as the Headmaster's implications sunk in. He stared at the older man, stunned.

"I'm sure I don't need to remind you of Zell's records, Doctor. They are not unlike SeeD Tytha's own. I'm sure you would have noticed the likeness yourself."

Cid turned to leave the room as Dr. Dincht slumped against his desk.

"And Doctor?" Cid called over his shoulder. "Try not to make this personal."

The desk was now bare but for two folders; two names. Tytha Alie and Zell Dincht. Zell's folder had never been filed away since the blonde's entry to Garden. It had always been where the doctor could easily access it - on his desk. But as the doctor grew busier and messier, the folder had been buried under the maelstrom of paper that was now stacked against the filing cabinet.

Doctor Dincht was pacing around in a daze. He'd ordered lunch from the cafeteria, but had barely touched it since it arrived. He knew exactly what was in those two folders. He'd written every line and had more than a professional interest in both. He didn't need to read them… he didn't need to put them side by side to compare the two… and yet he never had before. Never before had he connected his personal misgivings about Garden's effectiveness with his son. Zell was a great student, wasn't he? Enthusiastic, skilled, with a keen interest and a tendency to bounce back from whatever life threw at him…

The phrase stuck in his mind. Hadn't he been thinking exactly the same thing about Tytha? That her quick recovery skills meant she didn't learn? The Headmaster was right. The two were much too similar.

The doctor stopped pacing and squeezed his eyes closed. _I'm sure I don't need to remind you of Zell's records, Doctor…_

Soon after his eighth birthday, Zell had broken his left arm during a gymnastics lesson with his Instructor, Kelo Ender. At age ten, like Tytha, he'd had a run-in with a Grat and ended up comatose from a nasty blow to the head. On that information alone, there'd be not much cause for concern, but the break had occurred because he'd attempted a dive from a wooden horse on his first lesson and the Grat incident had been part of a dare - he'd been challenged by another cadet to steal one of the mother Grat's eggs from it's nest.

__

They are not unlike Tytha's own…

Perhaps Zell didn't exhibit the utter carelessness that Tytha did, but Tytha herself hadn't shown as much of it at Zell's age. The signs were definitely there, though. Headstrong, overexcitable, and unable to see the consequences of his actions…

There'd been no accidents lately, though… perhaps that showed that, unlike Tytha, Zell was learning? His father sincerely hoped so.

He glanced over at the stack paper against the filing cabinet and sighed. _If Cid hadn't come in this morning, I might have had all that sorted by now. _He crossed wearily to the filing cabinet and picked up the top sheet.

"Dr. Dincht! Dr. Dincht!"

The man in demand looked up from the last few papers at the source of the panicked voice.

"Yes? What is it?"

The agitated cadet danced from foot to foot. "There's been an accident! We didn't mean it, I swear!"

The doctor straightened. "Don't worry about that now. What happened and where?"

"We were in the training centre," the boy said, and bit his lip. "He's bleeding… I think he hurt his head…"

"Is he away from the monsters?" Parelan cut in.

"Yeah… we got him to the Secret Area… I'm really sorry!"

"You've done the right things so far," the doctor said as he grabbed his medical kit from a hook on the wall. He turned to the cadet, who was still rubbing his arm frantically. "Look, if you want to help, see if you can get me a bucket of water for me. And Instructor Foset should be in the cafeteria. Get her to guide you back through the Training Centre."

The boy nodded and dashed off. Parelan followed him down the corridor and turned left, breaking through a trio of girls as he hurried to the Training Centre. As he reached the entrance to the humid jungle, he pulled a small whistle from his pocket and raised it to his mouth. There was no sound as he blew through the instrument, but the rustling in the surrounding bushes told of Grats scurrying away. Clenching the whistle in his teeth, he continued running, every exhale sending up a wave of rustling. As he neared the entrance to the Secret Area, he dropped the whistle back into his pocket and broke through the archway.

Against the backdrop of the setting sun was a disturbing scene. Five junior cadets and an older man were crowded around a sixth student, lying unmoving on the ground. As the doctor approached, the Instructor motioned for the cadets to stand back. Parelan could now see the boy on the ground. More importantly, he could see the blood and dirt that covered the left side of his face and stained his hair bright crimson.

"What happened?" the doctor asked as he knelt beside the boy. He took note of the boy's chest rising and falling then took a cloth and a flask of water from his bag, wet the cloth and began washing the boy's neck as the Instructor answered.

"He got in the way of Lowen's cat-o-nine-tails. Hit him across the face."

The doctor's fingers had already found the pulse at the boy's throat and his attention moved further upwards. The entire left side of the boy's face was a mess of torn flesh. In one place, the doctor could see the kid's cheekbone. Parelan took a breath and forced himself to concentrate on what he was doing, rather than what he was doing it _to_.

"…Where's this Lowen now?" the doctor asked of the Instructor. _Look after all patients._

"I sent him to get you," the man replied. _Good. At least he's doing something to help._ The Instructor's voice had sounded a little strained, but also familiar. The doctor glanced up for a second.

"Thought that was you, Kelo. Where's…"

"…Pa?"

Parelan Dincht stared down at his son. His hand froze.

Zell lapsed into unconsciousness again.

Cid entered the Secret Area, for once not there to send over-excitable couples back to their respective dorms. Instructor Ender looked up as he passed then resumed speaking softly to six of the seven cadets on the balcony. The seventh was at the opposite end, seemingly asleep on the floor. He was lying with his head facing away from the Headmaster, and there was blood in his hair. Resna Foset was setting up a stretcher beside the boy.

The last person on the balcony was leaning against the railing and also facing away from Cid, staring out over the treetops at the bright lights of Garden's central sectors.

As the Headmaster joined him at the railing, he murmured, "Could you spare a cigarette?"

"You don't smoke, doctor," Cid reminded him softly.

The blonde man laughed, a harsh sound quite unlike the heartfelt chuckles Cid had grown accustomed to. "Aren't I usually the one telling you that?" the doctor mused. "But right now, I can understand why I keep having to ask you to get rid of them. I don't suppose I can drink, either. No. I shouldn't do that."

There was a heavy silence but for the murmuring of the children. The Headmaster broke it first.

"How is he?"

The doctor still didn't turn his head. "…Alive," he stated after a moment. "His vital signs are stable, but he's lost a lot of blood so I'll need to keep him resting up in the Infirmary for a couple of days. His… face needed stitches despite the healing magic I used on him, so it will still leave quite a few scars."

"I'm relieved," Cid said.

"He almost lost an eye."

Cid had no reply for that.

"You know how it happened?" Parelan asked. Cid didn't answer; he wasn't expected to. "Kelo was training one kid to use a cat-o-nine-tails while the others were supposed to be watching. But Zell decided to show the others the backward handspring he learned this morning. He leapt right into the path of the whip."

The older man looked over at the doctor and hesitated. "It was a dangerous decision the Instructor made…"

"No," the younger man cut in. He stood up straight and looked at Cid for the first time since he'd arrived.

"No, Cid. It was a stupid, careless thing for Zell to do. You were right about him. He's just as much of a problem as Tytha is."

"I didn't mean it like that…" Cid protested.

Dr. Dincht cut over him. "Both of them think they are invincible. They think they are ready to take on anything that comes for them." He took a deep breath. "And that's why I have to ask you again to change your teaching methods. Because they're not, Cid. They're not even close."

"Parelan-"

"No, Cid. That's all. I resign."

With that, the blonde turned from the stunned Headmaster and moved to tend to his son.

****

Yesh shirree. Looking back on this chapter, it could well have been a story on it's own. In fact, I even know what happens next and am currently trying to work out if I can work it into the story somewhere else. I don't want to spend another chapter on Parelan at this point in time, and this chapter is too long as it is to add in any more. It isn't even part of the main plotline and look what's happened! (Sigh). Now then…

AUTHORS:

Faery-of-fiction (you're so dedicated and perceptive. Unlike Squall - that's why he didn't recognise Irvine)

Seventhe (hehe, you're funny. You sound like me! Um, that's supposed to be a compliment, I think…)

Vick330 (ask and you shall be answered…later. And you have an interesting point there about the confusion. Hmm… By the by, I hope this chapter answered some of your early questions, though I'd been planning it before you asked them, too… if there's still confusion, please let me know)

Oh, and I have a feeling I should mention that in this chapter, I borrowed two ideas from two great authors without their permission:

The silent whistle that scares away Training Centre monsters comes from "Sowing The SeeDs" by Greenbeans;

And the fact that Cid smokes was brought in because it is part of Geitzeng's three-part series (Figlio Perduto, Pity the Child, A Question of Honor)

Okay, so they're not huge story elements but it feels nice to give some sort of continuity or 'blending' of stories to keep the same 'world'.

I'm pretty sure I've been doing the same thing throughout the story so far, and I'll try to mention those as well, but until then, the only one I can recall is the idea of Rinoa being in the car at the time of Julia's crash wasn't my own. I think it came from Ashbear's "Castles In The Sky", but I haven't read the story for a while so I'm not completely certain.

So then, remember (because I nearly forgot): Read, Review, and Roneo! Um, on second thoughts, don't. The last one, I mean! Just don't do the last one! Oh, dammit. Well, see you next time!

Draic

P.S. The next chapter should be up pretty soon, seeing as it is already written - I just need to check it once more.

This chapter is dedicated to Greenbeans "Sowing the SeeDs" and Gietzeng's serieseses, as apology for stealing cigarettes and whistles while they weren't paying attention.

(Besides, Dark Phoenix still isn't an author, so I can't advertise any Dark Phoenixy stories)

Seriously, both are FANTASTIC stories, but plenty long - get yourself a meal and a cushion

(All packed? Let's go!)

http:?storyid=385337

(gietzeng - "Figlio Perduto)


	14. Journey

**__**

Disclaimer: You get the drift. I don't own Squaresoft's FF8 concepts, blah blah blah.

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Fourteen: Journey

I awoke feeling worse than when I went to bed and cursing the time I'd spent training myself to wake at sunrise. I'd been plagued by dreams I could only half-remember. In one, two familiar children had been having a conversation in an old ruin. In another, Rinoa tuned into a chocobo and pecked me mercilessly while I chased after another Rinoa who I could never reach even though she just stood there and watched me run.

I did eventually make it out of bed and was going to skip my morning shower in favour of grabbing some coffee from the cafeteria, but once I grabbed my leather jacket from the desk I caught myself hunting frustratedly for a long purple bandana. I slapped myself mentally and decided that I needed to be awake right that moment, or I'd probably find myself searching for a coffee machine in Dr. Kadowaki's supply cupboard. So I took the cold shower and felt slightly better for it.

I still made the trip to the cafeteria, but by that time the place was crowded and so I grabbed my drink and a random pastry and beat a hasty retreat to somewhere a bit quieter.

I believe that food and drink were prohibited from the library, but from the look of the librarian on duty, she was awake far too early to notice anything less than a Lunar Cry aimed right at the library roof. Although, noticing a disheveled pigtail as I sneaked past, she would probably perk up a little if Zell came bouncing in.

I took a seat by a window and watched the waves roll by as I sipped my coffee. We were headed for the southernmost island of Centra from our position at Trabia Garden, so the quickest and most direct route took us north. Which meant that we were going to be on open sea for the next few days. And while I could probably blame the strange dreams on the unfamiliar motions of the Garden, I wasn't in any position to complain. I could, however, try to quicken the trip.

With that thought in mind, I crossed to a reference terminal and brought up a world map. I wasn't about to dispute Xu's knowledge of Centra - I heard she was actually brought up on the continent - but I wasn't as confident about Nida's grasp of geography - though to his credit, he had charted us a remarkably smooth course so far. Just to be safe, I could at least make sure we were headed in the right direction.

I zoomed in on the west coast of lower Centra and opened an information screen on the area. Sure enough, there was both a lighthouse and nearby ruins on the Cape of Good Hope. Whether or not it was our orphanage there was no way to tell, although the name 'Cape of Good Hope' did send a sort of shiver through my mind.

Our last known position was just south of Trabia Garden, so assuming we'd moved moved east to avoid the mountains, we'd have entered the ocean somewhere around…

"Good morning, Commander."

Irritation flared at the all-too familiar voice and phrasing, tearing me from my thoughts. I rolled my eyes and turned to stare at Xu. As always, she looked fresh-faced and had not so much as a speck of lint on her pressed SeeD uniform. Despite her height, she radiated authority. Flanked by Quistis, the ultra-perfectionist, it was hard not to feel like a misbehaved and very scruffy cadet beings dragged to detention. After all, both these women had taught me various classes over the years.

"Xu." _What do you want now?_

"There are some things we need to discuss with you, Squall," Quistis supplied.

I looked at her. "Like what?"

She grimaced and looked at Xu. _This is not going to be pleasant. So much for my peaceful morning._

"Like the fact that I just spent the night with the Garden Staff trying to convince them that going to Centra is the right move _despite_ the fact that aside from the little Quistis has told me I don't have a _clue_ why we're going," Xu snapped. "We may have to follow your orders but I swear this is the last time I'm going to take responsibility for your decisions. You are the goddamn commander of Garden and it's high time you started acting like it!" By the end of her speech she was shouting. Quistis put hand on her arm and looked nervously towards the librarian.

__

It's not like I wanted the job! I yelled inside my head. _It was kind of forced on me! You have a problem with the way I do things, you can go find someone else!_

I was struggling to keep my expression blank. I wanted to scream.

"Squall…" Quistis began, and I rolled my eyes, waiting for her to ask me to talk, second-guess my thoughts, or try to calm me down. "Whether or not you wanted to be commander has nothing to do with it." I felt like I'd been hit. I stared at her in shock.

"You _are_ the commander," she continued, "and there's nothing you or I can do can change that. It was the Headmaster's decision to make, and only the Headmaster can select a new commander. Until we can sort through this mess that Cid has made, this is _who you are_."

I closed my eyes, trying to escape the truth of her words. I could feel that small voice in me rising. _Why couldn't they just leave me alone? _it whined. _All I wanted was to be left alone! _But I knew that was not an answer. I couldn't just ignore the situation this time.

I had committed myself to Balamb Garden. I was a SeeD; I had spent over a decade training here to _be_ a SeeD. But more than that, the Garden was my home. If I turned my back on this and walked away… what would I do? Where would I go? I couldn't… I just couldn't let this place go. I let out a bitter laugh as I realised the irony of the situation. I had always tried to be completely independent - to never have to rely on other people, or become tied down by their problems. But I had buried myself so deeply within Garden that I couldn't begin to comprehend leaving. _Independent? Hah!_

I opened my eyes again and looked from face to face. Xu had reigned in her anger and though impatient, she was not without concern and recognised that she was in unknown territory - Quistis carried the lead here. Quistis herself was probably running through every thought in my head, judging my reaction and calculating the difficulty they would have getting me to comply. Yet her face showed only compassion. She was giving me time to think, keeping the pressure off… and waiting me out. It was my move.

I took a deep breath, hesitated, then took another.

__

If Garden decreed that I was commander…

"What do I have to do?"

If either of them had smiled I might have hit them. I was at breaking point here. But instead, they both just pulled up a chair. The tension had drained from Xu's expression but if either of them had so much as twitched a lip I had missed it.

"I want to make sure we all understand the situation," Xu began. "So first of all, I want to know exactly _why_ you want to sail to Centra." I stared at her blankly.

"…Because of the Sorceress."

"Yeah, right. Like I'll believe that," she snorted. My face heated and I opened my mouth, but she overruled me. "If you really had the sorceress in mind, we would be hunting down Galbadia Garden. Now why do you _really_ want to go?"

I clenched my jaw. She was right, but I wasn't ready to give up just yet.

"The Sorceress used to live there," I told her icily. "She used to be an ordinary person before she went ballistic. We're trying to find out more about-"

"I know all about Matron," Xu informed me. I shot a glance at Quistis but she seemed equally puzzled. "And that's the same cock-and-bull story I fed the Garden Staff, so that one's not going to work," the dark-haired woman finished.

"How do you-" Quistis began, but Xu held up a hand to stop her.

"Later," she said. "Let's just stick to the topic." She returned her gaze to me. "Same question."

__

Last chance, her expression warned. I sighed.

"She was our mother," I replied simply. "I _do_ want to know more about her… but the real reason we want to go is because we don't really remember anything of what happened there. I'm not sure if it's because of the GFs or something else entirely…" Was it my imagination, or did Xu suddenly look uncomfortable? I trailed off and looked at her suspiciously, but her face was blank.

"We've lost huge portions of our memories, Xu. And we want them back," Quistis finished with an unusual fierceness.

But I'd kept my eyes on Xu and there was no doubt about it - she had flinched slightly at Quistis' words. What was she hiding?

"Right," she said, ignoring my pointed looks. "So you're going to the orphanage to regain your childhood. All well and good… _except _that you're dragging the entire population of Garden halfway around the world so that you and your friends can catch up on old times!"

I just stared at her as what she'd said began to sink in.

"Squall, if someone asks you why we're going to Centra," Quistis asked softly, "what are you going to say?"

I blinked and gave a start. Had I actually not realised what I'd been asking when I gave Xu our destination? What would I have thought had Cid suddenly informed us we were all going to, say, Winhill? I felt like kicking myself. How could I have been so _stupid_?

"It's just lucky for you that your Matron happens to be the Sorceress," Xu said. "Since we have no idea where G-Garden is at the moment, the Staff couldn't come up with any better option than to find out as much as possible about Edea. After all, she is currently the most dangerous woman on the planet. The orphanage is the only lead we have at the moment. That's what we'll tell the students."

She sighed. "We can cover for you this time, Squall. But you have to understand… you are responsible for every person in Garden. Your decisions change their lives and limit their own choices. They rely on you. Just try to keep that in mind."

She stood and saluted me with a small smile. I rose and returned the favour, but my mind was elsewhere.

__

They… rely_ on me?_

Me? The loner who couldn't care less about others, who wouldn't even listen to their problems, much less _solve _them?

I couldn't believe it. This was a nightmare. I raised a hand to my head and nearly jumped as I suddenly heard someone moving.

"Is it okay if I use the terminal?" Quistis asked as I stared at her. I hadn't realised she was still here. She gestured to the console I'd been using. "Squall?"

I blinked, trying to snap out of it. "…Y-yeah, fine."

I shut down the atlas and left as quickly as I could short of running. I glanced at the girl with a pigtail but noticed with some relief that she had nodded off at the desk.

"Squall!" I heard Quistis call from the terminals.

"Later!" I shouted back, waking the librarian with a start. She stared at me blearily as I darted through the exit.

__

Rely on me? I repeated to myself as I strode through the hallway. _Everyone in Garden… _My_ responsibility?_ A male in SeeD uniform nodded to me as he passed and I stared at him askance. _Why did he do that? I don't know him. I don't want to know him! How can I take responsibility for people I don't know?_

I looked around casually as I entered the central walkway and to my heightened senses, the normally quiet corridors were filled with people who watched me as I moved by.

__

What should we do, Commander? their faces seemed to say. _Where will you send us next?_

Where did all these people come from? I wondered fearfully. I quickly turned to the left and forced myself to look straight ahead. Even so, I managed to bump into a female cadet. She opened her mouth with an irritated look on her face which vanished as she realised who I was. _Oh, Hyne…_ I dodged around her and brushed away her apologies with a vague gesture.

__

How can they just accept that I'm their leader and lay their lives in my hands? Hearing the loud 'ding' of the elevator as its door opened, I instinctively turned the other way. _What the hell do they expect me to do?_

"Hey! Where d'ya think you're goin'?"

I'd found myself at the entry gates to Garden. I looked stonily at the receptionist. "Out," I snapped.

As I pushed through the turnstiles, the old man barked a laugh. "That right?" he said. "Ain't much 'out' to go to, boy."

I stopped and looked up. He was right, of course. The Garden was afloat. Beyond the next set of stairs was only a few paces of pavement and the open sea. I sighed. _So I'm stuck._ It took that thought to make me understand how badly I still wanted to run away from this problem. I closed my eyes. "Damn."

"What was you expecting?" the gatekeeper asked. "Balamb floatin' along with us?"

I ignored him.

"Dunno…" he continued. "I'd thought everyone here would've noticed the whole damned thing uprootin' itself like that."

"The water's a bit of a giveaway," I said, not really caring if he'd heard me or not.

"So I thought. And yet here you are," he shot back.

I opened my eyes. "Too many people in there."

I could _feel _him giving me the superior look. "No more'n usual. You sure you're not blind, kid?"

He was probably right. I'd probably been imagining the feeling of the crowds pressing in on me. What worried me was that somehow I'd never noticed all the people who lived in the same building I did. I really _did_ live in my own little world, didn't I? Except for times like these, when little old men kept interrupting my thoughts…

"Not even a busy day," he was saying. "Not that it ever gets any busier here. You're the most excitement I've had all week." He sniffed. "Though you're none too exciting, neither."

I wasn't quite sure why I was still standing here and listening to this guy. Perhaps it was because he didn't expect anything of me. Perhaps it was because he clearly couldn't care less if I was the commander or not. On the other hand, perhaps he didn't know. I certainly wasn't about to fill him in.

I turned to stare at him. "So why are you still here?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "The comp'ny," he confided, and snorted his derision. I shook my head, amused despite myself, and turned back to the sea. "'Sides, soon enough some little bugger'll try to go fishing offa there - and if I'm not here to tell 'em what for, who will?" he finished, triumphant.

"Oy!" he added, as I slowly moved toward the stairs. "Don't you go getting' any ideas!"

I rolled my eyes. _Everyone's a troublemaker_. I selected a step a few from the top and watched the water churn to froth and dissolve again. I didn't feel quite so queasy anymore, but I was still far from accepting of the whole situation.

I'd been made Commander through some crazed whim of the Headmaster's. Although I could perhaps understand the stress he was under, he obviously hadn't been thinking clearly. I mean, I'd been a SeeD for less than half a year, I still hadn't completed either of the two missions that had been assigned to me… and I barely noticed that other people existed. _Sure. Poster-child material. Of course it's my destiny to lead Garden._ Well, he'd _made_ it my destiny quite effectively, hadn't he?

The first I'd heard about the new position was the same time he announced it to the whole Garden. I wasn't even given the opportunity to refuse, which had made me so furious at the time… I'd calmed myself down, fairly certain that Cid had made up the position on the spot - but he'd directed me to the Garden Code, and I'd realised with a sinking heart that I wasn't going to get out of it so easily.

Although the position had never been manned before, it had been written into the Code in the very beginning. The Commander was basically a title on par with the Headmaster, but while the Headmaster was in charge of running the Garden as a school, the Commander was in charge of military operations - running the Garden as an army. Cid's reasoning was sound - he wasn't a militant man himself, so if the need arose, someone would have to lead the Garden in his place. The position of Commander was evoked by the Headmaster and dismissed by the Headmaster - no one else. I don't doubt the possibility had crossed Cid's mind that should the Headmaster leave, the Garden would still run under the Commander - _had_ to run under the Commander, because until another Headmaster was selected, the Commander could not be dismissed. Personally, I considered it a disgusting oversight on Cid's part - who knows what kind of person could end up Commander and unchallenged dictator in a Headmaster's absence. Someone like Seifer… that would be a nightmare. Or someone like me…

So not only was I stuck as Commander until a new Headmaster could be elected, I also had to take over the Headmaster's duties in the meantime. And with things the way they were at the moment, it would be a long time before a new Headmaster would be selected.

I'd never wanted this kind of responsibility. I had always stopped after looking out for myself. I'd always flown solo, so to speak. Sure, there had been times during training where I was required to work in a team, but never as a leader… until my graduation. The Timber mission. I'd been selected to lead over Selphie and Zell. At the time, I thought nothing of it. A simple enough task, I told myself. But from the moment I'd set foot on the Owls' train, things just got… complicated. Firstly through the numerous obstacles Rinoa created - her actions, her 'plans', the way she tried to run things… even just her presence would cause problems. I hadn't even worked out how to deal with her when Seifer appeared - and then the whole mission came to pieces. I hadn't been able to stop Zell from confessing Garden's involvement, I hadn't been able to stop the Sorceress from taking Seifer… and because of my failures, so many people had died. That should have been it for me. I'd failed my mission, I'd failed as a leader, and I'd failed as a SeeD. I'd only managed to hold it together because of Quistis' help. I would have been more than happy to let her take over from that point, but she had never shown the slightest intention to - and of course I wasn't going to be asking her to take my problems from me. Arrival at Galbadia only to be assigned another mission, another party member completely unknown to me. I didn't understand my position, I didn't understand my team, and I didn't have a clue what I was doing. But because I pretended I never had problems, when Caraway had asked for a leader, they had all looked to me.

Despite my misgivings I accepted leadership… I should have stopped right there. Just said 'no', and let Quistis take my part…

But no, it had already been set in stone even then, hadn't it? Everyone was already assuming I would once again take the lead… that was really the whole problem, wasn't it? Even Cid thought that since I had done it before, I could do it again. He had no idea how much I'd messed up, how many decisions turned out wrong, how many situations spiraled out of my control. Because of me, Trabia Garden was in ruins. Because of me, a Sorceress had taken control of Galbadia Garden. Because of me, Seifer was leading an army against us.

I wasn't cut out to be a leader. At least someone else had finally realised it - though Xu had no more control over the situation than I did. For better or worse, we were stuck with me. So I would have to work out how a leader was supposed to operate - and fast.

"Hey, kid!"

It was the gatekeeper again. "What?" I called back, not turning around.

"You got a visitor!" he shouted back.

__

What? I turned to him, curious - and sure enough, there was Rinoa, waving goodbye to the receptionist and heading towards me. Noticing I was watching her, she stopped and smiled. I was surprised; for whatever reason, we hadn't parted on good terms last time we spoke. In fact, hadn't she said she'd 'given up on me'? Why was she still smiling at me?

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

I shook my head and watched as she moved closer and sat one step down from me, a little to my right. We sat in silence for a while, enjoying the view - although to be honest, I kept glancing over at Rinoa. She made me a little nervous. She was always so open and impulsive. I never had a clue what she was going to do next. It was difficult to work out how to react to her.

What was she doing here? She must have had a reason to come all the way out here - like the old man said, it wasn't as though this place was used too often since the Garden left the ground. On the other hand, what was _my_ reason for being here? I'd sort of drifted around and just turned up here - couldn't the same thing have happened to Rinoa? Fate, perhaps? I shook my head. _Don't be stupid. Not fate. A coincidence._ Though it wasn't like Rinoa to wander around aimlessly, the way I had. She was too aware of everything to just drift here by accident…

It was me, wasn't it? She'd seen me here and wanted to talk. _Don't jump to conclusions, Squall. Just because she meant to come here doesn't mean she expected you to be here._ And yet here she was, beside me, knowing I was here… and yet the minutes wore on and still she wasn't saying anything. I shifted uncomfortably. Did she expect _me_ to do something? I heard her sigh and I could stand it no longer.

"I'm sorry, Squall."

"Rinoa, I…"

I stopped. _What?_ "Sorry?" I repeated, unsure what she meant.

She looked away from the ocean for a second and instead looked at me. Caught in her eyes, I could barely hear what she was saying.

"For yesterday. I guess I put my foot in it again and I wanted to apologise." She turned back to the water.

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Apologise? As far as I could work out, she'd asked me something important and I hadn't heard. Why should _she_ apologise?

"…Okay," I replied cautiously.

She laughed quietly. "Right."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, starting to feel edgy again.

She waved a hand at me. "It's just that anyone else might have said, 'Don't worry about it' or try to make a joke of it or tell me there was nothing to apologise for." She grinned over her shoulder at me. "You're very different from most people I've met, Squall."

I glowered at her. I still felt like she was poking fun at me. "Thanks," I snapped.

She turned around fully. "Oh, don't be like that," she said. "I meant it in a good way."

I deliberately didn't look at her, but I was listening…

"I mean, you're antisocial, a cranky-pants and a downright meanie when you want to be…"

__

That's it… I stood up and turned to go.

"…you don't know how to have a good time and you're absolutely clueless when it comes to girls," she continued, beginning to giggle.

I clenched my teeth and kept walking.

"… but you're a sweet, decent guy, you honestly care about your friends, and we can always rely on you to be there when we need you."

I paused for a moment. I wasn't quite sure how to react to that. So I just kept walking.

"You're a great leader," Rinoa added. "We all look up to you."

My eyes widened and I nearly fell over as my boot hooked on something. I could hear Rinoa laughing behind me.

I spun around and stalked back to her. "Let me just get one thing straight, Miss Heartilly. I am no more a leader than you are. Got that?"

She stared at me, unperturbed. "Sure you are. You're leading this Garden right now - and you're doing a fine job as far as I can see."

I wanted to scream.

"See, the thing is," I hissed, "I'm not! I just spent my morning being told off for…" I took a deep breath.

Rinoa looked concerned. "They didn't _fire_ you or something?" she asked, worried.

"They _can't_! Only the Headmaster can dismiss a Commander, and Cid's long gone."

She shrugged. "So what are you worried about?"

I gaped at her. "I'm worried about-" I stopped myself. I wasn't having this discussion.

A look of understanding came over her face. "You're worried that you're not good enough to lead Garden?" she asked incredulously.

I was falling apart. I had to go.

"Squall, that's the most idiotic-" she began. "Squall! Where are you going?" I heard her stamping her foot. "Damn it, Squall, listen to me when I'm talking to you!"

There was the patter of boots on pavement and suddenly Rinoa's voice was trailing me.

"Fine, we'll do it your way," she muttered.

"Squall, do you honestly think Headmaster Cid would have chosen you as Commander if he didn't think you were qualified for the job?"

__

No, I just think I'd fooled him and everyone else into thinking I'd be able to cope if he dumped Garden in my hands. I pushed through the turnstiles and ignored the grinning receptionist as he nodded at me.

"So maybe you aren't a natural born leader," she persisted. "Maybe you have to work for it. Well I know for a fact that nobody works bloody well harder than you; I couldn't stop you if I tried."

I quickened my pace as we entered the main hallway. The students were not going to see me running, but neither was I going to make a spectacle of myself for much longer. Rinoa fell behind for perhaps a step or two, then quickened her own pace as well.

"And you've learned so much, Squall! You've spent so much time _as_ a leader, you can't tell me you don't know anything about leadership."

"You're not a mindless follower, Squall. You don't sit around and wait for orders, you act. I was your _client_ and you couldn't stop yourself from trying to take over. You were downright mean when you thought I was being stupid. A follower would never question their leader's orders like that."

__

That was SeeD training! Selphie and Zell were feeling the same way!

"Zell and Selphie never questioned any of _your_ orders, I noticed. I was insanely jealous that you could control other SeeDs like that. If I had even _tried_ to take charge of you and the other SeeD, every one of you would have walked all over me.

I realised I had been walking slower in order to hear her more clearly, so I quickened my pace again. Rinoa sighed.

"Quistis used to be your teacher, right? How come _she_ never took over from you? You've proven to me that if SeeD have a problem with their leadership - boy, do you hear about it. But I don't recall hearing any criticism from _Quistis_, do you?"

We were attracting quite a few stares now - the Commander of Garden was obviously being harrassed by a pretty young woman. I heard more than a few chuckles as we passed.

"And remember how Irvine was messing around and giving you a hard time when he joined us? Seen any of that lately? He respects you, Squall. Ever since that stupid clock thing in the parade. I was there, remember? I saw him freaking out, and then _you_ talked to him and got him to go ahead with it. I bet you haven't had a problem with him since."

I sighed. She really was making sense. But in the end, it was just another way to keep me doing what I really didn't want to do.

Rinoa had paused when she heard me sigh, but when I didn't speak, she pressed on.

"Look, you've had some really difficult decisions to make, but the important thing is you _did_ make them. And even though it must have really sucked to have to do something like that, if you got into a similar situation later on, you'd still make the decision."

We had reached my dorm. I entered the room and turned to face Rinoa, making sure she couldn't come in. Thankfully, she didn't try.

"You've dealt with everything that comes your way, and though I do think you could use a break, there is no reason why you are not perfectly capable of leading this Garden. You've got the courage to make tough decisions and you've got the respect of the people who will carry out your orders. What more do you need?"

"The wisdom to know which decisions to make."

By the look on her face, I'd surprised her as much as I'd stunned myself with such an honest and heartfelt answer to her question. For a moment, it felt like I was locked in place, staring into Rinoa's eyes with the certainty that she was staring into mine with the same intensity.

"That's the part you work on," she said, smiling triumphantly

In that final twitch of her lips lay the end of her spell. I felt at once as though she had reached through my eyes and stolen some part of me while I'd let my guard down. I hope I concealed my terror.

"_Goodbye_, Rinoa."

"Nice talking to you, Squall," Rinoa replied. "See you later."

I thrust the door between us. A few heartbeats later, I leaned against it, resting my head on the wooden surface. I stayed there for perhaps half an hour.

I can't say what I was thinking during that time. As I think about it now, I get the impression of a great wind blowing through me - a wind that had been building up outside my battlements until it scattered them like so many feathers. I knew that the wind would die down, and the feathers become stakes once more. When that time came, I would rebuild my fortress… but in the meantime, I stood in the mess and numbly enjoyed the fresh air.

I revived. My stomach grumbled and I went to feed it.

I took special care to avoid dark-haired women. I wanted no more feathers.

****

Well, due to popular demand, this fic is back again in it's original form - and with a new chapter! Everyone, the most frequent word in my reviews are 'confusing'. That's one of the biggest reasons I HAVE to make a re-work of the story. But in the meantime, story will be found here - just don't expect it to be incredibly polished - I'm NOT satisfied with the way things are at the moment.

The only question I've received about the last chapter that I have to clear up now is:

Stormy.hopes asked about whether Rinoa is/was as old as Ellone in the other world. The answer is no. They are their usual ages - Rinoa is younger than Ellone. I guess I wasn't really thinking about their ages when I thought up that bit. I'm still not sure if Squall would be able to tell the difference. See, he wants so badly to find Sis that when he finds someone who looks like Sis USED to, he convinces himself it IS Ellone. Does that not work?

Oh, and this chapter would be dedicated again to Vick330. You're all getting much better at critical reviews, but he's been doing it the longest - thanks, Vick! And he has so many good stories I don't really think I need to list one… (okay, I'm lazy again and can't remember which ones I've already recommended)

http:www.fanfiction.net/vick330


	15. Preparation

**__**

Disclaimer: I like stuff. Like this disclaimer stuff. Isn't it fun to say in so many ways that I don't own Squaresoft's concepts (particularly for the game of Final Fantasy VIII)?

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Fifteen: Preparation

"Wake _up_, Squall!" the voice was calling. "Come - oh." Quistis' voice trailed off as I opened the door to her, fully dressed in my uniform and ready to go. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You look so shocked," I said, pretending to be hurt.

She flushed and toyed with her hair to hide her embarrassment. "It's just that… you know…"

"It's okay, Quistis; I do realise that I'm not _quite_ as much of a morning person as you are," I teased, stepping into the corridor and closing the door behind me.

She laughed and slugged me softly in the arm; we both knew exactly how much of an understatement my words had been.

It had been a regular habit for me to either turn up late for homeroom or not turn up at all - the reason being, I preferred the comfort of my own bed to the harshness of the homeroom chairs, the flickering monitors, and Instructor Foset's voice. It had gotten me in trouble on many an occasion, but I never managed to shake the habit on my own. Then Quistis decided to intervene.

Quistis had sworn once that she would do everything in her power to make sure I would never sleep in again. Of course, I'd been horrified at the thought, but her early efforts had proven fairly futile: various forms of alarms were, of course, slept through after a week; sending me to bed earlier only meant I got to stay in bed longer; and when we'd shifted my bed so the sun would hit me in the face when it rose, I would wake - late - with the curtains closed. Quistis was probably right to suspect my own hands on the last count, even though I can say with all truthfulness that I have no memory of ever doing such a thing. A couple of months after we started going out, she gave up the indirect methods and came to wake me herself every morning. It had worked so well that she'd been waking me almost every morning for months now. I guess we'd both taken the arrangement for granted.

"So how in Hyne's name did you manage to get up without me?" Quistis asked mockingly as we walked down the hall. "It couldn't have been anything short of a T-Rexaur rampage, surely? Perhaps a meteor crashed through your roof? Lunar Cry?"

"Oh, much worse," I replied.

She smiled. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Boredom."

Her nose crinkled. "What?"

"Boredom," I repeated, giving a playful tug on her nearest hair-ribbon. "I mean, so far this week all you've been doing is calling me awake. Where's the excitement in that? I remember when you used to use a bucket of water, or a spare Blizzard spell. Now that would really get my day off to a flying start."

I watched her shaking her head and pretending to ignore me, and sighed dramatically. "I just don't feel like you're even trying anymore, so why should I?"

It _was_ true - well, to an extent. I'd slept badly and woken far too early. For whatever reason, I couldn't get back to sleep, and had become so sick of turning back and forth that I'd actually been glad to get up when the sun rose. Cause of the morning's miracle: Boredom.

"Let me get this straight," Quistis began, "You're saying that you're going to wake up of your own accord from now on, just so you don't have to suffer the cliché of me yelling at you until you wake up?"

I grinned. "I'm afraid your voice will never be as startling as a Blizzard spell, my siren."

"Hmph." She replied. I wasn't at all sure I'd pulled off the compliment, but a slim hand soon found it's way into mine and gave it a small squeeze. "If only getting you out of bed at a reasonable hour was as easy as that," Quistis continued, ignoring the one traitorous hand.

I was pleased to see her so spirited, especially after the strange gloomy cloud she'd been under yesterday.

"I'm glad you turned up, anyway," I told her. "I'd be in a fair bit of trouble if I slept through the Field Exam as well as the written one." When she didn't respond, I added. "Though, come to think of it, I could still fit in at least another hour or-"

She whirled to face me. "Oh no, you don't! It's the first day in a year or so that you've actually been up early enough to have breakfast with me and I am _not_ missing this opportunity even if you fall asleep in your gravy again!"

I laughed at her and leaned in to close my lips on hers. Under my eyes, the skin of her cheek began to turn pink, but she didn't pull away. I remembered a time when she wouldn't even touch me in public, nor let me touch her. We'd been working on that.

In the end, I was the one to pull away; some instinct in the back of my mind told me it was the right thing to do. She looked up at me with those blue eyes and I smiled to reassure her. I leaned towards her once more and murmured into her ear, "I like it when you're like this."

She smiled. "I know."

We stood like that for a few moments more, then I said, "So, shall we go for that breakfast you wanted so badly?"

She chuckled. "Is food all you ever think about?" she chided. "When you're not sleeping, you're eating!"

"Best way to live," I responded with a grin.

We moved slowly apart and continued toward the cafeteria. Only our fingers remained intertwined.

It was over the remains of a plate of mashed potatoes that Quistis spoke.

"Squall, do you ever wonder what it would be like if… if things were different?"

I looked up at her, surprised. The last thing we'd talked about had been the horrible taste of the Cafeteria's latest specialty.

"You mean if Kadowaki actually picked the Bite Bug _out_ of the hot dogs?" I asked around a mouthful of egg.

She smiled briefly and looked down at her plate. She hadn't told me to swallow before I spoke. She hadn't even wrinkled her nose at me. Something was up.

"It'd be easier for you to get me out of bed, for a start," I continued, watching as her left hand crept up to a tuft of hair and began tugging softly, "but I know that isn't really what you meant." I put down my knife and fork. "So what's wrong?"

"Say that you…" she said, then hesitated. "Say that your parents turned up. What would you do?"

"Have you heard from your parents?" I asked instantly. Quistis quickly shook her head, and looked at me expectantly.

I considered the question. "Well… I guess I'd want to get to know them," I replied, still confused at the topic.

"What if they turned out to be really nice people?" she pressed, urgency rising in her voice. "If they said they wanted you to go to live with them, instead of here. Would you go?"

"Would I leave Garden?" I asked.

She nodded.

I could feel my forehead crinkling as I pondered the scenario; I rubbed at it absently in an attempt to smooth it out. Eventually I answered, "I honestly can't say for sure. I… don't think I could. There's too much of my life here… All I know is here in Garden. To be a SeeD is the goal that I've been aiming for all these years. To just give that up… I don't think I could do that."

Quistis nodded, and looked down at her plate. I moved my hand to rest on hers.

"But more than that," I continued, waiting until I'd caught her eyes once more, "everyone I've ever known or cared about is here. How could I just leave Garden and forget about them? I wouldn't do it… I'd never leave you behind."

A small smile emerged from her troubled face, and her left hand finally let go of her hair; I felt I'd said the right thing. I smiled back at her, and slowly let my hand move back to me. Leaving her still staring off into space with that same slight smile, I returned to my food; I 'd be thankful for it during the Exam.

A few moments later, Quistis' watch beeped; she gazed at it absently, as if wondering why it was there. I glanced at my own watch: It was time for homeroom.

"Those not participating in the Field Exam and those who failed yesterday's written test are to remain here in study hall," Instructor Foset informed us. "Field exam participants, we will be announcing the team assignments at 0900 hours. Use what time you have to prepare yourselves, as we'll be leaving directly afterwards. Are there any questions?"

"Can you tell us where the Exam is?" a cadet behind me asked.

The Instructor shook her head. "All relevant information will be given to you during transit. Is that all?"

No-one spoke. "Alright, then. Dismissed!"

I leaned back in my chair and released my breath; this was it. In less than half an hour I'd be leaving on a speeder to Hyne-knows-where, to do Hyne-knows-_what_, so I could finally become a SeeD.

A hand slapped down on my shoulder; I looked up to see Seifer. "You coming or not?" he asked, amused.

"Yeah," I replied. "Just thinking."

"Well, with only half an hour to prepare, you'd better start 'just thinking' while you _move_. I'll see you around," he said, and moved on.

Quistis was waiting for me outside. "So, did Seifer give you any great pearls of wisdom?" she asked as we walked to the elevator.

"Nah," I replied. "Just pointed out the timer ticking down above my head."

We joined the small group piling into the elevator, and the guy next to me pressed the button for first floor.

__

Ding!

Almost instantly, Quistis and I broke up into laughter.

I dressed in the crisp, pressed uniform of a SeeD cadet, wondering if this would be the last time I had to wear this tracksuit-like outfit.

My vision blurred momentarily, and a voice in my head said, _What the… oh… you're still here. …Taking your exam? Good luck, I guess. Have you checked your pocket yet?_

I should have been more surprised at the other guy addressing me directly this time, but I was more interested in his words. My pocket? I reached for my casual pants and checked both the pockets, pulling out a few gil, a napkin, and a stick of gum.

He'd probably meant the napkin, as I didn't recall putting it in my pocket. I idly popped the gum into my mouth as I unwrapped the crumpled paper.

'Yes. 23rd August.'

Theories of who this guy was sped around my mind, while any thoughts of preparation fled. He had the same name and birthday as me, and he was the same age as me, down to the current month. He was the _same person_ as me, living at the same time as me, and yet his reality was very different from my own. So… why were we hearing eachother's voices; seeing into eachother's. lives?

__

Alternate realities, I thought, having read the term somewhere before. I should go look it up on the Garden database and see what turned up.

__

Ding! "All SeeD candidates, report to the main hall. Repeat, all SeeD candidates, report to the main hall."

I swore as I remembered how important my own life was at the moment. I stuffed my feet into my boots, grabbed my spear from where I'd left it propped up against the wall, and sprinted out of the dorms, my untied laces clicking madly against the floor.

By the time I arrived, the Instructor in charge was already calling out the assigned teams. I just had to hope that he hadn't mentioned my name already. I looked around; there were more people here than I expected, and no one was paying any attention to me, so I ducked down to tie up my shoelaces.

"Junai Escalda!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Squad A, under Instructor Xu," he informed the girl. "Heslyn Guan!"

"Here, sir!"

"Squad F, under Instructor Kana."

__

There's a Squad F this year? That's unusual, I mused as I started on the other boot.

"Irvine Kinneas!"

"Sir!"

"Squad B, under Instructor Segal. Squall Leonhart!"

I stood up rather abruptly, having barely finished my laces. "Here, sir!" I called as I popped up.

The Instructor must have noticed my sudden appearance, because he fixed me with a disapproving stare as he said, "Squad B; Instructor Segal." I had barely time to realise I'd been put into Irvine's team when he shouted, "Quistis Miranh!"

"Here, sir!" I heard her call. _I don't suppose there'd be any chance of…_

"Squad D," he returned, "under Instructor Foset." _Damn._

I made my way to Instructor Kiros by way of Quistis. "In case I don't see you until after," I said, giving her a quick squeeze, "get out there and break a leg!"

She returned the hug a little awkwardly so as not to impale herself on my spear. "You too," she replied, "Just let it be Irvine's leg you break, and not your own."

I laughed with her, gripped her shoulder one last time, and left.

Irvine was already waiting with the Instructor. "There you are, Squall," Kiros said as I approached. "You have everything ready, I presume?" I answered in the affirmative and he nodded. "Good. Then we're just waiting on-"

"Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me," a voice interrupted.

Irvine pushed off the wall with the shade of a smirk: our third member was Selphie.

As the four of us headed off for the Parking Garage, Instructor Segal introduced the small brunette as our Squad Leader. Selphie blinked in surprise and I was pretty sure Irvine missed a step, but no-one made any comment. Actually, I was rather surprised at Irvine's silence - continued through the entire trip to Balamb Town. After everything he'd done to purposely stir us up, it was unsettling to have him in the same cramped vehicle as both myself and Selphie, yet acting so indifferent to us both. Perhaps it was the Instructor's presence that forced him to bite his tongue. Whatever it was, he'd been so quiet during the whole trip that I was actually startled when, on the Garden speeder, he returned the greeting of our Mission Commander. From the way Selphie eyed him as we resumed our seats, it seemed she'd been taken off-guard as well.

Our M.C., who'd introduced herself as 'Xu', was a short woman with straight, dark hair that framed a rather pretty face. However, as she spoke, I was surprised to discover the authority inherent in her voice.

She forged eye contact with each of us in turn before beginning her briefing, her gaze resting on our Squad Leader.

"Our client," she informed us, "is Trabia Garden."


	16. Forgotten

**__**

Disclaimer: I like stuff. Like this disclaimer stuff. Isn't it fun to say in so many ways that I don't own Squaresoft's concepts (particularly for the game of Final Fantasy VIII)?

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter Sixteen: Forgotten

We were off the open seas.

We had found the place that used to be our home.

But no more; our home had gone somewhere else.

The orphanage was a crumbling ruin. In a way, it had always been a ruin. But now, it seemed so desolate. The wind called through the doorways and nothing stirred.

I hadn't expected to feel so distraught. I suppose I never expected any emotion anymore.

I had hoped that somehow, seeing this place; this home; this haven, that everything would somehow become clear. That I might come to understand everything. Matron. Ellone. Squall.

Squall most of all.

We hadn't talked as we entered the ruins. There were no reminders of what we were supposed to be looking for. We'd given up that pantomime. We knew why we were here. So perhaps we all felt that we'd crossed some sort of barrier through time, and even a word might destroy the illusion of our lives. I could certainly feel the fragility.

We moved through the house as ghosts. No one touched anything. No one felt anything. And each of us came to be alone. Alone, we passed the rotting furniture and beds half-buried in slabs of cold stone. Passed windows bordered by glass shards and sickly-looking moss. It all just passed. And nothing came.

The place was familiar, there was no doubt about that. Every time I turned a corner the memory of the orphanage would interlace with the vision of the ruins. But, try as I might, I could not remember anything new - anything of myself or of the other children who had once shared this ruin with me and made it a home.

And, as I walked down the crumbling staircase to the sea, I finally came to realise that, no matter how long we all sat and talked, some times we would never remember. My whole childhood was gone, and I'd only ever get a faded, torn, and above all _shattered_ portrait to replace it.

Where was the point to all of this? Where was the meaning I had hoped to find? Where was my life?

Not here. No, not here.

There was no point continuing on. Around the corner I would find the same void that I felt here.

I shivered at my own isolation, but made no attempt to warm myself. Instead, I sat on the cold stone stairs and watched the sea.

I'd done the same thing a few days ago, while Balamb was still seaborne. Rinoa had joined me then; had given me some sense of comfort in the end, though I hadn't accepted the gift at the time. But Rinoa would not come now. She had no place here, and so she'd stayed behind while the five of us went to search for ourselves.

And what had I found? Nothing new. Just the same Squall.

And Hyne was I sick of the same old Squall.

I wanted to be the other Squall, I decided. I wanted to be happy, confident, free of pressure, and… loved.

Yes, I wanted to love and be loved… but how could I feel love when I couldn't feel life? How could anyone love a shell with no core, no being, no heart, no past, no purpose?

I jumped up. "Who am I?" I shouted into the roar of the wind and the sea.

I ran, skidding, down the stairs, stumbled across the sand, and dived into the water. The chill caught me by the throat and I convulsed against it, pushing and thrashing away from the cold stone ruins, until a different chill caught me, and I sank.


End file.
